If you have kids and boomer parents, do you get less help with kids than they got?

[Anonymous]

From their parents. I have seen on social media people complain that they went to their grandparents’ houses on a regular basis so their parents could have dates or just a break from kids, but their Boomer parents will hardly help them at all.

This is strictly curiosity; my Boomer parents and in-laws rarely help me but I live far away, and my mom never got help from her mom. But I wonder if this is common or just a subset of people complaining.

[Anonymous]

I get more help from my parents than my parents did from theirs.

[Anonymous]

Hard to say. I think a lot of boomers are older when they become grandparents than their parents were. That has to be a factor.

But they are stereotypically selfish, and stereotypes exist for a reason.

[Anonymous]

My parents had a nanny for me. I have a nanny for my kids. I never met any grandparents. My in-laws visit a few times a year and help when they’re here.

[Anonymous]

My parents got much much more help financially and with kids then they offer me. My maternal grandmother was anyways picking us up from school or taking us on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get more help from my parents than my parents did from theirs.

Same. But we also lived thousands of miles a way.

But they help here and therr. More accurate they play with the kids and talk with them take them out somewhere.

Don't expect free babysitting. And I suspect many people are not accurately remembering the time they spent with grandparents and greatly overestimating the amount of childcare they will want to do in their in their late 50s to mid 70s

[Anonymous]

My parents didn't get help and neither do I. MC striver problems - each generation moved away from family for education and middling white collar jobs.

[Anonymous]

My mom is a rock star and relocated to be near grand kids. They sleepover her place once a month on weekend and she helps tremendously with carpools. My sister came to town and her and my mom took kids for a week while my DH and I went on vacation. No help financially but I know how lucky I am.

[Anonymous]

I get more help than my parents got, and they lived very near one set of my grandparents and not too far away from the other set. My mom was terrible at asking for help.

Meanwhile, we live a 6 or 7-hour drive away from the closest set of grandparents and they still help us at least once a month. We get weekends away, child-free vacations occasionally, evenings. It's very nice and I appreciate it a lot.

It is still not as much grandparent help as I would like. We spend a lot on babysitters and daycare and are usually still scrambling in a childcare emergency (quarantine, etc.).

[Anonymous]

We are (late) Boomer parents. We had no help from our parents. They had no help from theirs. My parents did practically raise my niece and nephew when my sister needed the help. We have fully funded our kids education and hope to give hands-on help if/when the time comes.

Now, can we talk about the stereotypical lazy, entitled Millennial who needs constant praise to even get out of bed in the morning?

[Anonymous]

My grandparents were there every summer, holiday and emergency. My grandparents helped pay for college and extras despite my parents having mine. My parents live ten minutes away and never help despite being very healthy. Not even in an emergency. I gave up years ago. Teens have little interest in them. We see them a few times a year. They never get gifts either.

[Anonymous]

I get more help than my mom got. My maternal grandparents died when I was very young and my paternal grandparents weren't that interested in child care (though they were happy to see us when we visited). My mom, on the other hand, is extremely involved in my kids' lives. I'm very appreciative of all the help she's given over the years.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my boomer parents got more help with kids from their parents, than they gave me.

I don't think age was a reason. I was my maternal grandparents first grandchild-born when my grandma was about 48 and grandpa about 50.

My parents became grandparents when my first child was born--mom was about 51 and Dad about 53.
So my parents were slightly older, but it's not like they were elderly.

[Anonymous]

My parents definitely got more help. My paternal grandparents lived right next door in a house my parents bought for them, and my mom’s parents would visit at least once a month. My grandparents had their own lives but they were always available to help and would take us kids while my parents went on vacation by themselves.
My sibling and I both had kids much later than my parents. They are not able to help physically as much due to health constraints. My MIL is also old and lives in Europe. They keep offering to pay for outsourcing but we haven’t taken them up on it. They are very interring the lives of their grandchildren otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, my boomer parents got more help with kids from their parents, than they gave me.

I don't think age was a reason. I was my maternal grandparents first grandchild-born when my grandma was about 48 and grandpa about 50.

My parents became grandparents when my first child was born--mom was about 51 and Dad about 53.
So my parents were slightly older, but it's not like they were elderly.

Those are all very young ages to become grandparents!!