Would you tell your friend the neighborhood they are looking is Trumpy?

[Anonymous]

FTR I couldn't care less if they are cool with living in a Trumpy neighborhood but I genuinely can't tell if they actually know. I asked her what they think of it and they said their friends live in the next town over and they like it so it must be fine. They are liberal/progressive if that is not obvious.

[Anonymous]

If you have to ask here, maybe you’re not close enough with this friend to discuss something like that. If you are close, absolutely tell friend in a non-threatening way.

[Anonymous]

Assume they've put more thought into where they will live than you have. It's not your call.

[Anonymous]

I would care, so I would definitely ask whether the neighborhood they are looking at leans conservative or liberal. Trump himself will soon be a non-factor in politics and his name is loaded, but a conservative neighborhood might be less accepting of people of color, or certain lifestyles, and its police force may be biased. All those concerns are legitimate and potentially matters of life and death.

We are an international family and are always very careful where we travel and where we live, because we have experienced racism and cultural ignorance in previous locations. I would not want a friend to unwittingly invest somewhere she might feel uncomfortable, or where I'd feel uncomfortable visiting her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have to ask here, maybe you’re not close enough with this friend to discuss something like that. If you are close, absolutely tell friend in a non-threatening way.

We are pretty close. I just know she and her husband are stressed about the housing market and bummed they can't live in their preferred neighborhood. I feel like no matter how I say it, it will feel like judgment if they do already know. If they don't it will be a bummer but at least it will be helpful. They have been through a lot in the past couple of months healthwise and I worry they are panic searching.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have to ask here, maybe you’re not close enough with this friend to discuss something like that. If you are close, absolutely tell friend in a non-threatening way.

We are pretty close. I just know she and her husband are stressed about the housing market and bummed they can't live in their preferred neighborhood. I feel like no matter how I say it, it will feel like judgment if they do already know. If they don't it will be a bummer but at least it will be helpful. They have been through a lot in the past couple of months healthwise and I worry they are panic searching.

Then they should wait to buy. There's a recession coming, the real estate market will slow down. Prices might not come down, but they'll have more time to think before signing.

[Anonymous]

Maybe just ask first whether the political leanings of the neighborhood are even a consideration for them. For many people, it's irrelevant - most people vote as they please and otherwise mind their own business without concerning themselves with the votes cast by others. It may not be a stretch to think that for most people factors other than voting tendencies take precedence when considering where to live. For the politically-obsessed, maybe the politics of their neighbors is disproportionately important, but it may or may not be of concern for you friend. Where I live, I neither know nor care how my neighbors vote. I care how they treat me, but that's individual, not based on political party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe just ask first whether the political leanings of the neighborhood are even a consideration for them. For many people, it's irrelevant - most people vote as they please and otherwise mind their own business without concerning themselves with the votes cast by others. It may not be a stretch to think that for most people factors other than voting tendencies take precedence when considering where to live. For the politically-obsessed, maybe the politics of their neighbors is disproportionately important, but it may or may not be of concern for you friend. Where I live, I neither know nor care how my neighbors vote. I care how they treat me, but that's individual, not based on political party.

+1 And honestly not retreating into political enclaves is good for the country imo, although no judgement to those who do retreat especially if their safety is at stake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have to ask here, maybe you’re not close enough with this friend to discuss something like that. If you are close, absolutely tell friend in a non-threatening way.

We are pretty close. I just know she and her husband are stressed about the housing market and bummed they can't live in their preferred neighborhood. I feel like no matter how I say it, it will feel like judgment if they do already know. If they don't it will be a bummer but at least it will be helpful. They have been through a lot in the past couple of months healthwise and I worry they are panic searching.

PP here, OP. I wondered if she might feel judged. It’s hard when you don’t want to see a friend make a bad decision, but realize it’s best for the friendship to say nothing. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe just ask first whether the political leanings of the neighborhood are even a consideration for them. For many people, it's irrelevant - most people vote as they please and otherwise mind their own business without concerning themselves with the votes cast by others. It may not be a stretch to think that for most people factors other than voting tendencies take precedence when considering where to live. For the politically-obsessed, maybe the politics of their neighbors is disproportionately important, but it may or may not be of concern for you friend. Where I live, I neither know nor care how my neighbors vote. I care how they treat me, but that's individual, not based on political party.

Yep, as I said I don't care if they don't care. But their preferred neighborhood is extremely progressive, so, they might care.

[Anonymous]

Please elaborate on what makes a neighborhood look Trumpy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have to ask here, maybe you’re not close enough with this friend to discuss something like that. If you are close, absolutely tell friend in a non-threatening way.

We are pretty close. I just know she and her husband are stressed about the housing market and bummed they can't live in their preferred neighborhood. I feel like no matter how I say it, it will feel like judgment if they do already know. If they don't it will be a bummer but at least it will be helpful. They have been through a lot in the past couple of months healthwise and I worry they are panic searching.

PP here, OP. I wondered if she might feel judged. It’s hard when you don’t want to see a friend make a bad decision, but realize it’s best for the friendship to say nothing. Good luck.

When making the most expensive purchase you're likely to make, I would err on the side of saying something. You can always be apologetic and make up for it later, since she's a close friend. But NOT saying something about buying a HOUSE when you know she's not thinking straight is really not being a good friend!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please elaborate on what makes a neighborhood look Trumpy?

Trump signs. Confederate flags. Blue line flags. Gun racks on pickup trucks.

[Anonymous]

I am so curious to know their preferred neighborhood and the one they’re considering instead that’s Trumpy. Is this in the DC area?