To those of you with a f*** buddy, how did it come about?

[Anonymous]

This is a spin-off of the thread where divorced women say they have no desire to date but maintain a sex partner to satisfy that aspect of their lives. How did you (also asking single, never-married women) begin these relationships? Online dating, existing friend, past romantic partner, etc.?

As a guy, how can I set up one or a couple such relationships?

[Anonymous]

In college, went to parties and bars a dozen times. Liked each other and had sex. She didn’t want a commitment, I said ok. Continued to have weekly sex for over a year. I found another girl and dated her. Broke up with my FWB and it broke her heart. I would have serious with her if she would have made a commitment.

She is now 40, divorced with two kids. Even more attractive now. Both her sisters have failed marriages too. Possible family of origin issues?

[Anonymous]

I am a woman. Bumble. We only see each other. Sex and texting/talking on the phone.

[Anonymous]

We dated, we got married. Wife and F buddy are just a couple of titles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman. Bumble. We only see each other. Sex and texting/talking on the phone.

NP. The bold seems very trusting. And note that the OP is asking here how to set up "a couple" of these no-strings, sex-only deals, not seeking just one "we only see each other" arrangement. So why believe that your "f*** buddy" is telling the truth about having sex only with you? Asking seriously, PP. How do you know that someone you met online and know in no other context than sex is being monogamous sexually? "Texting/talking on the phone" doesn't constitute enough of a relationship to know the person well enough for that level of trust, at least not to me, and I'm guessing the texting/phoning are at least partly focused on sex and logistics of meeting up for sex.

Since there's no way to hear "tone" in a DCUM post: I'm not judging the arrangement itself, PP, 'm just wondering how you trust that your sex partner is actually limiting sex to you. That seems like a "take him at his word" situation with someone who could have no real incentive to be truthful.

[Anonymous]

Ashley Madison

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin-off of the thread where divorced women say they have no desire to date but maintain a sex partner to satisfy that aspect of their lives. How did you (also asking single, never-married women) begin these relationships? Online dating, existing friend, past romantic partner, etc.?

As a guy, how can I set up one or a couple such relationships?

My FWB is someone I met on Tinder. We are truly friebds, though. My FB I met at a bar.

[Anonymous]

Mine was a guy that I had a huge crush on in High School… like three decades past.

He was hot then & was very popular then.
All of the girls liked him but since I was an awkward teenager back then - this particular guy would never have noticed me even if I set myself on fire in the lunch court.

However years had definitely passed + he eventually lost his youthful, good looks.
Think bald and huge beer belly, Lol.
Plus the cliques of years past were long gone and he was easier access.

We reconnected on Facebook then made a mutual pact to only have sex.
Turned out, as a Middle-aged woman, I was no longer attracted to him (AT ALL‼️)
He still thought that he was the dreamboat that he was in H.S. and was still trying to act like he was all that and a bag of potato chips.

So we parted ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman. Bumble. We only see each other. Sex and texting/talking on the phone.

NP. The bold seems very trusting. And note that the OP is asking here how to set up "a couple" of these no-strings, sex-only deals, not seeking just one "we only see each other" arrangement. So why believe that your "f*** buddy" is telling the truth about having sex only with you? Asking seriously, PP. How do you know that someone you met online and know in no other context than sex is being monogamous sexually? "Texting/talking on the phone" doesn't constitute enough of a relationship to know the person well enough for that level of trust, at least not to me, and I'm guessing the texting/phoning are at least partly focused on sex and logistics of meeting up for sex.

Since there's no way to hear "tone" in a DCUM post: I'm not judging the arrangement itself, PP, 'm just wondering how you trust that your sex partner is actually limiting sex to you. That seems like a "take him at his word" situation with someone who could have no real incentive to be truthful.

I really don’t see how it’s any different than trusting anybody else. Also it was discussed at length before we started sleeping with each other and we were both tested and we’re both paranoid about diseases, etc. our phone calls are usually about personal things and work and things like that. Text is usually “how was your day” ; “how’s your week or “when do you wanna meet?l

[Anonymous]

My F buddy is a guy I used to work with 20yrs ago. His wife left him after the kids were out of the house. He’s not divorced and probably never will be unless she wants it. It works for me since I have no desire for a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In college, went to parties and bars a dozen times. Liked each other and had sex. She didn’t want a commitment, I said ok. Continued to have weekly sex for over a year. I found another girl and dated her. Broke up with my FWB and it broke her heart. I would have serious with her if she would have made a commitment.

She is now 40, divorced with two kids. Even more attractive now. Both her sisters have failed marriages too. Possible family of origin issues?

And you felt.... nothing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We dated, we got married. Wife and F buddy are just a couple of titles.

I was in search of this when I divorced and only wanted sex. Maybe meet 1-3 times per week when kids are with ex. You can’t trust that they are only with you. Because on line dating is an endless pool of possibilities. I now just don’t think about sex and it’s much easier. I’m in the just be with myself boat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin-off of the thread where divorced women say they have no desire to date but maintain a sex partner to satisfy that aspect of their lives. How did you (also asking single, never-married women) begin these relationships? Online dating, existing friend, past romantic partner, etc.?

As a guy, how can I set up one or a couple such relationships?

My FWB is someone I met on Tinder. We are truly friebds, though. My FB I met at a bar.

Guess I should elaborate. FWB lives out of state but is here one weekend a month. We talk on the phone and text several times a week in between his trips. We have mutual hobbies. He’s helped me w/ some family stuff and picking out a new car. I help him w/ some graphic design work. If we stopped having sex we’d still b friends.

FB and I met at a bar. I got his # when he asked me to send him some info about an event I was doing. We have gotten drinks a couple times but it’s usualky last minute. He’ll text to see if I am out or I will text when I’m out, but we rarely hook up because he travels a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In college, went to parties and bars a dozen times. Liked each other and had sex. She didn’t want a commitment, I said ok. Continued to have weekly sex for over a year. I found another girl and dated her. Broke up with my FWB and it broke her heart. I would have serious with her if she would have made a commitment.

She is now 40, divorced with two kids. Even more attractive now. Both her sisters have failed marriages too. Possible family of origin issues?

And you felt.... nothing?

I felt bad for her. Seemed like a really nice young lady, very polished. Afraid of commitment or looking for something else? Got along great. Sex was great. In hind sight, I’m glad I did not get serious with her as I may be divorced now. I matured young and was very serious.

[Anonymous]

dating apps are a good place to start. And then just be honest and also kind about everything. Tinder is probably better for these types of situations but all the same people are on okcupid and bumble. meet for coffee or a drink or a walk or something. Don’t just ask her to come over to your place. Be up front that you want something casual. Personally casual is ok if it’s one person. But you can’t trust anyone but yourself so always use protection. Good luck!