Trying to decide whether we should stay at private or go back to public

[Anonymous]

We were at public school for 2 years and then switched to private school this year for third grade, mainly due to Covid. Interestingly, my son was one of 5 new kids this year in third grade, so not the only new kid.

Anyhow, it's been one year at private school and I'm trying to decide if we want to stay for another year or go back to public. Finances are not an issue.

The issue is more: is private worth the tuitition money? I'm really not sure at this point. I'm a lot less enthusiastic now after one year than I was this past fall.

Here are the pros of private in my opinion and the cons:

Pros:
-Good Covid protocols and while masks are optional, half of the class still wears them, including my child. My child is not made to feel different because he still wears a mask all day. Some kids even wear their mask at recess still. Most parents are very Covid cautious and there have been no outbreaks in the class.
-Academics are strong and my child is ahead of grade level compared to public school in terms of what they're learning
-Small class sizes and lots of individual attention. My son's public school teachers never knew him as well as the private school teachers do
-Doing better overall in the smaller class setting than in the larger public school classes


Cons:
-Expensive
-Tiny grade of 25 so very few kids to be friends with through the years
-The school claimed their sense of community is warm and welcoming but I have not found this. I have set up dozens of playdates over the year and none have been reciprocated. My child has lots of friends in his class and I am setting up playdates with these kids but my son has not been invited to anything at all all year.
-There have been a few family social events and people are friendly but not interested in being actual friends, which is hugely disappointing
-The specials are weak--art, music, and PE compared to public school. I feel like the art my child brings home from art class, for instance, is very disappointing in terms of the art projects they do compared to at public school.

I'm trying to figure out what we should do for next year. Any thoughts? The community thing is big for us because we were hoping the school would be a source of new friendships.

[Anonymous]

Switching back to public after private. Underwhelming for what we pay at over 30 grand per year.

[Anonymous]

I think you should look at it less in regards to friendships for you, and make it more about it being a good fit for your child.

Is your child happy? Are they thriving? How will they feel after leaving public, switching to private, and then getting yanked out to be switched back to public? Maybe involve your child more in the decision process as this is going to be effecting them more than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should look at it less in regards to friendships for you, and make it more about it being a good fit for your child.

Is your child happy? Are they thriving? How will they feel after leaving public, switching to private, and then getting yanked out to be switched back to public? Maybe involve your child more in the decision process as this is going to be effecting them more than you.

Friendships are a huge factor and you should dismiss that as pp suggested.

[Anonymous]

The covid protocols for private seem like it could easily be found in public so not really a pro.

[Anonymous]

Outbreaks at my DC private and close contacts supposed to mask for 10 days. It’s not happening and school is not enforcing their own rule.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends a lot more on the two individual schools. We have been in private (pre-covid), and we are going back to public. The instruction is solid, but it's not worth it.

Culture and family connectedness do matter. As the kids got older, the behavior problems and bullying increased a lot at our private school. The school also has hid a vaping/drug issue. It really does matter that families aren't connected because I think it's easier for a cruddy culture to take off.

[Anonymous]

We are at a private and there is a disconnect because most are spread out. The school touted “community” but now I know it’s a marketing tool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The covid protocols for private seem like it could easily be found in public so not really a pro.

+1 lots of kids in public still wear a mask in MCPS. Not sure about elsewhere.

If you were to keep your kid in private, how is the K-12 path? You said money wasn't an issue, but put the expense is in the cons column, so you are clearly seeing the extra expense as something. Is the cost of HS tuition the same or higher? How does the expense impact other things like 529 and retirement?

For us, we could easily afford $30K in tuition, but we don't have family money, nor are we uber rich, so this would lower our retirement contribution by a quarter, which we don't want to do. But if we felt that DC absolutely needed smaller class sizes and individual attention, we would do it.

You said the 3rd grade curriculum seems more advanced than public school, but what about MS and HS? From what I gather, STEM in public is stronger than in private at the HS level, depending on where you are.

[Anonymous]

I have done both with my kids now and will be retuning to public next year. Nothing head and shoulders better overall at private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were at public school for 2 years and then switched to private school this year for third grade, mainly due to Covid. Interestingly, my son was one of 5 new kids this year in third grade, so not the only new kid.

Anyhow, it's been one year at private school and I'm trying to decide if we want to stay for another year or go back to public. Finances are not an issue.

The issue is more: is private worth the tuitition money? I'm really not sure at this point. I'm a lot less enthusiastic now after one year than I was this past fall.

Here are the pros of private in my opinion and the cons:

Pros:
-Good Covid protocols and while masks are optional, half of the class still wears them, including my child. My child is not made to feel different because he still wears a mask all day. Some kids even wear their mask at recess still. Most parents are very Covid cautious and there have been no outbreaks in the class.
-Academics are strong and my child is ahead of grade level compared to public school in terms of what they're learning
-Small class sizes and lots of individual attention. My son's public school teachers never knew him as well as the private school teachers do
-Doing better overall in the smaller class setting than in the larger public school classes


Cons:
-Expensive
-Tiny grade of 25 so very few kids to be friends with through the years
-The school claimed their sense of community is warm and welcoming but I have not found this. I have set up dozens of playdates over the year and none have been reciprocated. My child has lots of friends in his class and I am setting up playdates with these kids but my son has not been invited to anything at all all year.
-There have been a few family social events and people are friendly but not interested in being actual friends, which is hugely disappointing
-The specials are weak--art, music, and PE compared to public school. I feel like the art my child brings home from art class, for instance, is very disappointing in terms of the art projects they do compared to at public school.

I'm trying to figure out what we should do for next year. Any thoughts? The community thing is big for us because we were hoping the school would be a source of new friendships.

That sounds like a private where I taught for a few years. One mother said exactly the same thing about kids socializing outside class and parent attitudes. Her son benefitted from the extra attention in class, but she was clearly underwhelmed with the rest of the experience. I don't know if they stayed or not.

[Anonymous]

We switched to public last year and are very happy with our decision. The larger community has really helped our kid find a group to be comfortable with. There were good teachers in private and bad teachers in private, and there are good teachers and public and bad teachers in public. The main difference is the public school emphasis on allowing rework which I don’t love. However that did not make up for the $35,000 a year price tag. Overall the social scene at public is superior.

[Anonymous]

I’m a teacher at public school. Most kids still wear masks. No one cares whether you wear a mask or not. I would remove this from your list of concerns if you are in the greater DC area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We switched to public last year and are very happy with our decision. The larger community has really helped our kid find a group to be comfortable with. There were good teachers in private and bad teachers in private, and there are good teachers and public and bad teachers in public. The main difference is the public school emphasis on allowing rework which I don’t love. However that did not make up for the $35,000 a year price tag. Overall the social scene at public is superior.

Sounds like my child’s private, down to the cost. Not returning next year and going back to public.

[Anonymous]

I think your pro con list is a perfectly accurate summary. The only difference for people like me, who have been in private for years, is the community is real. But we started in pre-K and way before Covid. Joining later and in Covid isn’t the same, unfortunately. Not sure anyone can help you decide. The scale for me is heavily weighted in favor of private bc I have my friends and community, plus the other pros.