Almost done with freshman year! And lessons learned.
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Anonymous
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How did the first year end up for the class of 2025 and parents?!
I can’t believe the year is almost done. Little over two weeks of classes left and then finals for mine. It was a year of amazing growth both academically and socially for one. For the other (twins obviously), it was a year of sickness and injury. I can count on one hand how many weeks they were healthy since august drop off. Very tough year because of dealing with that and the transition. Lessons learned: 1. More vitamins and meds on hand for the inevitable sicknesses. Also air filter. 2. We were told not to succumb to the pressure to rent an apartment for sophomore year in October but in reality that IS when you need to book Something if you’re at a large state school. Glad the kids found a place then as there is nothing good left this spring. 3. Encourage the kids to bring home fall clothes at Thanksgiving and winter clothes at Easter. 4. Don’t stress about their grades. Don’t even ask. Trust me they are plenty stressed about it without you adding to it. If they stay out all night drinking and miss a class or an assignment, they will learn from their mistakes. Freshman year is going to be hard, don’t expect As even if your kid has never gotten worse than an A. 5. The piece of advice I have my kids when I left them at drop off was, “don’t be the drink freshman passed out on the bathroom floor”. Happy to say they never were and in fact are quite proud of that. Overall drinking has slowed down but those first few weeks (really until Midterms) were pretty out of control for many kids. Who else wants to report? |
Anonymous
| So jaded by the roommate selection process. Both for this year and next year. |
Anonymous
| I love this thread and I prepare to send my first off. More please! |
Anonymous
| #4 is good. Set expectations reasonably low (3.0?), but make sure there are consequences for not meeting them. |
Anonymous
Agreed. I told mine something with a 3.x in front of it is what I would consider success. Thankfully met that first semester but no idea how they are tracking now. In college it’s a lot harder to know where you stand with few assignments and grades not posted in a speedy manner. |
Anonymous
| Wow. Helicopter parent alert. |
Anonymous
Ok if you say so. |
Anonymous
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Get a checking account joint with your young adult. Makes moving funds fast and easy.
The roommate thing is no big deal. Short of a psychopath they will either be great friends or acquaintances. And honestly both are fine. I did ask about grades. It’s her job to get good grades. Yes skip class. Yes f up get high and party. But also start learning the tipping points and balance needed to still be successful. That’s life. The advisors are there to help. Ask questions. Keep pushing your kid back to asking their questions to the right persons. How many study abroad? Which credits count? How much? Which classes should they take this semester? Next semester? If college is a plane flight away, pack clothes, then buy the bedding etc when you get there at target etc. If mental health is a priority look it up ahead of time, find in network resources, learn what is offered at student health services Encourage your kid to make a class plan for their time in undergrad. Mine did by second semester. It might change as interests change but they have a plan for graduating in 4 years with major and minor in areas of interest and a semester study abroad. They are future focused which at this age they should be. Ask about alcohol and drug use. It’s very real thing on campuses. Keep ‘em talking to you. Care packages are happily received. |
Anonymous
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Disagree about the no grade checking.
Depends on the kid and circumstances. If a kid is at a school and is dependent on merit aid to remain at the school, as a parent , yes, it’s best to check in on grades a couple times. |
Anonymous
well sure in that situation. I just wouldn't constantly ask. My DC volunteers their grades so never been an issue, but I find if I ask them, I can hear the stress level rise and they get defensive. |
Anonymous
Kids do not write checks. Venmo is their currency. |
Anonymous
My kid has a debit card linked to our banking account. As do most of her friends. Easy to transfer money in and keep an eye on spending. |
Anonymous
+1 I feel so embarrassed for parents like this. |
Anonymous
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Supply them with more medicine and first aid
tool box dont check grades - they will figure it out. |
Anonymous
Disagree. This is good, reasonable advice. Most colleges have parent Facebook groups, and they are CRAZY with helicopter parents. They post about how their kid's floor is too noisy, the food is bad, etc. OP's advice is none of that. My DC has had a pretty good year, and we are grateful, especially in COVID times. YES, they got COVID. YES, they handled it. Couple of tips from a kid at a large state university: -- At a big school, an activity makes it feel a lot smaller. Join SOMETHING, even if you think you're not a joiner. There is so much for these kids to do ... they just have to push themselves out of their comfort zone and do it. -- Find a nice place to study. This won't be the same for every kid, but creating positive associations with a certain place on campus seemed to light a fire under my kid. -- Watch out for deadlines (housing, honors program, scholarship). The information is usually out there somewhere, but sometimes isn't well communicated. |