Uncomfortable in a bikini

[Anonymous]

I think that as you start going to the pool, you will get more comfortable. Really… you will be more comfortable seeing other people in bikinis and perhaps yourself in some sort of bathing suit.

I am European and going topless is very common. My husband and his family and from South America where I believe going topless is a crime. I remember my husband and his brother taking “walks” on the beach to look at the toes women (my husband tells me everything). After a while, they stopped caring and got used to it.

You don’t have to do anything you donMt want to, but if you want to become comfortable with bikinis (yours and of others), I think the more you are around them, the easier it will get!

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband's behavior isn't going to change even if you wore the most revealing bikini possible.

Pay attention.
1. She wants her kids to go swimming.
2. She does not want her husband to take them swimming as he is talking to women in bikinis. He may or may not be leering. It could just be OP's insecurity and she cannot confront her DH about it because he is being normal about women in bikini.
3. She does not want to wear bikini herself if she has to take the kids swimming.
4. She does not want to be the weirdo who covers herself in a burkini if she gets into the water.

I personally thinks that the most important question to ask is if OP knows how to swim? Or if she is ok with getting very tanned?

If the answer is "yes" to both then she should get over the shyness and wear whatever she wants to wear to swim. Maybe even this -

https://www.amazon.com/Short-Sleeve-Piece-Swimsuit-Blue-WomenAsian/dp/B00WZX5RJY

Interesting how it’s considered rude and backward to judge women who wear bikinis but it’s totally acceptable to judge women who choose to wear burkinis as “weirdos.” Typical hypocrisy. Women shouldn’t be judged regardless of what they wear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a guy and wear a banana hammock to show off my big smile…. 🤣
Seriously, men are going to look no matter what you’re wearing.

Second part is true. If you are attractive, men are going to look and fantasize. It's just how we are wired. We can be respectful about it. Go enjoy the pool

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback. I am glad to know there are others who feel uncomfortable like me in a bikini.

I understand it is me who needs to change or adapt. I want to be just like other women who are in a bikini with a drink in one hand and can confidently chat with men. I grew up in a culture where this is just not the norm.

So my question I guess really is, if this something that women just grow into it and if so, there is some hope for me. In that case maybe if I try wearing a few times I might slowly get comfortable after a while.

DH is white and is supportive of me in whatever I am comfortable. It is just as likely I am imagining things when I said checking out other women. But it how I feel.

Thanks for putting up with my rant and all the helpful suggestions!

I am an obese woman who never wears a bikini and I seriously doubt that anyone at the beach or pool is paying any attention to what I am wearing.

My husband talks to both men and women in a variety of pool attire and I don’t think he is “checking out” any of them.

If your husband is a lech, then you need to deal with that — but this really does sound like insecurity talking. Assuming your husband loves you, he will think you look great no matter what you wear. And almost no one at the pool will care what you wear - other than perhaps a few totally obnoxious people, and who cares what they think???

[Anonymous]

I am American. I do not wear bikinis. There are a lot of us like this.