Uncomfortable in a bikini

[Anonymous]

I come from a different culture where we are not used to wearing a bikini. We live in a community with a pool that is the focal point of all kids and social activities. So I let DH take the kids to the pool and for anything pool related. This weekend I ended up going along with DH and I got really jealous of the way DH was chatting with other women in bikinis. I can sense he is checking them out although with sunglasses it is all hidden.

I know I am in an impossible situation where I cannot take the kids because I am uncomfortable and find myself with envy at the way DH chats with other women when he takes them.

I am in good shape so it is not my weight or looks. Even with more modest swimwear it is really uncomfortable for me when men are around. I guess I am just venting but does it get more comfortable as you wear a bikini over time? Do other women find it uncomfortable at first and slowly get used to it? Or are you at ease right from the beginning?

[Anonymous]

I think you should wear what you are comfortable in, not what you think you "should" wear. If you prefer a one-piece bathing suit or a tankini, then wear that.

I have never been comfortable in a bikini, even when I had the body to wear one (I don't now), so I've never worn one.

[Anonymous]

Bikinis are overrated, I mean if you want to swim in laps, you wear a swimsuit, if you want to do paddleboard, wear longs sleeve with board shorts and sun hat, if you want to post for pictures wear revealing or flowy beach dresses. Bikini has no functional use nor flattering figure use.

[Anonymous]

I'm an American girl born and raised with what is considered to be a bikini body-and I don't wear bikinis. I don't feel comfortable in them. I usually wear a 1 piece with a long wrap around them or even shorts and a shirt.


You wear what you're comfortable in.

Also, your DH is gross for leering at and flirting with women when he's supposed to be enjoying the day with his wife and kids.

[Anonymous]

Honestly OP many women have body image issues so wearing a bathing suit can be uncomfortable. I understand your issue is slightly different.

How about, board shorts or swim skirts for the bottoms? They cover a lot and look so cute.

Also, for the top, they make very pretty items called Rash Guards. Basically, they are swim shirts. They look like long-sleeved t's or short-sleeved ones. Some have zippers some pull over.

Many companies make these. I personally like the swim shorts Or board shorts from La Blanca or Nike as they are not too short. As for the tops, many swim companies make them.

Another place to look is Lands End. They have suits that do not show alot but are super flattering.

Maybe buy something and wear it around the house for a few days and see how you feel. It's like wearing a shorts set. You should be able to find ones that are not too short.

Now your husband is disrespecting you if he has a roving eye He sounds gross..

Do not do this for him. Do it for you! You can do this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an American girl born and raised with what is considered to be a bikini body-and I don't wear bikinis. I don't feel comfortable in them. I usually wear a 1 piece with a long wrap around them or even shorts and a shirt.


You wear what you're comfortable in.

Also, your DH is gross for leering at and flirting with women when he's supposed to be enjoying the day with his wife and kids.

+1

[Anonymous]

Echoing the chorus about wearing what you feel comfortable in.

I have very large breasts, most swim tops do not provide support, or too much cleavage by shoving everything together. It’s uncomfortable for me and certainly if my teen boys were with me.

I wear a halter tankini to ensure I don’t have nip slips or cleavage to my chin. I really don’t care if DCUM hates them. It’s what I can wear and still enjoy myself at the pool or beach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an American girl born and raised with what is considered to be a bikini body-and I don't wear bikinis. I don't feel comfortable in them. I usually wear a 1 piece with a long wrap around them or even shorts and a shirt.


You wear what you're comfortable in.

Also, your DH is gross for leering at and flirting with women when he's supposed to be enjoying the day with his wife and kids.

+1

Except that this is the OP and her DH's culture, right? "Modest" dress is imposed on women because men can't help themselves? So if a woman is showing her body, it must mean she is ok with being leered at and that is the DH's g-d given right and biological imperative?

[Anonymous]

I find the Lands End tankini’s and shorts to be comfortably modest. They also have really nice coverups that look like dresses. I’ve never worn a bikini, and I’d say I never will at this point!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an American girl born and raised with what is considered to be a bikini body-and I don't wear bikinis. I don't feel comfortable in them. I usually wear a 1 piece with a long wrap around them or even shorts and a shirt.


You wear what you're comfortable in.

Also, your DH is gross for leering at and flirting with women when he's supposed to be enjoying the day with his wife and kids.

+1

Except that this is the OP and her DH's culture, right? "Modest" dress is imposed on women because men can't help themselves? So if a woman is showing her body, it must mean she is ok with being leered at and that is the DH's g-d given right and biological imperative?

He's being gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Echoing the chorus about wearing what you feel comfortable in.

I have very large breasts, most swim tops do not provide support, or too much cleavage by shoving everything together. It’s uncomfortable for me and certainly if my teen boys were with me.

I wear a halter tankini to ensure I don’t have nip slips or cleavage to my chin. I really don’t care if DCUM hates them. It’s what I can wear and still enjoy myself at the pool or beach.

Tankinis are great!

And halter ones are comfy.

[Anonymous]

Get a modest swimsuit and invest in a nice cover up - like this one:



It will be like you are wearing a dress. Once you get more comfortable you can maybe take it off to swim.

I hate walking around in my swimsuit and a bikini is out of the question.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is gross and those women he's chatting with are likely super uncomfortable. Wearing a bikini is not an invitation to be leered at (and I was once sexually harassed on the metro while wearing full winter weather gear, so let's not victim blame).

[Anonymous]

Wear a one piece and a coverup. Only take it off for the 30 seconds to get in and out of the water.

[Anonymous]

Another US born and raised female who has never worn a bikini. Find the suit you like. Most will think you are trying to avoid too much sun exposure.