Lapsed Catholics

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t criticize me for choosing to be a practicing catholic and raising my kids in the faith.

But, if you are a lapsed catholic, is there anything your parents did or did not do that contributed to you wanting to leave the church? I don’t care about any of the issues with the church. I’m well aware of the issues. But, when it came to family devotions, practices, schooling, etc...do you think your parents did or didn’t do anything that factored into your teen/adult thoughts and choices?

I was sexually abused by a relative and they tried to hide it so they could portray the image of the beautiful extended family. Even throughout my life the focus was always on me forgiving him and befriending him rather than protecting me. I had to spend many years after sitting next to him, being alone with him etc. Later I found out my abuser was unhappy in his marriage and wanted to divorce but my parents argued against it which probably led to the abuse. It's further triggering to have found out as an adult that the church itself promoted this behavior with priests and children and then to see other Catholic friends also not support the victims. Then to see them act like they care about unborn babies rather than the babies priests abused is more unforgiving. Then realizing that people are not able healthily to abstain this much from sex and that the entire religion is built on a foundation of giving up your life for some supposed great future life and excusing behavior on earth versus trying to live your best moral life here and manage your earthly desires was another point that turned me away from the church. I saw priests pretend to be celibate but really be gay because they couldn't face their own masculinity and then turn around and tell people that being gay was wrong. Then to see people politicize the religion and act like they were christians while doing majorly unchristian things made the little customs that I liked about the religion turn into weapons as these people paraded this belief that whatever custom they adhered to was more important than being a good person. Basically, one major lapse by my family led to the realization that the entire foundation of the religion was shaky.

Interestingly I still practice the faith in my own way kind of combining jewish secular, and catholic customs and beliefs.
What I couldn't get away from though was the fact that I was worshipping a woman who never had sex but somehow became a mother to all and was a human without sin so nothing like regular women and a man who somehow saved everyone by dying himself and also was without sin. It wasn't an achievable earthly outcome nor did it seem a path to becoming godlike by forsaking the body completely. I couldn't get over that this faith was basically discarding the use and regulation of the goodness and evilness within the human body. I think it relates to why so many Catholics and Christians disregard their lives on earth and make excuses for their behavior. People blame St. Augustine for bringing in the gnostic anti-body traditions, but I think it was present before this. Even communion. Eating the body. By making these people into gods it kind of tricks us into thinking we can also be like them but we are human. Mortal. And we have to contend with our survival and others on earth. So my issues ended up running way beyond just being upset at the church for abuse. I fail to see people living the faith in a way that actually contends with their human needs. They either give into the secretly or refrain from society so much that they can barely interact with it.

what I find so interesting is that Jesus and the Christians expected the end-days were imminent - and it just never happened. So the religion has had to be retooled often. Having read the religion forum for awhile, I can't even tell you what getting into heaven means. There seems to be quite a division of opinion among Christians on this point even today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t criticize me for choosing to be a practicing catholic and raising my kids in the faith.

But, if you are a lapsed catholic, is there anything your parents did or did not do that contributed to you wanting to leave the church? I don’t care about any of the issues with the church. I’m well aware of the issues. But, when it came to family devotions, practices, schooling, etc...do you think your parents did or didn’t do anything that factored into your teen/adult thoughts and choices?

I was sexually abused by a relative and they tried to hide it so they could portray the image of the beautiful extended family. Even throughout my life the focus was always on me forgiving him and befriending him rather than protecting me. I had to spend many years after sitting next to him, being alone with him etc. Later I found out my abuser was unhappy in his marriage and wanted to divorce but my parents argued against it which probably led to the abuse. It's further triggering to have found out as an adult that the church itself promoted this behavior with priests and children and then to see other Catholic friends also not support the victims. Then to see them act like they care about unborn babies rather than the babies priests abused is more unforgiving. Then realizing that people are not able healthily to abstain this much from sex and that the entire religion is built on a foundation of giving up your life for some supposed great future life and excusing behavior on earth versus trying to live your best moral life here and manage your earthly desires was another point that turned me away from the church. I saw priests pretend to be celibate but really be gay because they couldn't face their own masculinity and then turn around and tell people that being gay was wrong. Then to see people politicize the religion and act like they were christians while doing majorly unchristian things made the little customs that I liked about the religion turn into weapons as these people paraded this belief that whatever custom they adhered to was more important than being a good person. Basically, one major lapse by my family led to the realization that the entire foundation of the religion was shaky.

Interestingly I still practice the faith in my own way kind of combining jewish secular, and catholic customs and beliefs.
What I couldn't get away from though was the fact that I was worshipping a woman who never had sex but somehow became a mother to all and was a human without sin so nothing like regular women and a man who somehow saved everyone by dying himself and also was without sin. It wasn't an achievable earthly outcome nor did it seem a path to becoming godlike by forsaking the body completely. I couldn't get over that this faith was basically discarding the use and regulation of the goodness and evilness within the human body. I think it relates to why so many Catholics and Christians disregard their lives on earth and make excuses for their behavior. People blame St. Augustine for bringing in the gnostic anti-body traditions, but I think it was present before this. Even communion. Eating the body. By making these people into gods it kind of tricks us into thinking we can also be like them but we are human. Mortal. And we have to contend with our survival and others on earth. So my issues ended up running way beyond just being upset at the church for abuse. I fail to see people living the faith in a way that actually contends with their human needs. They either give into the secretly or refrain from society so much that they can barely interact with it.

what I find so interesting is that Jesus and the Christians expected the end-days were imminent - and it just never happened. So the religion has had to be retooled often. Having read the religion forum for awhile, I can't even tell you what getting into heaven means. There seems to be quite a division of opinion among Christians on this point even today.

There was quite a diversity of opinions about the end days in the gospels and among early Christians.

[Anonymous]

Nothing. It was the Arlington diocese treating me terribly when I wanted to marry dh who was a Protestant. The priest flat out said he didn’t want to and needed dh to convert. And when I married him they refused to bless the marriage until he went through rcia. Dh was willing to attend church weekly but he did not want to convert.

I would have loved to have attended weekly and raised my kids catholic (I tried to return a decade later when pregnant and they wouldn’t allow me to baptize the kids either). I still wish I could go back but I’m done with the Arlington diocese. It has to be the most conservative one in the country. The strangest thing because I’ve had cousins who married non Catholics and were still allowed to take communion and attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. It was the Arlington diocese treating me terribly when I wanted to marry dh who was a Protestant. The priest flat out said he didn’t want to and needed dh to convert. And when I married him they refused to bless the marriage until he went through rcia. Dh was willing to attend church weekly but he did not want to convert.

I would have loved to have attended weekly and raised my kids catholic (I tried to return a decade later when pregnant and they wouldn’t allow me to baptize the kids either). I still wish I could go back but I’m done with the Arlington diocese. It has to be the most conservative one in the country. The strangest thing because I’ve had cousins who married non Catholics and were still allowed to take communion and attend.

This makes no sense. You must have asked for something other than what the church does for spouses who not of the religion. It happens all the time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. It was the Arlington diocese treating me terribly when I wanted to marry dh who was a Protestant. The priest flat out said he didn’t want to and needed dh to convert. And when I married him they refused to bless the marriage until he went through rcia. Dh was willing to attend church weekly but he did not want to convert.

I would have loved to have attended weekly and raised my kids catholic (I tried to return a decade later when pregnant and they wouldn’t allow me to baptize the kids either). I still wish I could go back but I’m done with the Arlington diocese. It has to be the most conservative one in the country. The strangest thing because I’ve had cousins who married non Catholics and were still allowed to take communion and attend.

Not to take it off-topic, but I’m so sorry that you had this experience. I’m in a different diocese and my Anglican DH and I were married without a problem and we were in a baptismal prep class with same-sex couple parents. Our Catholic school has same-sex couples who are married and are beloved teachers and in spite of what our Archdiocese says, the school community and parish do not even blink at the situation. Luckily our school and parish are thriving so the money that goes back to the archdiocese must be what buys the archbishop’s silence. Gross, but whatever, it’s worth the price. There are people out there practicing Catholicism from a place of love and inclusion, and I hope you find them if you ever decide to come back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. It was the Arlington diocese treating me terribly when I wanted to marry dh who was a Protestant. The priest flat out said he didn’t want to and needed dh to convert. And when I married him they refused to bless the marriage until he went through rcia. Dh was willing to attend church weekly but he did not want to convert.

I would have loved to have attended weekly and raised my kids catholic (I tried to return a decade later when pregnant and they wouldn’t allow me to baptize the kids either). I still wish I could go back but I’m done with the Arlington diocese. It has to be the most conservative one in the country. The strangest thing because I’ve had cousins who married non Catholics and were still allowed to take communion and attend.

Name the church and priest or it didn’t happen. They are marrying people where one person is Catholic every weekend in the diocese.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. It was the Arlington diocese treating me terribly when I wanted to marry dh who was a Protestant. The priest flat out said he didn’t want to and needed dh to convert. And when I married him they refused to bless the marriage until he went through rcia. Dh was willing to attend church weekly but he did not want to convert.

I would have loved to have attended weekly and raised my kids catholic (I tried to return a decade later when pregnant and they wouldn’t allow me to baptize the kids either). I still wish I could go back but I’m done with the Arlington diocese. It has to be the most conservative one in the country. The strangest thing because I’ve had cousins who married non Catholics and were still allowed to take communion and attend.

My Catholic mother married a Protestant in 1957 no problem. My Father did convert. He promised to raise kids Catholic. Never an issue.

Funny part my older sister and young sisters were great singers. My older sister even appeared in TV and in every school musical. They sang 9:30 am mass.

My parents including Dad and us kids sat 3rd row left side every mass for 12 years. My dad died at 54.

Here is wild part the Priest who said mass visited Dad a lot when such. But never never ever talked religion. Talked about boxing, baseball, men stuff one hour each week for entire year dying of cancer. Same hour each week.

My Dad called for him his last day to visit. He came and asked for private conversation. Catholic Priest comes to kitchen and tells Mom he asked to be baptized, holy communion, confirmation. . He thinks he will die today. He also wants to be buried in a Catholic cemetery with you. My Mom was shocked. He was a Irish Protestant. Never ever had this come up.

He did it. Around two hours later when whole family there and his brother he got really really bad. Called back Priest did last rites and he died.

My mom and dad piss poor. We were hanging on by a thread. So nothing in it for him. My Mom and him are buried together. When alive was Catholic a few hours. But will be Catholic forever.

BTW my sister married a Methodist and brother a Lutheran no issue in Catholic Church raising kids Catholic

I think this story fake. Why not just go to different Catholic church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. It was the Arlington diocese treating me terribly when I wanted to marry dh who was a Protestant. The priest flat out said he didn’t want to and needed dh to convert. And when I married him they refused to bless the marriage until he went through rcia. Dh was willing to attend church weekly but he did not want to convert.

I would have loved to have attended weekly and raised my kids catholic (I tried to return a decade later when pregnant and they wouldn’t allow me to baptize the kids either). I still wish I could go back but I’m done with the Arlington diocese. It has to be the most conservative one in the country. The strangest thing because I’ve had cousins who married non Catholics and were still allowed to take communion and attend.

If this actually occurred as described, the priest vastly exceeded any legitimate authority he may have had. You should have promptly complained to the pastor (if this was an associate), the bishop (if it was the pastor), the Apostolic nuncio (if the bishop wouldn’t help), and even Rome (probably the Congregation for Clergy). And, as PP’s have pointed out, you might have been able simply to ask at a different parish (although that might require some canonical compliance).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t criticize me for choosing to be a practicing catholic and raising my kids in the faith.

But, if you are a lapsed catholic, is there anything your parents did or did not do that contributed to you wanting to leave the church? I don’t care about any of the issues with the church. I’m well aware of the issues. But, when it came to family devotions, practices, schooling, etc...do you think your parents did or didn’t do anything that factored into your teen/adult thoughts and choices?

I was sexually abused by a relative and they tried to hide it so they could portray the image of the beautiful extended family. Even throughout my life the focus was always on me forgiving him and befriending him rather than protecting me. I had to spend many years after sitting next to him, being alone with him etc. Later I found out my abuser was unhappy in his marriage and wanted to divorce but my parents argued against it which probably led to the abuse. It's further triggering to have found out as an adult that the church itself promoted this behavior with priests and children and then to see other Catholic friends also not support the victims. Then to see them act like they care about unborn babies rather than the babies priests abused is more unforgiving. Then realizing that people are not able healthily to abstain this much from sex and that the entire religion is built on a foundation of giving up your life for some supposed great future life and excusing behavior on earth versus trying to live your best moral life here and manage your earthly desires was another point that turned me away from the church. I saw priests pretend to be celibate but really be gay because they couldn't face their own masculinity and then turn around and tell people that being gay was wrong. Then to see people politicize the religion and act like they were christians while doing majorly unchristian things made the little customs that I liked about the religion turn into weapons as these people paraded this belief that whatever custom they adhered to was more important than being a good person. Basically, one major lapse by my family led to the realization that the entire foundation of the religion was shaky.

Interestingly I still practice the faith in my own way kind of combining jewish secular, and catholic customs and beliefs.
What I couldn't get away from though was the fact that I was worshipping a woman who never had sex but somehow became a mother to all and was a human without sin so nothing like regular women and a man who somehow saved everyone by dying himself and also was without sin. It wasn't an achievable earthly outcome nor did it seem a path to becoming godlike by forsaking the body completely. I couldn't get over that this faith was basically discarding the use and regulation of the goodness and evilness within the human body. I think it relates to why so many Catholics and Christians disregard their lives on earth and make excuses for their behavior. People blame St. Augustine for bringing in the gnostic anti-body traditions, but I think it was present before this. Even communion. Eating the body. By making these people into gods it kind of tricks us into thinking we can also be like them but we are human. Mortal. And we have to contend with our survival and others on earth. So my issues ended up running way beyond just being upset at the church for abuse. I fail to see people living the faith in a way that actually contends with their human needs. They either give into the secretly or refrain from society so much that they can barely interact with it.

what I find so interesting is that Jesus and the Christians expected the end-days were imminent - and it just never happened. So the religion has had to be retooled often. Having read the religion forum for awhile, I can't even tell you what getting into heaven means. There seems to be quite a division of opinion among Christians on this point even today.

I feel like because of this "living" isn't really discussed in the religion which is why there are so many wayward people. You could say living and controlling human nature is covered by the jewish faith books but there really isn't a lot of emphases at least in the catholic church on these and even less in most protestant church teachings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. It was the Arlington diocese treating me terribly when I wanted to marry dh who was a Protestant. The priest flat out said he didn’t want to and needed dh to convert. And when I married him they refused to bless the marriage until he went through rcia. Dh was willing to attend church weekly but he did not want to convert.

I would have loved to have attended weekly and raised my kids catholic (I tried to return a decade later when pregnant and they wouldn’t allow me to baptize the kids either). I still wish I could go back but I’m done with the Arlington diocese. It has to be the most conservative one in the country. The strangest thing because I’ve had cousins who married non Catholics and were still allowed to take communion and attend.

This makes no sense. You must have asked for something other than what the church does for spouses who not of the religion. It happens all the time

What church was this? St. Catherine of Siena? I married my non-Catholic husband in an Arlington diocese church without anyone batting an eye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t criticize me for choosing to be a practicing catholic and raising my kids in the faith.

But, if you are a lapsed catholic, is there anything your parents did or did not do that contributed to you wanting to leave the church? I don’t care about any of the issues with the church. I’m well aware of the issues. But, when it came to family devotions, practices, schooling, etc...do you think your parents did or didn’t do anything that factored into your teen/adult thoughts and choices?

I was sexually abused by a relative and they tried to hide it so they could portray the image of the beautiful extended family. Even throughout my life the focus was always on me forgiving him and befriending him rather than protecting me. I had to spend many years after sitting next to him, being alone with him etc. Later I found out my abuser was unhappy in his marriage and wanted to divorce but my parents argued against it which probably led to the abuse. It's further triggering to have found out as an adult that the church itself promoted this behavior with priests and children and then to see other Catholic friends also not support the victims. Then to see them act like they care about unborn babies rather than the babies priests abused is more unforgiving. Then realizing that people are not able healthily to abstain this much from sex and that the entire religion is built on a foundation of giving up your life for some supposed great future life and excusing behavior on earth versus trying to live your best moral life here and manage your earthly desires was another point that turned me away from the church. I saw priests pretend to be celibate but really be gay because they couldn't face their own masculinity and then turn around and tell people that being gay was wrong. Then to see people politicize the religion and act like they were christians while doing majorly unchristian things made the little customs that I liked about the religion turn into weapons as these people paraded this belief that whatever custom they adhered to was more important than being a good person. Basically, one major lapse by my family led to the realization that the entire foundation of the religion was shaky.

Interestingly I still practice the faith in my own way kind of combining jewish secular, and catholic customs and beliefs.
What I couldn't get away from though was the fact that I was worshipping a woman who never had sex but somehow became a mother to all and was a human without sin so nothing like regular women and a man who somehow saved everyone by dying himself and also was without sin. It wasn't an achievable earthly outcome nor did it seem a path to becoming godlike by forsaking the body completely. I couldn't get over that this faith was basically discarding the use and regulation of the goodness and evilness within the human body. I think it relates to why so many Catholics and Christians disregard their lives on earth and make excuses for their behavior. People blame St. Augustine for bringing in the gnostic anti-body traditions, but I think it was present before this. Even communion. Eating the body. By making these people into gods it kind of tricks us into thinking we can also be like them but we are human. Mortal. And we have to contend with our survival and others on earth. So my issues ended up running way beyond just being upset at the church for abuse. I fail to see people living the faith in a way that actually contends with their human needs. They either give into the secretly or refrain from society so much that they can barely interact with it.

what I find so interesting is that Jesus and the Christians expected the end-days were imminent - and it just never happened. So the religion has had to be retooled often. Having read the religion forum for awhile, I can't even tell you what getting into heaven means. There seems to be quite a division of opinion among Christians on this point even today.

I feel like because of this "living" isn't really discussed in the religion which is why there are so many wayward people. You could say living and controlling human nature is covered by the jewish faith books but there really isn't a lot of emphases at least in the catholic church on these and even less in most protestant church teachings.

The gospels are all about how to live. Love your enemy not just your neighbor, turn the other cheek, don’t amass worldly possessions, don’t worry about dietary rules. So very much on how to live a Christian life.

Also, I’m not Catholic, but why are you singling them out? There are plenty of wayward Jews (Madoff, Epstein, Weinstein for starters) but as a group they’re only 4-5% of the population, so your attempt to fractions of different religions who are “wayward” is laughable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. It was the Arlington diocese treating me terribly when I wanted to marry dh who was a Protestant. The priest flat out said he didn’t want to and needed dh to convert. And when I married him they refused to bless the marriage until he went through rcia. Dh was willing to attend church weekly but he did not want to convert.

I would have loved to have attended weekly and raised my kids catholic (I tried to return a decade later when pregnant and they wouldn’t allow me to baptize the kids either). I still wish I could go back but I’m done with the Arlington diocese. It has to be the most conservative one in the country. The strangest thing because I’ve had cousins who married non Catholics and were still allowed to take communion and attend.

This makes no sense. You must have asked for something other than what the church does for spouses who not of the religion. It happens all the time

It sounds like the PP is saying this may have happened decades ago. But even so, it sounds very odd.

Anyway, PP, you should call up the Arlington Diocese and chat with somebody about it, even now. Lots of nice folks there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t criticize me for choosing to be a practicing catholic and raising my kids in the faith.

But, if you are a lapsed catholic, is there anything your parents did or did not do that contributed to you wanting to leave the church? I don’t care about any of the issues with the church. I’m well aware of the issues. But, when it came to family devotions, practices, schooling, etc...do you think your parents did or didn’t do anything that factored into your teen/adult thoughts and choices?

I was sexually abused by a relative and they tried to hide it so they could portray the image of the beautiful extended family. Even throughout my life the focus was always on me forgiving him and befriending him rather than protecting me. I had to spend many years after sitting next to him, being alone with him etc. Later I found out my abuser was unhappy in his marriage and wanted to divorce but my parents argued against it which probably led to the abuse. It's further triggering to have found out as an adult that the church itself promoted this behavior with priests and children and then to see other Catholic friends also not support the victims. Then to see them act like they care about unborn babies rather than the babies priests abused is more unforgiving. Then realizing that people are not able healthily to abstain this much from sex and that the entire religion is built on a foundation of giving up your life for some supposed great future life and excusing behavior on earth versus trying to live your best moral life here and manage your earthly desires was another point that turned me away from the church. I saw priests pretend to be celibate but really be gay because they couldn't face their own masculinity and then turn around and tell people that being gay was wrong. Then to see people politicize the religion and act like they were christians while doing majorly unchristian things made the little customs that I liked about the religion turn into weapons as these people paraded this belief that whatever custom they adhered to was more important than being a good person. Basically, one major lapse by my family led to the realization that the entire foundation of the religion was shaky.

Interestingly I still practice the faith in my own way kind of combining jewish secular, and catholic customs and beliefs.
What I couldn't get away from though was the fact that I was worshipping a woman who never had sex but somehow became a mother to all and was a human without sin so nothing like regular women and a man who somehow saved everyone by dying himself and also was without sin. It wasn't an achievable earthly outcome nor did it seem a path to becoming godlike by forsaking the body completely. I couldn't get over that this faith was basically discarding the use and regulation of the goodness and evilness within the human body. I think it relates to why so many Catholics and Christians disregard their lives on earth and make excuses for their behavior. People blame St. Augustine for bringing in the gnostic anti-body traditions, but I think it was present before this. Even communion. Eating the body. By making these people into gods it kind of tricks us into thinking we can also be like them but we are human. Mortal. And we have to contend with our survival and others on earth. So my issues ended up running way beyond just being upset at the church for abuse. I fail to see people living the faith in a way that actually contends with their human needs. They either give into the secretly or refrain from society so much that they can barely interact with it.

what I find so interesting is that Jesus and the Christians expected the end-days were imminent - and it just never happened. So the religion has had to be retooled often. Having read the religion forum for awhile, I can't even tell you what getting into heaven means. There seems to be quite a division of opinion among Christians on this point even today.

I feel like because of this "living" isn't really discussed in the religion which is why there are so many wayward people. You could say living and controlling human nature is covered by the jewish faith books but there really isn't a lot of emphases at least in the catholic church on these and even less in most protestant church teachings.

The gospels are all about how to live. Love your enemy not just your neighbor, turn the other cheek, don’t amass worldly possessions, don’t worry about dietary rules. So very much on how to live a Christian life.

Also, I’m not Catholic, but why are you singling them out? There are plenty of wayward Jews (Madoff, Epstein, Weinstein for starters) but as a group they’re only 4-5% of the population, so your attempt to fractions of different religions who are “wayward” is laughable.

wow you just singled out Jews....Nice...

Catholics are 23 % of the population and with SCOTUS about to contol all our lives you might want to rethink your post.
ACB CULT CATHOLIC 1000% not qualified FACT
KAVANAUGH CRIMINAL
Alito liar and a POS
Thomas clearly should have already been removed for violating ethics and trying to over throw the gov of the US with his crap wife GINNI who is a Catholic
Gorsuch
Roberts

need i say more given they are literally going to take away all women's rights? And push religion on this country, whose religion do you all think that is going to be not evangelical LOL

Yes SCOTUS sucks, I’m with you 100% on that.

But your argument that Christians, and you single out Catholics, don’t discuss how to live in the present because they’re waiting for the end days is laughably uninformed. You’ve clearly never attended Sunday School or listened to a sermon.

[Anonymous]

Here is a data point:
In my family there are 6 kids in my generation. All of us went to mass, catechism, and so on. Out of the 6 I was the first to "lapse" when I was a teenager based on reading Carl Sagan and considering myself a serious scientist. Now out of the 6, I am the only one practicing and my kids go to Catholic school. Out of the others, three are basically atheists and two are still believing but don't practice because their spouses are not Christian. So I'm not convinced there's anything you can do to lapse-proof your kids. Just be a good example.

[Anonymous]

PP - sorry that happened to you. Two of my sibs married non-Catholics in a Catholic church. This was 30 years ago.