Single mom by choice-Am I crazy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here.

I haven't seen my cousins since we were about 12. I've certainly never met their children.

Should I also pay my cousin's rent/school loans, etc because they are somehow related to me?

What is specified in the cousin's life insurance and will? How much did she leave for the family member(s) to raise her child(ren)?

What on earth? This has nothing to do with the topic.

I guess you haven't read though the entire thread.

Yes, I did. The topic is should OP have a child on her own. The answer is yes.

[Anonymous]

Haven't read the whole thread. If having on your own, does that mean carrying the child? Unless age 42 vs 45 is a huge difference, wait until your high schooler has college plans in place. Think the drama this will create will not be good for the high schooler --- otherwise, another baby, on your own, sure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if she was married and stable you would have taken them. But since she wasn't you won't?

Way to punish kids for the sins of the parents, but they're probably better off without you anyway

You surely are projecting. If she were married and stable, then the father’s side would have stepped in. But as a single mom by choice, my cousin was excluding the father’s side because she got knocked up by two strangers. So much for “I don’t want to co-parent”. Parenting alone got too much for her and she ended up with a merry go round of boyfriends with the idea that they would marry her and take on the kids. But they had criminal histories and got her involved in petty crime, drugs etc. Shes in prison and even her own mom refused to get involved. Why should I?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adopting a baby by choice is different than abandoning family to foster homes.

Yes. If you are able to take them in it is definitely crummy to abandon to foster care.

I'd think my brother was a jerk if he did that. Our neighbor growing up was a childless, living alone man. His sister a single mom died and left him with 3 little girls. He raised them beautifully. Even fought for the last one in court when her addict dad tried to take her.

Just because his sister made poor decisions. Doesnt mean the kids should be abandoned to strangers. At least with you dl you'd know they weren't getting molested and abused as happens in foster care.

I’m a social worker and I can tell you that kinship care isn’t always the best option.

[Anonymous]

For sure kinship care isn't ALWAYS the best option. But bragging about leaving your relatives to the foster system cuz you don't agree with the parents isn't a good look either. Although i suppose if you do brag about it the kids are lucky anyway. Hope they aren't being molested or abused in foster care

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For sure kinship care isn't ALWAYS the best option. But bragging about leaving your relatives to the foster system cuz you don't agree with the parents isn't a good look either. Although i suppose if you do brag about it the kids are lucky anyway. Hope they aren't being molested or abused in foster care

New poster but what makes someone’s kids more special that they get to avoid foster care than another kid whose not from a relative? So if some 🧬 relative from 23andme says they have a kid they can’t care for, I’m supposed to step in? Genetically speaking, we are all related to each other so what’s so special about a relative’s child? It’s different if it’s your own kid but everyone else’s kid does not interest me.

[Anonymous]

I think you have forgotten what it’s like to care for a young child.
Don’t you have better things to do? Like traveling, going out with friends, reading, watching movies, etc? Shopping when and as long as you like?
Also, no kid wants old parents!

[Anonymous]

Yes don’t you know the stats about single moms? Do you want to raise a statistical criminal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For sure kinship care isn't ALWAYS the best option. But bragging about leaving your relatives to the foster system cuz you don't agree with the parents isn't a good look either. Although i suppose if you do brag about it the kids are lucky anyway. Hope they aren't being molested or abused in foster care

New poster but what makes someone’s kids more special that they get to avoid foster care than another kid whose not from a relative? So if some 🧬 relative from 23andme says they have a kid they can’t care for, I’m supposed to step in? Genetically speaking, we are all related to each other so what’s so special about a relative’s child? It’s different if it’s your own kid but everyone else’s kid does not interest me.

Yeah why should I care about my cousins more than some random stranger? Blood is thicker than water.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a cousin who did what you are thinking of doing and her kid ended up in foster care because I am childfree and have no interest in raising any children. So you need to think carefully if something does happen.

That's really crummy you wouldn't take the kids.

It was crummy for the idiot woman to have a baby, then not want it and expect her relative to take it. Just because you can have babies doesn't mean that you should.

Seems like the whole family is crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a cousin who did what you are thinking of doing and her kid ended up in foster care because I am childfree and have no interest in raising any children. So you need to think carefully if something does happen.

That's really crummy you wouldn't take the kids.

+1
Awful person

I’m a crummy person because I don’t want to be saddled with 2 kids under 5 who were going to be foisted on me just because of shared DNA? What about their deadbeat dads? I wasn’t responsible for their existence. I’m the daughter of a single deadbeat mom myself and I just don’t have rose tinted glasses on. I dealt with my own s*** and never gave anyone else issues. As I told my cousin, it’s easy to make children but not easy to care for them. I know that first hand but she was dumb and got involved with no-Gooder types and went downhill from there. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Ok I take it back, you are not crazy but your family is dysfunctional and I am sorry it happened to you

[Anonymous]

Her family is dysfunctional and part of it is they lack feeling of a sense of family.

I wouldn't approve if my cousin had a baby with an addict, but nor would I leave that child to foster care of I was able to care for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if she was married and stable you would have taken them. But since she wasn't you won't?

Way to punish kids for the sins of the parents, but they're probably better off without you anyway

You surely are projecting. If she were married and stable, then the father’s side would have stepped in. But as a single mom by choice, my cousin was excluding the father’s side because she got knocked up by two strangers. So much for “I don’t want to co-parent”. Parenting alone got too much for her and she ended up with a merry go round of boyfriends with the idea that they would marry her and take on the kids. But they had criminal histories and got her involved in petty crime, drugs etc. Shes in prison and even her own mom refused to get involved. Why should I?

You do it for the kids to give them a better life but in your case they are probably better off with strangers in foster care given you are selfish and uncaring.

[Anonymous]

OP, you will mess up your high school daughter. Dont' do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if she was married and stable you would have taken them. But since she wasn't you won't?

Way to punish kids for the sins of the parents, but they're probably better off without you anyway

You surely are projecting. If she were married and stable, then the father’s side would have stepped in. But as a single mom by choice, my cousin was excluding the father’s side because she got knocked up by two strangers. So much for “I don’t want to co-parent”. Parenting alone got too much for her and she ended up with a merry go round of boyfriends with the idea that they would marry her and take on the kids. But they had criminal histories and got her involved in petty crime, drugs etc. Shes in prison and even her own mom refused to get involved. Why should I?

You do it for the kids to give them a better life but in your case they are probably better off with strangers in foster care given you are selfish and uncaring.

The problem isn’t the PP but that the foster system is broken. Go be a foster parent instead of attacking some stranger on DCUM.