Single mom by choice-Am I crazy?
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Anonymous
| Let me start by saying I’ve been divorced for 8 years. I have a 15 year old and I really want another child. My dating life is nonexistent so I’ve been considering having a baby on my own. I know it’s better to get married first, but I’ve been there, done that. Plus if I wait until I meet the right one, it may be too late. I’m almost 42 so I would like to have a baby with the next year or two. Am I crazy for considering this? |
Anonymous
| If you're going to do the bulk of the work, sure. If you're going to make your teen babysit and fill in as the "second parent", no. It also depends on how much space you have. A newborn that wakes up a teen who's studying/prepping for college is unfair. But that's assuming they live with you. |
Anonymous
| I wouldn’t make my teen babysit, I know it’s not her responsibility. I split 50/50 custody with her dad so she’s with me part of the week. |
Anonymous
| Yes. Get married. Kids need a father figure. |
Anonymous
|
It's actually easier to raise a child without a father as long as you don't need a 2nd income.
People act like men are more helpful then a time/money/energy suck... only because they don't want to admit their H is a time/money/energy suck. Go for it, if you can afford it. |
Anonymous
| Yes. It is awful, do not do it. Plus, what if you die? |
Anonymous
How much space do you have? |
Anonymous
| Yes. Get a dog. |
Anonymous
| You'd better have a sibling who is willing and able to raise your child in the event of your death or incapacitation. What if you're in a car accident - now you're a single wheelchair mom. What if you get laid off - single unemployed mom. What if you get sick? Single bedridden mom. Ever since my wife died (I have two young kids), I realized there are all these things that dual parents take for granted - even divorced parents. When you're divorced, you still have a potential second income and home to support your kids. I don't go scuba diving, I don't go into the city at night, I don't exceed the speed limit anymore. I realized that my kids are one accident away from being sent to a foster home. And that would be terrible. |
Anonymous
Children need a father and that baby will need family outside of you. The only thing I would consider is asking XH if he'd be willing to father another. FWIW, I don't think you're crazy. You need to think this through. What are the implications for your son, you career, your future lifestyle, and the life of that child once you're gone? |
Anonymous
yes. I'm so sorry That happened. Praying for you |
Anonymous
Can you wait until your son is 18? |
Anonymous
She’s already pushing it at 42. This is a really bad idea. |
Anonymous
| I adopted on my own at 40. Life was never better. Daughter is now 20. Best decision ever |
Anonymous
Plus 1 gazillion. At your age, with an almost grown-up kid, yes, you're absolutely insane to be even contemplating a baby on your own. Even if you're loaded. |