Single mom by choice-Am I crazy?

[Anonymous]

Of course you should

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if she was married and stable you would have taken them. But since she wasn't you won't?

Way to punish kids for the sins of the parents, but they're probably better off without you anyway

You surely are projecting. If she were married and stable, then the father’s side would have stepped in. But as a single mom by choice, my cousin was excluding the father’s side because she got knocked up by two strangers. So much for “I don’t want to co-parent”. Parenting alone got too much for her and she ended up with a merry go round of boyfriends with the idea that they would marry her and take on the kids. But they had criminal histories and got her involved in petty crime, drugs etc. Shes in prison and even her own mom refused to get involved. Why should I?

You do it for the kids to give them a better life but in your case they are probably better off with strangers in foster care given you are selfish and uncaring.

The problem isn’t the PP but that the foster system is broken. Go be a foster parent instead of attacking some stranger on DCUM.

NP here. Two things can be true at the same time: the foster system is broken and PP is a horrible, disgusting person. Whether she's a stranger or not has nothing to do with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if she was married and stable you would have taken them. But since she wasn't you won't?

Way to punish kids for the sins of the parents, but they're probably better off without you anyway

You surely are projecting. If she were married and stable, then the father’s side would have stepped in. But as a single mom by choice, my cousin was excluding the father’s side because she got knocked up by two strangers. So much for “I don’t want to co-parent”. Parenting alone got too much for her and she ended up with a merry go round of boyfriends with the idea that they would marry her and take on the kids. But they had criminal histories and got her involved in petty crime, drugs etc. Shes in prison and even her own mom refused to get involved. Why should I?

You do it for the kids to give them a better life but in your case they are probably better off with strangers in foster care given you are selfish and uncaring.

The problem isn’t the PP but that the foster system is broken. Go be a foster parent instead of attacking some stranger on DCUM.

I adopted and worked in the foster care system. Yes, it is broken but that poster is selfish and this has nothing to do with the topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if she was married and stable you would have taken them. But since she wasn't you won't?

Way to punish kids for the sins of the parents, but they're probably better off without you anyway

You surely are projecting. If she were married and stable, then the father’s side would have stepped in. But as a single mom by choice, my cousin was excluding the father’s side because she got knocked up by two strangers. So much for “I don’t want to co-parent”. Parenting alone got too much for her and she ended up with a merry go round of boyfriends with the idea that they would marry her and take on the kids. But they had criminal histories and got her involved in petty crime, drugs etc. Shes in prison and even her own mom refused to get involved. Why should I?

You do it for the kids to give them a better life but in your case they are probably better off with strangers in foster care given you are selfish and uncaring.

The problem isn’t the PP but that the foster system is broken. Go be a foster parent instead of attacking some stranger on DCUM.

I adopted and worked in the foster care system. Yes, it is broken but that poster is selfish and this has nothing to do with the topic.

Yes I agree she is selfish. The least she could do is keep the kids. I am flabbergasted at how cruel people can be on this board- and others brush it off and excuse it. Trash people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if she was married and stable you would have taken them. But since she wasn't you won't?

Way to punish kids for the sins of the parents, but they're probably better off without you anyway

You surely are projecting. If she were married and stable, then the father’s side would have stepped in. But as a single mom by choice, my cousin was excluding the father’s side because she got knocked up by two strangers. So much for “I don’t want to co-parent”. Parenting alone got too much for her and she ended up with a merry go round of boyfriends with the idea that they would marry her and take on the kids. But they had criminal histories and got her involved in petty crime, drugs etc. Shes in prison and even her own mom refused to get involved. Why should I?

You do it for the kids to give them a better life but in your case they are probably better off with strangers in foster care given you are selfish and uncaring.

The problem isn’t the PP but that the foster system is broken. Go be a foster parent instead of attacking some stranger on DCUM.

I adopted and worked in the foster care system. Yes, it is broken but that poster is selfish and this has nothing to do with the topic.

Yes I agree she is selfish. The least she could do is keep the kids. I am flabbergasted at how cruel people can be on this board- and others brush it off and excuse it. Trash people

Why is she responsible for her cousin’s children? There is no reward in being a savior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if she was married and stable you would have taken them. But since she wasn't you won't?

Way to punish kids for the sins of the parents, but they're probably better off without you anyway

You surely are projecting. If she were married and stable, then the father’s side would have stepped in. But as a single mom by choice, my cousin was excluding the father’s side because she got knocked up by two strangers. So much for “I don’t want to co-parent”. Parenting alone got too much for her and she ended up with a merry go round of boyfriends with the idea that they would marry her and take on the kids. But they had criminal histories and got her involved in petty crime, drugs etc. Shes in prison and even her own mom refused to get involved. Why should I?

You do it for the kids to give them a better life but in your case they are probably better off with strangers in foster care given you are selfish and uncaring.

The problem isn’t the PP but that the foster system is broken. Go be a foster parent instead of attacking some stranger on DCUM.

I adopted and worked in the foster care system. Yes, it is broken but that poster is selfish and this has nothing to do with the topic.

Yes I agree she is selfish. The least she could do is keep the kids. I am flabbergasted at how cruel people can be on this board- and others brush it off and excuse it. Trash people

Why is she responsible for her cousin’s children? There is no reward in being a savior.

She's obviously not responsible... she dumped them in foster care. No reward for being a heartless POS either. I just feel bad for those kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who the hell has a baby with no contingency plan in her legal documents/life insurance? ? No way in hell would I take some cousin's baby!

I also think that if the PP were a guy, the comments wouldn’t be so harsh. Like it would be understandable if a guy didn’t want to take his cousins kids, but given that PP is a woman, she’s condemned and vilified and called everything from crummy to selfish.

So, so true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if she was married and stable you would have taken them. But since she wasn't you won't?

Way to punish kids for the sins of the parents, but they're probably better off without you anyway

You surely are projecting. If she were married and stable, then the father’s side would have stepped in. But as a single mom by choice, my cousin was excluding the father’s side because she got knocked up by two strangers. So much for “I don’t want to co-parent”. Parenting alone got too much for her and she ended up with a merry go round of boyfriends with the idea that they would marry her and take on the kids. But they had criminal histories and got her involved in petty crime, drugs etc. Shes in prison and even her own mom refused to get involved. Why should I?

You do it for the kids to give them a better life but in your case they are probably better off with strangers in foster care given you are selfish and uncaring.

The problem isn’t the PP but that the foster system is broken. Go be a foster parent instead of attacking some stranger on DCUM.

I adopted and worked in the foster care system. Yes, it is broken but that poster is selfish and this has nothing to do with the topic.

Yes I agree she is selfish. The least she could do is keep the kids. I am flabbergasted at how cruel people can be on this board- and others brush it off and excuse it. Trash people

Why is she responsible for her cousin’s children? There is no reward in being a savior.

She's obviously not responsible... she dumped them in foster care. No reward for being a heartless POS either. I just feel bad for those kids

It’s unfair to have the responsibility of children placed on you when you didn’t bring them into the world. Perhaps you want to open your Own orphanage to set An example. Why do you feel bad for Only those kids when honestly you should feel bad for all the kids who end up In the system? Why are you a pearl clutcher?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adopting a baby by choice is different than abandoning family to foster homes.

Yes. If you are able to take them in it is definitely crummy to abandon to foster care.

I'd think my brother was a jerk if he did that. Our neighbor growing up was a childless, living alone man. His sister a single mom died and left him with 3 little girls. He raised them beautifully. Even fought for the last one in court when her addict dad tried to take her.

Just because his sister made poor decisions. Doesnt mean the kids should be abandoned to strangers. At least with you dl you'd know they weren't getting molested and abused as happens in foster care.

This.

[Anonymous]

Life isn't fair. But we can be kind. Charity starts at home. You are not a good person if you are bragging about leaving relatives in foster care.

So what if their mom was single and dumb. Would you have wanted to be left to chance because your mom was single and dumb?

Please do not take the kids. Clearly you wouldn't be a good placement anyway. But maybe this is something you should not be bragging about

[Anonymous]

Charity starts at home. If you let your own family starve while being a great philanthropist otherwise, your not a good person.

[Anonymous]

Why did this turn into a Foster Care debate?

[Anonymous]

Our neighbor did this two years ago at 50, and ended up having twins. She had trouble finding affordable childcare, so she sold and moved to a lower cost of living area. She did her job 100% telecommuting, and was recently laid off when Covid started. I think she has to be draining down her equity and/or retirement to take care of them. She is also though very happy being a mother.

Honestly in her situation I think it is unfair to the children because I don't think she has anyone lined to that would take them, and Covid has made me very aware of these issues. Also, she had a standard white collar job, but she has pretty much ruined herself financially. I could not have a child with that much uncertainty, but as I said she is very happy being a mother.

[Anonymous]

Too many of you don't get that people who don't want kids don't want kids.

I won't tell you to get an abortion, so don't think your kids will live with me if the worst happens. Prepare for something awful happening and find someone who WANTS them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me start by saying I’ve been divorced for 8 years. I have a 15 year old and I really want another child. My dating life is nonexistent so I’ve been considering having a baby on my own. I know it’s better to get married first, but I’ve been there, done that. Plus if I wait until I meet the right one, it may be too late. I’m almost 42 so I would like to have a baby with the next year or two. Am I crazy for considering this?

Are you crazy? I don't know but it is irresponsible to and stupid to have a child without a committed partner. Also, 42 is too old nomatter what anyone says.

Says who? I have two grandmothers who had kids in their 40s.

Not their first kids, I’d bet.

This would be her second. I would advise against having a baby There must be other things in your life that you can see doing or accomplishing?