I want to move due to resentment of neighbors and DH thinks I'm being crazy.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are w-a-y too immersed in this. You need to focus on your daughter and creating a life for her separate from the neighbor. No good can come from your obsession. You are teaching your daughter to be a victim.

[Anonymous]

You should be ENCOURAGING her to be friends with the girl next door, not mad about it. It's healthy to have intense friendships at that age. If it crashes and burns- well, that's part of life. But it's nice that the extroverted, popular girl you describe is actually including your introvert daughter. I wonder if you are more of an introvert yourself, and feel like this family of more successful people has "stolen" your daughter cause you wanted her to turn out miserable like you?

[Anonymous]

Jesus OP. By your own admission you arent particularly close with your neighbors and now you're mad that they formed a pod with other people? Your daughter is old enough to understand this pandemic and why there is exclusion related to pods. It's not personal.

[Anonymous]

In about ten years your daughter will be on here posting asking for advice about how to deal with her narcissistic and controlling mom who ruined a close friendship she had out of envy and jealousy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should be ENCOURAGING her to be friends with the girl next door, not mad about it. It's healthy to have intense friendships at that age. If it crashes and burns- well, that's part of life. But it's nice that the extroverted, popular girl you describe is actually including your introvert daughter. I wonder if you are more of an introvert yourself, and feel like this family of more successful people has "stolen" your daughter cause you wanted her to turn out miserable like you?

Are you for real?

[Anonymous]

I feel for you, OP. And I get why you’d want to move. I would not want to live next door to that or see my DD have to go through that. People saying to just get over your insecurities aren’t being realistic. It’s not that easy. And your DD might be happier not living next to someone who she reacts to like that. I say move!

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand how your life would be much worse if you are neighbors, obviously you are both in the same fancy neighborhood given how successful and the money you said they have

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In about ten years your daughter will be on here posting asking for advice about how to deal with her narcissistic and controlling mom who ruined a close friendship she had out of envy and jealousy.

I don't find OP to be narcissistic and controlling.

She seems to have an anxiety issue and possibly a paranoid personality though. OP, see a medical professional, not a therapist. You likely need meds and a diagnosis

[Anonymous]

Some of the advice here is pointlessly cruel, so ignore it and realize the people giving it have their own baggage.

It's hard to watch someone else's social life play out in front of your own, and to feel exclusion on behalf of your child, if those are real issues for you as well.
Cultivate your own friends and interests. Encourage DD to do the same. Realize that everything is temporary. Friendships grow and change. Nothing is forever, and the kid who is the Queen Bee today might not be in the long run.

[Anonymous]

People are acting like moving is the craziest thing in the world, yet people move all the time for all kinds of reasons. If there's nothing unique about the home or location, why not move? OP doesn't strike me as the type of person who is going to run into this situation again and again - she's come this far without having to move because of a neighbor. This is harder on the daughter than it is on OP. If I were in OP's shoes, I'd move.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, I had friends who I thought were the “Golden Couple” — gorgeous, rich, beautiful kids — until the Mom went away to rehab. You never know what is going on in someone else’s life.


So true. Everyone has problems. Just be pleasant to them. Stop inviting them to do stuff with you. Redirect your daughter to other friendships. And tell her that life is too short to hang out with people who are mean to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you just going to keep moving until you're surrounded by losers on all sides? Seems like an odd strategy.

Hahahahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of the advice here is pointlessly cruel, so ignore it and realize the people giving it have their own baggage.

It's hard to watch someone else's social life play out in front of your own, and to feel exclusion on behalf of your child, if those are real issues for you as well.
Cultivate your own friends and interests. Encourage DD to do the same. Realize that everything is temporary. Friendships grow and change. Nothing is forever, and the kid who is the Queen Bee today might not be in the long run.

+1

Specially the first part!

[Anonymous]

There’s always going to be a more popular girl or a mean girl. Start talking with your daughter or send her to a therapist if you can’t manage it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live next door to a family that I have quietly envied since they moved in five years ago.
They have kids my children's age.
The wife is perfect: gorgeous, friendly, successful, Manhattan-bred. She works for herself, so she's at home a lot, and also has a trust fund (which I learned by Googling her maiden name and learning about her family...and NYT wedding coverage...).
Her husband is this super down-to-earth but Ivy League guy. Very affable. They are just a Golden Couple. They seem to have everything.
The issue is mainly with my daughter: Their kids are popular and outgoing. Mine are shy and more introverted. Lately the girl next door has been including and then excluding my own daughter -- drawing her into the circle but then cattily turning her out. It breaks my heart. She will ask her over, then have another girl over too and they'll ignore her. My daughter rubs over there like a puppy.
Meanwhile the parents just seem to have this picture-perfect life: fancy jobs, money, summer house, looks, etc. And they're not fake; I believe they truly are happy. And they are not snobby.
But the issue with my daughter is pushing me over the edge. I know the envy is silly and I am in therapy about it. I talk about it a lot and am working on ways to feel better about my own life. But now it's affecting my kid. She wants this girl's approval so much, lives or dies by whether she includes her in things, sees her playing next door with other girls and feels left out, etc.

I encourage her own interests and friendships, but inside it's eating me up. I say NOTHING to my kid bc I don't want my own envy issues getting to her, so I vent to DH and therapist and DH doesn't get it. I would like to move and just not deal with the Perfect Family any longer. DH thinks that's absolutely insane.
Help?

The family you describe always live in multi-million dollar main residence in a posh neighborhood. Yet you're allegedly their piker middle class neighbors? Sorry, I don't buy this.