Neighbors daughter peed on my couch :(

[Anonymous]

Am I the only person who can't believe OP didn't say anything about the child having a wet bottom? You didn't ask her what happened and if she needed a change of clothes? That's pretty unkind.

[Anonymous]

I would not say anything. One time when my son was 5 he had an accident in his pants(#2), not the norm, while at a friends house. We had been there too talking to the parents and of course he went to the bathroom by himself without mentioning it (it was a minor accident) so I knew nothing about it.
We got a call from the mom as we were driving home who made a big deal about how awkward it was but she just felt she needed to tell me that she found his dirty undies in the bathroom trash can. We never hung out with them again because she made such a big deal about it and was so weird about it. He was 5. Things happen, and frankly at the time I was impressed he handled it all by himself and thought to throw them away.
That said, if it happens AGAIN I would just say “Hey I don’t know if this has been happening at home but Susie has been having trouble making into the bathroom in time. Just FYI in case she has a bladder infection or something.”

[Anonymous]

And yes, if it happens again I would definitely ask if she needs a change of clothes without saying why. Be kind and don’t make her feel bad but help the child!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not say anything. One time when my son was 5 he had an accident in his pants(#2), not the norm, while at a friends house. We had been there too talking to the parents and of course he went to the bathroom by himself without mentioning it (it was a minor accident) so I knew nothing about it.
We got a call from the mom as we were driving home who made a big deal about how awkward it was but she just felt she needed to tell me that she found his dirty undies in the bathroom trash can. We never hung out with them again because she made such a big deal about it and was so weird about it. He was 5. Things happen, and frankly at the time I was impressed he handled it all by himself and thought to throw them away.
That said, if it happens AGAIN I would just say “Hey I don’t know if this has been happening at home but Susie has been having trouble making into the bathroom in time. Just FYI in case she has a bladder infection or something.”

That is impressive. He likely just didnt know not to leave something like that in the trash. I would let the parents know but in a casual way. I'm sure the little girl is embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

The girl does not care. She is 6.

Mark my words, when she gets comfy and spends more time at your house, she will take a big shit on your fancy couch.

That will leave a stain and you can always remember her for years to come and smile fondly while you sip your earl grey tea and look at the trees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand all the “say nothings.” I would definitely want to know if one of my kids had a substantial accident all over someone’s couch.

+1 her parents need to know that she's have serious accidents.

[Anonymous]

Why didn’t the parents either notice their kid was soaking wet and/or smelled like urine when she got home?

[Anonymous]

(Cont) and then reach out to OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened to us a couple of years ago when we watched DS' friend after school every day. We just built in "breaks" for everyone to use the bathroom, get a drink, etc. He never had an accident again and no one knew about the initial one

As a primary elementary school teacher this is the best way to do this. FYI, teachers often take the entire class to the bathroom in young grades so everyone can go at the same time so that no one is worried about being left out of anything or having an embarrassing accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to us a couple of years ago when we watched DS' friend after school every day. We just built in "breaks" for everyone to use the bathroom, get a drink, etc. He never had an accident again and no one knew about the initial one

As a primary elementary school teacher this is the best way to do this. FYI, teachers often take the entire class to the bathroom in young grades so everyone can go at the same time so that no one is worried about being left out of anything or having an embarrassing accident.

You bumped an ancient thread to give bad advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course you mention it at pick up time. I'd find it weird if my child came home wet or with pee smelling clothes and you DIDN'T say anything. That would be more embarrassing for me, and frankly I'd worry about our relationship and sharing childcare in the future if you can't just be chill and open about things like this.

Since that ship has sailed but you are planning on hosting again, just say, "hey, I forgot to mention it, but Larla had an accident yesterday. Do you have tips for reminding her to go throughout the day? Can you send a spare outfit next time just in case. Thanks!"

I was thinking the same thing, how does one not mention it to the parent?! She had a wet bottom, and she just let her sit in it?!

I was the kid with an overactive bladder along with seizures. I had many “many” accidents before I was properly diagnosed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Poor child! This is not normal. I would mention it to the parents to ask how to handle things going forward. For example, is suggesting she use the bathroom every 2 hours helpful? I would also tell them she needs to be seen by her pediatrician.

The parents already know, though. They already warmed OP. That was the time to ask how to handle it.

It is not OPs place to tell them it’s not normal and that their daughter should see a pediatrician. They already know that. OP I would actually mention it but in a kind constructive way. Tell the parents what happened and if they have any ideas of how you can make their daughter more comfortable so that she can let you know when she had an accident. It’s important to involve the parents in this - I certainly wouldn’t want my daughter to be sitting in wet clothes all day because she was too embarrassed to say anything Also brainstorm solutions together - would frequent bathroom breaks work? Perhaps child can have a secret sign that she can make if she gets into an accident? Or come to OP and whisper that she’s had an accident? Also parents should bring a change of clothes just in case. It’s a stressful time for us all and we need to have each other’s back!