Why do so many people not do their spouse’s laundry?

[Anonymous]

It is very inefficient and wastes a lot of water and energy if every person is doing their own laundry- that is a ton of partial loads.

I combine all the clothes for all 5 of us, separate colors and fabrics and wash full loads of darks, whites, reds, jeans, etc. I can't imagine every person doing their own. That sounds ridiculous.

And no one do I want DH touching my clothes. I have a lot of clothes that require hand washing, line drying, or delicate. Stuff would get ruined for sure if he did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is very inefficient and wastes a lot of water and energy if every person is doing their own laundry- that is a ton of partial loads.

I combine all the clothes for all 5 of us, separate colors and fabrics and wash full loads of darks, whites, reds, jeans, etc. I can't imagine every person doing their own. That sounds ridiculous.

And no one do I want DH touching my clothes. I have a lot of clothes that require hand washing, line drying, or delicate. Stuff would get ruined for sure if he did it.

We have full loads while doing our own laundry. Said laundry is folded and put away in one spot, versus all over the house.

But I agree that my husband wouldn't hand wash my clothes, nor would I expect him too. He does line dry, but my teens prefer to use the dryer. I don't care, as it's theirs to handle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do the entire family's laundry. Recently my DH decided he wanted his things folded in a special way - I think this came form some marie kondo video he watched on organizing your drawers. I was not interesting in changing how I fold so his clean laundry is left laid out in a pile on his side of the bed for him to fold on Sunday evenings.

This is another reason we started separating our laundry. I use Marie Kondo method, he does not. He would pile my laundry on my side of the bed on Sunday evenings, and it would make me livid. I have a wind down Sunday evening routine. I'd come out of the bathroom in a great mood to find a pile of my laundry waiting for me. I'd rather manage my own laundry and time, so that I have the energy to properly put it away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do the entire family's laundry. Recently my DH decided he wanted his things folded in a special way - I think this came form some marie kondo video he watched on organizing your drawers. I was not interesting in changing how I fold so his clean laundry is left laid out in a pile on his side of the bed for him to fold on Sunday evenings.

This is another reason we started separating our laundry. I use Marie Kondo method, he does not. He would pile my laundry on my side of the bed on Sunday evenings, and it would make me livid. I have a wind down Sunday evening routine. I'd come out of the bathroom in a great mood to find a pile of my laundry waiting for me. I'd rather manage my own laundry and time, so that I have the energy to properly put it away.

Yes, we can all wash/fold ourselves according to our own preferences and not worry about sorting it all out (how annoying).

Everyone has 1-2 loads of clothes per week plus bedding.

We are all capable and there are no economies of scale for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This all seems insane to me! I would never do my husband’s laundry! What an antiquated, chauvinistic idea you all are perpetuating! He’s a grown man who needs to take responsibility for his own belongings — and that includes keeping himself, his space, his clothing and other items clean and orderly in our shared household. I already have the burden of most of the household tasks due to the fact that everyone assumes that women must take care of these types of chores. It’s a full-time job just to push back and make others who live in the household, including teenagers, take on these shared responsibilities! Why on earth would I need to take care of a fully-functioning adult’s clothing. How would that work anyway? I’d return home from a full day’s work or spend my weekend time lugging my full load of the week’s laundry, the household’s load of dirty sheets and towels, our 11-year-old son’s clothing...and my grown-a@@ husband’s heavy load as well! And what’s he doing? Watching TV, lounging, or waiting for his meal to be prepared by his dutiful wife!?! Is this the 1960s? Wow!!!

That sounds like a YOU problem. My husband vacuums, mops the floors, does the dishes, cooks, cleans the kitchen, dusts, and does a million other things around the house. I do all the laundry because I'm better at it and I don't mind it as much as he does. He can and will do it sometimes, but mostly it's something I do. We both work full-time and are anything but antiquated or chauvinist. You sound off your rocker, to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have separate hampers, yes. But we also do our laundry differently. My husband doesn’t use fabric softener, dries his clothes on a different setting, and even folds his clothes differently. Like another PP said, I wouldn’t trust him to know how to treat my different fabrics or delicates. Plus, it’s usually just something an adult handles on their own? Like, making their own breakfast or lunch...I don’t generally do that for my husband either.

This is odd to me. Do you never eat the same things? If we're both eating leftovers, either of us will reheat two plates rather than both of us doing the same thing because it's more efficient for one person to do it. If we've having something from scratch, one of us will make the meal. It's not that either of us is unable to make breakfast or lunch, it's that it's usually more effective for one person to do it. But we both do it, so it's not like it's all on me, the wife. Actually it's probably more on him. It doesn't make us any less of adults because we have someone making a meal for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because he's a grown man and not a child.

This is a stupid argument. I'm a grown women and yet my husband made me dinner last night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We both work FT , same amount of hours. Why should the laundry default to me? We have separate hampers. I do mine, DDs plus towels, sheets etc.

You realize that people can have equal partnerships even if it means one person does all of one thing and the other person does all of another thing, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We both work FT , same amount of hours. Why should the laundry default to me? We have separate hampers. I do mine, DDs plus towels, sheets etc.

You realize that people can have equal partnerships even if it means one person does all of one thing and the other person does all of another thing, right?

Also, why should your daughter's laundry default to you? You kind of ruined your own point there...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because he's a grown man and not a child.

This is a stupid argument. I'm a grown women and yet my husband made me dinner last night.

Dinner and laundry are not remotely the same.

That said, we all take turns cooking (teenage kids included).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because he's a grown man and not a child.

This is a stupid argument. I'm a grown women and yet my husband made me dinner last night.

What about breakfast and lunch? Snacks? Did he get you every drink during the day?

It's a false equivalence.

[Anonymous]

I do my spouse's laundry. Why? I enjoy doing basic housework (laundry, vacuuming, dishes) and feel I do a pretty decent job of it.
Signed,
Husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because he's a grown man and not a child.

This is a stupid argument. I'm a grown women and yet my husband made me dinner last night.

What about breakfast and lunch? Snacks? Did he get you every drink during the day?

It's a false equivalence.

Actually, yesterday he made me breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and brought me a drink to the table for each meal. Your false equivalence point makes no sense. The poster at the top said that her husband does his own laundry because he's a grown man. That doesn't make any sense, and the fact that my husband doesn't do his own laundry doesn't have anything to do with him not being a grown up. I don't know why you people are getting so riled up about this. It seems like the people who don't do their spouse's laundry are super defensive about why, which is interesting.

[Anonymous]

I don't do my H laundry and yes he has his own basket.

I do 2 loads a week for myself, one regular and one delicate. If he has a delicate he puts it in my basket.

I don't do his laundry because he is an adult and he can do his own. I cook dinner because it is efficient to cook dinner for a family. I don't make his lunch or breakfast, because I eat something different.

I don't see why a grown person wouldn't do their own.

My kids start doing their laundry when they turn 16.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't do my H laundry and yes he has his own basket.

I do 2 loads a week for myself, one regular and one delicate. If he has a delicate he puts it in my basket.

I don't do his laundry because he is an adult and he can do his own. I cook dinner because it is efficient to cook dinner for a family. I don't make his lunch or breakfast, because I eat something different.

I don't see why a grown person wouldn't do their own.

My kids start doing their laundry when they turn 16.

Why'd you wait so long?

I'll do my husband's laundry ... he does mine, too.