St Albans for black students

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if the kid was a lifer like the victim, it should still not be tolerated.

I totally agree. I just found that fact additionally appalling.

[Anonymous]

The whole thing is shameful.

[Anonymous]

I would think it would have more to do with the family, than their race. Will the values of the school be in line with the families? Of course that is a question for all families, of course. But I agree with a PP, what is the percentage of African American students at StA? If you get a spot could could ask some of the current AA families their experience?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I agree with people's concerns about representations of African American men in the faculty at STA, you also have to acknowledge the reality of the situation. All of the studies i'm familiar with show that 2-4% of teachers are black men.

#Excuses

If other schools can find them, why can’t STA? Going further, how many African American women teach full-time at STA?

Coaches and support staff can only do so much in providing an equitable environment for African American boys. Ask the boys who left.

Are there no teachers at the Bishop Walker School qualified to teach 4th grade boys at STA?

I can think of five black women who teach at STA. I can't think of any black men, aside from coaches.

Fwiw, STA has long resisted "affinity groups," including a BSU, but is about to launch several. (They have had ally groups for students of color, LBGTQ, etc., but not groups to which only members with the target identity can belong.)

After a exodus of students they decided to wake up. So much for the ‘brotherhood’.

I’d give it a few years and see if they revert to their old ways. More than likely they will after the PR/public discourse goes away. #ProtectTheBrand

We know several families that left and they made it clear that they liked STA teachers and the administration. They did have issue with many of the families in the community, particularly the increase in families that supported Trump and his policies, as well as an increase of families within the same social group.

I am not black and this in a reason we will not apply for our sporty, academically motivated son. There seems to be some hate hidden away in that community. I can’t abide people who support Trump, and I come from a family that supported Regan and Bush Sr.
There is simply a line. Trump has crossed it and if there a numerous families that support him openly that is not an environment I want for my son, regardless of what race he is.

[Anonymous]

I am the poster whose son was victimized. We are by no means helicopter parents and my son by no means a victim. He had endured the situation for 9 months and said nothing. We later learned he went to school in terror everyday. He had always heard racial slurs bandied about but, he said, he just rolled with it as all the black boys do. Even the school admitted they’d come across incidents of racism but that my son’s case was by far the worst they had seen.
And I found out quite by chance. I was sick when I found out, scared out of my wits and felt so much pain for my son who had not known how to handle what was happening. He was scared as it got progressively worse but he didn’t not feel it was right given the rules they live by -“For the Boys” or was too scared (not sure now) to break ranks. He was not sure if telling someone would make things worse. He thought about going to the dean at the time because the physical abuse was getting worse but was still thinking about it, he said, when, just by some random turn of events, I found out. When we found out he was 60% relieved that now we know and 40% scared about what the fall out would be.
You see, he knew the school better than we did and he was right to be scared. We feel stupid for expecting the school to do the right thing. I remember his saying when it was all happening-I knew it would be like this. I knew they would try to play this down. I will end up losing my friends and nothing will be done. It was a nightmare and the truth of what happened is still not known to many people and those who know will never say anything.
What I will say is that the majority of the boys who knew what was going on during those 9 months knew only about the verbal abuse and they tried, as best as boys that age could, to stop it.
My dilemma is this: I know a great injustice has been done I know no one else should have to go through this and they will and this is my biggest motivation to bring this out into the open. However fighting such a system is hard. Will it get harder for him in the school’s effort to fight what is revealed? My son has been “punished” for inadvertently bringing a side of the school to light that they would rather not be exposed. I cannot wait for him to leave. He went through a lot of humiliation from the school and at one point it almost felt like he was the perpetrator -it was sickening. I can imagine how rape victims who are partly blamed simply because they are women feel and this is even worse in a way because there was no “he said she said”. The evidence was/is there in black and white and yet they tried to diminish it. How do you diminish a threat to dispose of someone because they are a “Nword” who is too uppity (their words)? But they did. And that is just the tip of the iceberg.
My other problem is the boy who did this. Is this something he continues to do or was it something he is now ashamed of and is truly sorry about? Should he have consequences that will definitely impact the rest of his life - no good university will accept him if this is public -(think the Harvard boy whose acceptance was withdrawn)? This is worse. Should I, with children of my own bring this upon another child? Yet how would I avoid this if I bring this to light publicly?
I just don’t know.
And the fall out continues for my son even outside what is happening at school. He is a different person whose eyes were opened to the reality of racism and the difficulty of really fighting it and being vindicated, by a system that is supposed to protect him. For which we pay $50k a year.

[Anonymous]

Someone on this thread is bat crazy and certainly not paying $50k at St Albans.

[Anonymous]

Wow, now people on DCUM are calling the mother of the victim "bat crazy"?!? What is wrong with you people?!? Completely shocking and disgusting behavior.

[Anonymous]

Blaming the victim and brushing it under the rug seems to be norm here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster whose son was victimized. We are by no means helicopter parents and my son by no means a victim. He had endured the situation for 9 months and said nothing. We later learned he went to school in terror everyday. He had always heard racial slurs bandied about but, he said, he just rolled with it as all the black boys do. Even the school admitted they’d come across incidents of racism but that my son’s case was by far the worst they had seen.
And I found out quite by chance. I was sick when I found out, scared out of my wits and felt so much pain for my son who had not known how to handle what was happening. He was scared as it got progressively worse but he didn’t not feel it was right given the rules they live by -“For the Boys” or was too scared (not sure now) to break ranks. He was not sure if telling someone would make things worse. He thought about going to the dean at the time because the physical abuse was getting worse but was still thinking about it, he said, when, just by some random turn of events, I found out. When we found out he was 60% relieved that now we know and 40% scared about what the fall out would be.
You see, he knew the school better than we did and he was right to be scared. We feel stupid for expecting the school to do the right thing. I remember his saying when it was all happening-I knew it would be like this. I knew they would try to play this down. I will end up losing my friends and nothing will be done. It was a nightmare and the truth of what happened is still not known to many people and those who know will never say anything.
What I will say is that the majority of the boys who knew what was going on during those 9 months knew only about the verbal abuse and they tried, as best as boys that age could, to stop it.
My dilemma is this: I know a great injustice has been done I know no one else should have to go through this and they will and this is my biggest motivation to bring this out into the open. However fighting such a system is hard. Will it get harder for him in the school’s effort to fight what is revealed? My son has been “punished” for inadvertently bringing a side of the school to light that they would rather not be exposed. I cannot wait for him to leave. He went through a lot of humiliation from the school and at one point it almost felt like he was the perpetrator -it was sickening. I can imagine how rape victims who are partly blamed simply because they are women feel and this is even worse in a way because there was no “he said she said”. The evidence was/is there in black and white and yet they tried to diminish it. How do you diminish a threat to dispose of someone because they are a “Nword” who is too uppity (their words)? But they did. And that is just the tip of the iceberg.
My other problem is the boy who did this. Is this something he continues to do or was it something he is now ashamed of and is truly sorry about? Should he have consequences that will definitely impact the rest of his life - no good university will accept him if this is public -(think the Harvard boy whose acceptance was withdrawn)? This is worse. Should I, with children of my own bring this upon another child? Yet how would I avoid this if I bring this to light publicly?
I just don’t know.
And the fall out continues for my son even outside what is happening at school. He is a different person whose eyes were opened to the reality of racism and the difficulty of really fighting it and being vindicated, by a system that is supposed to protect him. For which we pay $50k a year.

Listen it is one thing to be verbally abused, but don’t EVER allow your son to take any physical abuse from those people. Make sure he knows how to defend himself and if he doesn’t, make sure he learns to. I have a kid who was being bullied in kindergarten. The school knew, the other kids parents knew, and didn’t put a stop to it. My son thought he would get in trouble and was scared to fight back so I caught the other boy’s father at his bus stop waiting for his kid and beat the brakes off him. Miraculously the bullying stops.
And if your son gets put put out of Saint Albans for defending himself, f Saint Albans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone on this thread is bat crazy and certainly not paying $50k at St Albans.

boo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster whose son was victimized. We are by no means helicopter parents and my son by no means a victim. He had endured the situation for 9 months and said nothing. We later learned he went to school in terror everyday. He had always heard racial slurs bandied about but, he said, he just rolled with it as all the black boys do. Even the school admitted they’d come across incidents of racism but that my son’s case was by far the worst they had seen.
And I found out quite by chance. I was sick when I found out, scared out of my wits and felt so much pain for my son who had not known how to handle what was happening. He was scared as it got progressively worse but he didn’t not feel it was right given the rules they live by -“For the Boys” or was too scared (not sure now) to break ranks. He was not sure if telling someone would make things worse. He thought about going to the dean at the time because the physical abuse was getting worse but was still thinking about it, he said, when, just by some random turn of events, I found out. When we found out he was 60% relieved that now we know and 40% scared about what the fall out would be.
You see, he knew the school better than we did and he was right to be scared. We feel stupid for expecting the school to do the right thing. I remember his saying when it was all happening-I knew it would be like this. I knew they would try to play this down. I will end up losing my friends and nothing will be done. It was a nightmare and the truth of what happened is still not known to many people and those who know will never say anything.
What I will say is that the majority of the boys who knew what was going on during those 9 months knew only about the verbal abuse and they tried, as best as boys that age could, to stop it.
My dilemma is this: I know a great injustice has been done I know no one else should have to go through this and they will and this is my biggest motivation to bring this out into the open. However fighting such a system is hard. Will it get harder for him in the school’s effort to fight what is revealed? My son has been “punished” for inadvertently bringing a side of the school to light that they would rather not be exposed. I cannot wait for him to leave. He went through a lot of humiliation from the school and at one point it almost felt like he was the perpetrator -it was sickening. I can imagine how rape victims who are partly blamed simply because they are women feel and this is even worse in a way because there was no “he said she said”. The evidence was/is there in black and white and yet they tried to diminish it. How do you diminish a threat to dispose of someone because they are a “Nword” who is too uppity (their words)? But they did. And that is just the tip of the iceberg.
My other problem is the boy who did this. Is this something he continues to do or was it something he is now ashamed of and is truly sorry about? Should he have consequences that will definitely impact the rest of his life - no good university will accept him if this is public -(think the Harvard boy whose acceptance was withdrawn)? This is worse. Should I, with children of my own bring this upon another child? Yet how would I avoid this if I bring this to light publicly?
I just don’t know.
And the fall out continues for my son even outside what is happening at school. He is a different person whose eyes were opened to the reality of racism and the difficulty of really fighting it and being vindicated, by a system that is supposed to protect him. For which we pay $50k a year.

Consequences would be good for the perpetrator too. He needs to understand that you can't just say anything to anyone and get away with it. He will learn that, perhaps in harsher way, soon enough. It sounds to me like you already know what you should do. Don't stand for unacceptable behavior, ESPCIALLY from adults! And if someone is getting physical with him and it's not addressed, then he needs to fight back... physically. Bullies thrive on knowledge that their victims won't fight back. You have to take that away from them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, now people on DCUM are calling the mother of the victim "bat crazy"?!? What is wrong with you people?!? Completely shocking and disgusting behavior.

There is zero evidence that said poster is the mother of an actual student there.

On the contrary, there's enough evidence to suggest s/he is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am saddened by the experiences the PP and her son have had to endure. I am also a little put off by the last poster's response, especially the one suggesting the mother is a "helicopter" parent and her child is a "delicate flower" that could develop a "victimization complex". Is that how we respond to victims? Sorry your daughter was raped, but maybe you shouldn't be a helicopter mom and your child shouldn't be such a delicate flower so they don't get a victimization complex. Really?!? To make things worse, the pp suggest the poster stand up for her son and take action against the school, but then ends by stating she still plans to send her son to STA. Wow, she couldn't have given the pp a bigger middle finger.

I feel badly that this student had to endure any kind of racism and abuse in the first place and then to add insult to injury they also had to deal with the administration and their inadequate handling of the situation (furthering the racism). I also understand the conflict of the child not wanting to leave the only school system and friends he has know his whole life. That can be incredibility difficult for a child. You love it and you hate it all at once. Kind of like an abusive parent that the child still loves and does not want to leave. Very sad and I am sorry for your family's pain.

PP, not what I meant. And there was no middle finger to anyone. I completely sympathize with PP.

What I meant, and perhaps you don't know this personally, but as a black person that has grown up in a nearly all white, upper-class environment with similar racist experiences as the one described above (to be clear, most people are not like this but the ones that are let it be known), including physicality, name calling, denied access, stereotyping, etc., I am keenly aware of the balance one needs to strike between standing up for oneself and letting some thing go because if I spent all my day talking about or acting on unfair race-based treatment, it's all I'd do. I'm not saying that PP IS a helicopter parent or that the kid IS a delicate flower, I'm saying that you want to be careful not to become those things, because they are damaging in their own right and the world isn't going to stop and comfort you because some jerk calls you a Nword.

And my decision to fight for what I believe I deserve is just a way of life, again, as a black person dealing with this society and all the nonsense we have to go through. Maybe that mentality is not for you or maybe you haven't had to be that way, but most black folks that I know have a similar ethic out of necessity. The world isn't fair. You have to be good and then demand the same. Why would I shy away from an elite education for my son because racism exist at STA? Guess what, racism exists at ALL these schools. But what doesn't exist is the elite education and sense of pride someone has after they finish. No, I'll take that and demand respect.

[Anonymous]

To wrongs don’t make a right. Getting violent is not the answer and may just result in the victim being kicked out. Go to the headmaster with your complaints/concerns and if still not satisfied with response then maybe go to the press, that seems to have made people finally pay attention in the past (2015 yearbook and 2014 sexual misconduct towards NCS students).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, now people on DCUM are calling the mother of the victim "bat crazy"?!? What is wrong with you people?!? Completely shocking and disgusting behavior.

There is zero evidence that said poster is the mother of an actual student there.

On the contrary, there's enough evidence to suggest s/he is not.

Not sure, but definitely something doesn’t ring true.