St Albans for black students

[Anonymous]

Last year’s 8th grade did have an unusually large number of ccc members for a grade, other grades in lower school have less. Don’t know about high school, but would think less too. Also high school kids are so busy and parents aren’t involved in their social lives, so I don’t see how a country club membership would change things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll probably get my post deleted for this, but sta would be much better off culturally if they severely curtailed the number of ccc families. Some are very nice. Some even stay nice. But there’s something about the place—it’s like they become conditioned to treat others poorly, look down on anyone who is not a member, and practice exclusion by default.

My parents are members. Even they have said they don’t like what it is now. I know of what I speak.

You may, but seems like a really slippery slope (and unfeasible frankly) to 'curtail' people based on memberships. Where do you draw the line?. I also think we should try to remember that parents and their kids are not always identical spores. Why not chase up a different tree. I'm sure there are other ways to make St. Albans better for black students.

There are many ways to make it better. Admitting more diverse facilities would help. Ccc doesn’t have diversity. Admitting more diverse families would naturally mean less room for ccc board members or whomever to bring in all their golfing buddies.

I am certain there are St. Albans families who are members of other clubs. you know what they all have in common that isn't that diverse in the grand scheme of our city? $$$. Again, where do you draw the line? you seem fine with clubs as long as you choose the membership, but you probably have your own blind spots.

[Anonymous]

You might not want to send your child to private in DC if you have this much of a problem with CCC. At GDS there are cliques if Jewish CCC members and synagogue cliques. If you are not Jewish you are out. The same can be said for Maret and Sidwell. You also have Congressional parent cliques to contend with as well as neighborhood cliques. Kids that live near each other hangout formally and informally and parents encourage those friendships. Honestly, I am not sure there is a private school in DC that a black family would not feel like an outsider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last year’s 8th grade did have an unusually large number of ccc members for a grade, other grades in lower school have less. Don’t know about high school, but would think less too. Also high school kids are so busy and parents aren’t involved in their social lives, so I don’t see how a country club membership would change things.

Someone really has a thing about the 8th grade class. Every thread about STA they come in and make a post no matter what the thread is about.

Getting a bit stalker-level creepy to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year’s 8th grade did have an unusually large number of ccc members for a grade, other grades in lower school have less. Don’t know about high school, but would think less too. Also high school kids are so busy and parents aren’t involved in their social lives, so I don’t see how a country club membership would change things.

Someone really has a thing about the 8th grade class. Every thread about STA they come in and make a post no matter what the thread is about.

Getting a bit stalker-level creepy to be honest.

Actually, it’s pretty well known at the school that both the 7th and 8th grade classes of last year are anomalies in a not-so-good way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year’s 8th grade did have an unusually large number of ccc members for a grade, other grades in lower school have less. Don’t know about high school, but would think less too. Also high school kids are so busy and parents aren’t involved in their social lives, so I don’t see how a country club membership would change things.

Someone really has a thing about the 8th grade class. Every thread about STA they come in and make a post no matter what the thread is about.

Getting a bit stalker-level creepy to be honest.

NP. Maybe you missed it but parents or students in the grade posted several pages about kids leaving and the issues involved in the grade. One was leaving themselves I believe? Of course posters are going to reply with insight. Does it involve your family in some way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You might not want to send your child to private in DC if you have this much of a problem with CCC. At GDS there are cliques if Jewish CCC members and synagogue cliques. If you are not Jewish you are out. The same can be said for Maret and Sidwell. You also have Congressional parent cliques to contend with as well as neighborhood cliques. Kids that live near each other hangout formally and informally and parents encourage those friendships. Honestly, I am not sure there is a private school in DC that a black family would not feel like an outsider.

Well, there is the fact that the top private schools offer a better education.

Many people at STA are not cliquey and surprisingly there are enough of us to make the school feel kind of normal most of the time.

However, the CCC moms are active in the parent association and have outsized voice in comparison to their numbers. Some of them are married to STA alums who also have outsized influence. Several members of the board are both alums and CCC members.

These are subtle cultural factors the HOS needs to take address if he’s genuinely interested in tackling racism. The thing is, you can’t tackle racism without tackling classism and that is rampant among the parents. Not so much among the boys.

The bottom line is that you will face more cliqueyness and exclusion as a parent than your boys will at school, where friendships form based on interests and personality. Through Form I, some of the social life is managed by parents, but less so as the boys get older.

Through middle school the boys relate through sports and video games, so if your son is good at either social life is fairly easy to navigate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You might not want to send your child to private in DC if you have this much of a problem with CCC. At GDS there are cliques if Jewish CCC members and synagogue cliques. If you are not Jewish you are out. The same can be said for Maret and Sidwell. You also have Congressional parent cliques to contend with as well as neighborhood cliques. Kids that live near each other hangout formally and informally and parents encourage those friendships. Honestly, I am not sure there is a private school in DC that a black family would not feel like an outsider.

Well, there is the fact that the top private schools offer a better education.

Many people at STA are not cliquey and surprisingly there are enough of us to make the school feel kind of normal most of the time.

However, the CCC moms are active in the parent association and have outsized voice in comparison to their numbers. Some of them are married to STA alums who also have outsized influence. Several members of the board are both alums and CCC members.

These are subtle cultural factors the HOS needs to take address if he’s genuinely interested in tackling racism. The thing is, you can’t tackle racism without tackling classism and that is rampant among the parents. Not so much among the boys.

The bottom line is that you will face more cliqueyness and exclusion as a parent than your boys will at school, where friendships form based on interests and personality. Through Form I, some of the social life is managed by parents, but less so as the boys get older.

Through middle school the boys relate through sports and video games, so if your son is good at either social life is fairly easy to navigate.

NP. I agree the boys make friends with those with similar interests and personalities especially as they get older. Most AA boys I know are leaders in the grade socially and seem happy.
of those boys do not fit in either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year’s 8th grade did have an unusually large number of ccc members for a grade, other grades in lower school have less. Don’t know about high school, but would think less too. Also high school kids are so busy and parents aren’t involved in their social lives, so I don’t see how a country club membership would change things.

Someone really has a thing about the 8th grade class. Every thread about STA they come in and make a post no matter what the thread is about.

Getting a bit stalker-level creepy to be honest.

NP. Maybe you missed it but parents or students in the grade posted several pages about kids leaving and the issues involved in the grade. One was leaving themselves I believe? Of course posters are going to reply with insight. Does it involve your family in some way?

No, my kids are at NCS. It's just I've seen the 8th graders mentioned in many threads, not just this one. It seems a bit obsessive at times. If I was a parent I'd be concerned not only by the reputation of those kids that is out there but also by the fact there is someone out there kind of stalking them with a bit of bitterness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You might not want to send your child to private in DC if you have this much of a problem with CCC. At GDS there are cliques if Jewish CCC members and synagogue cliques. If you are not Jewish you are out. The same can be said for Maret and Sidwell. You also have Congressional parent cliques to contend with as well as neighborhood cliques. Kids that live near each other hangout formally and informally and parents encourage those friendships. Honestly, I am not sure there is a private school in DC that a black family would not feel like an outsider.

What you describe is not about black families; it's about cliques which BTW as often as not include black families. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You might not want to send your child to private in DC if you have this much of a problem with CCC. At GDS there are cliques if Jewish CCC members and synagogue cliques. If you are not Jewish you are out. The same can be said for Maret and Sidwell. You also have Congressional parent cliques to contend with as well as neighborhood cliques. Kids that live near each other hangout formally and informally and parents encourage those friendships. Honestly, I am not sure there is a private school in DC that a black family would not feel like an outsider.

What you describe is not about black families; it's about cliques which BTW as often as not include black families. Sheesh.

black families don’t hold much weight in those type of clicks. May have a token here or there.

[Anonymous]

This thread is more about the parent social scene than anything else. If you’re relying on your kids’ school for this you are ripe for disappointment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is more about the parent social scene than anything else. If you’re relying on your kids’ school for this you are ripe for disappointment.

Agreed but that is my reading of the complaints. If you want your son to get a good education of any creed and he is smart, athletic, a good gamer or fun he will end up with a crowd. I did not send my kid there looking to make friends but I left with more than I could have imagined. Also unlike some of the other schools mentioned the Black kids on the close are disproportionally going to top colleges and obtaining leadership positions. They leave the close confident and that is a huge benefit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is more about the parent social scene than anything else. If you’re relying on your kids’ school for this you are ripe for disappointment.

Agreed but that is my reading of the complaints. If you want your son to get a good education of any creed and he is smart, athletic, a good gamer or fun he will end up with a crowd. I did not send my kid there looking to make friends but I left with more than I could have imagined. Also unlike some of the other schools mentioned the Black kids on the close are disproportionally going to top colleges and obtaining leadership positions. They leave the close confident and that is a huge benefit.

Good gamer? I guess the kids play video games together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is more about the parent social scene than anything else. If you’re relying on your kids’ school for this you are ripe for disappointment.

Agreed but that is my reading of the complaints. If you want your son to get a good education of any creed and he is smart, athletic, a good gamer or fun he will end up with a crowd. I did not send my kid there looking to make friends but I left with more than I could have imagined. Also unlike some of the other schools mentioned the Black kids on the close are disproportionally going to top colleges and obtaining leadership positions. They leave the close confident and that is a huge benefit.

This all sounds wonderful. Wondering what the issue is?