Please stop saying the K-Word

[Anonymous]

^ I went from a UMC white private school to a lower class mixed race school (probably 50% AA, 30% white and 20% Hispanic). The racism was OUT OF CONTROL. All 3 sides were basically in a high school level war against each other. No one sat with anyone. I'd never seen anything like it. I can't say that one race was any worse than the rest. I think racism/bias is just really bad the poorer you get. And that makes sense too because their fighting over very little resources that come to them.

Truthfully, I hadn't heard racist or derogatory comments before this. My family never used them and I really didn't realize it was a thing.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:Someone needs to think of a name for the OP of this thread:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/875218.page

That poster not only wants to speak to the manager, but wants to sue the manager as well.

This is why we still need to be able to use the word Ka-ren, Jeff. It just feels right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Becky is a derogatory American slang term for a white woman

but....Becky with the good hair was of Indian descent! Perhaps the connotation has evolved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree, using k*aren, becky etc... is an opportunity to use backwards racism and can be as offensive as the n word, etc.

-not white

As John Mulaney noted upthread, nothing can be as offensive as the n-word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:Someone needs to think of a name for the OP of this thread:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/875218.page

That poster not only wants to speak to the manager, but wants to sue the manager as well.

This is why we still need to be able to use the word Ka-ren, Jeff. It just feels right.

use emojis

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about Katherine?

I prefer Catherine.

So do I. We know a Katherine with a famous lastname. I wonder was does she think about this.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not think that deleting the original post was a good idea. We struggle because we refuse to openly discuss certain class and race issues. The intent did not seem to be to disparage certain types of people but to talk about the potential impact on children's perceptions. I grew up in the suburbs of Atlanta and came to the District to attend Howard in the 90s. I experienced the culture shock that often results from initial exposure to an urban culture for the first time. Having grown up in a neighborhood replete with black professionals, I did not draw negative conclusions, but someone without a broader context very well could. If I could ask Jeff a question, as a longtime user of this site (13 years), I would want to know how to best open those discussions of controversial issues without being offensive. I understand his decision but feel that shutting down the dialogue deprives us of the chance to connect. One of the things that has kept me coming back to DCUM is the ability to exchange opinions with people I do not necessarily meet on a daily basis. I hope that all of us can work together to maximize the site's incredible social potential.

I don't think that it is ever a good idea to reduce any community to its most troubled members. The very clear impression left by that poster was that white children in DC would only be exposed to black people who were using drugs or involved with crime. This is factually wrong. Indeed, even if the white children in the poster's neighborhood never left their block, they would at least be exposed to her (a professional black woman) and she would provide a counter-example to the drug-addicted criminals. DC has such a diverse black community that it would be almost impossible to live in such a hermetically-sealed environment such that drug addicts and criminals were the only black individuals with whom you ever came into contact.

The poster presented her post as a sort of warning to white people -- "be careful, you are unintentionally raising racists." But, if she has children, aren't they exposed to the same drug-users and ruffians? Are her children also internalizing these negative stereotypes? Is she concerned that she might be raising self-haters?

Even if we assumed that everything the poster stated was correct and white children in DC are unintentionally being raised as racists (an absurd notion on the face of it given that generations of non-racist white children have been raised here), what is her proposed solution? Should all white people leave the city, relocating to the suburbs in order to avoid poor black people? Does that sound like a logical way to combat racism?

I agree that issues of race and class should be discussed. But starting the discussion based on false premises, especially false premises that directly promote racist stereotypes, is not a good idea. It is worth discussing the overlap of race and class in DC and how professional black families are often caught in the middle of these divisions. But the way this poster addressed the topic was more likely to increase those divisions than to provide any enlightenment.

This would have been a much better response to that original thread than preventing discussion from happening at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, using k*aren, becky etc... is an opportunity to use backwards racism and can be as offensive as the n word, etc.

-not white

As John Mulaney noted upthread, nothing can be as offensive as the n-word.

NP and hispanic (if it matters). I agree that K*ren has quickly evolved to be a racist term against white women. It's not the nword but that does not mean it's not terrible. IMO it's akin to derogatory and racist terms like `spic and wetback, both words that sicken me "but are not as bad as the nword". I can't just tell society not to use racist words towards my racial group and think it's ok to use a new racist and derogatory word against white women. JMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, using k*aren, becky etc... is an opportunity to use backwards racism and can be as offensive as the n word, etc.

-not white

As John Mulaney noted upthread, nothing can be as offensive as the n-word.

NP and hispanic (if it matters). I agree that K*ren has quickly evolved to be a racist term against white women. It's not the nword but that does not mean it's not terrible. IMO it's akin to derogatory and racist terms like `spic and wetback, both words that sicken me "but are not as bad as the nword". I can't just tell society not to use racist words towards my racial group and think it's ok to use a new racist and derogatory word against white women. JMO.

Yeah the n-word isn’t even on the same playing field. Especially since white women have a ton of privilege that black people do not. Not to mention, the history of injustices such as Emitt Till and slavery and all of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, using k*aren, becky etc... is an opportunity to use backwards racism and can be as offensive as the n word, etc.

-not white

As John Mulaney noted upthread, nothing can be as offensive as the n-word.

NP and hispanic (if it matters). I agree that K*ren has quickly evolved to be a racist term against white women. It's not the nword but that does not mean it's not terrible. IMO it's akin to derogatory and racist terms like `spic and wetback, both words that sicken me "but are not as bad as the nword". I can't just tell society not to use racist words towards my racial group and think it's ok to use a new racist and derogatory word against white women. JMO.

Yeah the n-word isn’t even on the same playing field. Especially since white women have a ton of privilege that black people do not. Not to mention, the history of injustices such as Emitt Till and slavery and all of that.

I don’t think it’s on the same level especially with all the history that comes with the nword but it’s still being used in an offensive and derogatory and racial fashion and what can I say, that does not sit right with me either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, using k*aren, becky etc... is an opportunity to use backwards racism and can be as offensive as the n word, etc.

-not white

As John Mulaney noted upthread, nothing can be as offensive as the n-word.

NP and hispanic (if it matters). I agree that K*ren has quickly evolved to be a racist term against white women. It's not the nword but that does not mean it's not terrible. IMO it's akin to derogatory and racist terms like `spic and wetback, both words that sicken me "but are not as bad as the nword". I can't just tell society not to use racist words towards my racial group and think it's ok to use a new racist and derogatory word against white women. JMO.

Yeah the n-word isn’t even on the same playing field. Especially since white women have a ton of privilege that black people do not. Not to mention, the history of injustices such as Emitt Till and slavery and all of that.

I don’t think it’s on the same level especially with all the history that comes with the nword but it’s still being used in an offensive and derogatory and racial fashion and what can I say, that does not sit right with me either.

I never understood why the K word is race related. I know more diverse K-words than white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, using k*aren, becky etc... is an opportunity to use backwards racism and can be as offensive as the n word, etc.

-not white

As John Mulaney noted upthread, nothing can be as offensive as the n-word.

So can’t we just decide ALL words could maybe be be offensive to somebody somewhere??

Let’s ban all words.

[Anonymous]

Of course it doesn’t come close to the N word. But calling a woman a K is a a way of silencing a middle-aged woman. It’s misogyny, pure and simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course it doesn’t come close to the N word. But calling a woman a K is a a way of silencing a middle-aged woman. It’s misogyny, pure and simple.

I’ve never seen it used in a way that silences. It’s more so mocking the “let me see your manager” and the ones who call the cops on people standing outside during quarantine trope.

But regardless, I’ll just use another generic name like Becky or Kathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course it doesn’t come close to the N word. But calling a woman a K is a a way of silencing a middle-aged woman. It’s misogyny, pure and simple.

Agree. It’s racist, misogynist and ageist. Jeff made the right call.