Please stop saying the K-Word

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course it doesn’t come close to the N word. But calling a woman a K is a a way of silencing a middle-aged woman. It’s misogyny, pure and simple.

Agree. It’s racist, misogynist and ageist. Jeff made the right call.

Really? I don’t associate it with a certain age or race; it’s more about the entitled attitude. And not having self awareness or a sense of humor.
-Latina White middle age chick

[Anonymous]

I'd LOL if someone called me K*ren. But sure, it's overused.

I would not respond well if someone called me N-word. It's used less these days, but still overused, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not think that deleting the original post was a good idea. We struggle because we refuse to openly discuss certain class and race issues. The intent did not seem to be to disparage certain types of people but to talk about the potential impact on children's perceptions. I grew up in the suburbs of Atlanta and came to the District to attend Howard in the 90s. I experienced the culture shock that often results from initial exposure to an urban culture for the first time. Having grown up in a neighborhood replete with black professionals, I did not draw negative conclusions, but someone without a broader context very well could. If I could ask Jeff a question, as a longtime user of this site (13 years), I would want to know how to best open those discussions of controversial issues without being offensive. I understand his decision but feel that shutting down the dialogue deprives us of the chance to connect. One of the things that has kept me coming back to DCUM is the ability to exchange opinions with people I do not necessarily meet on a daily basis. I hope that all of us can work together to maximize the site's incredible social potential.

I don't think that it is ever a good idea to reduce any community to its most troubled members. The very clear impression left by that poster was that white children in DC would only be exposed to black people who were using drugs or involved with crime. This is factually wrong. Indeed, even if the white children in the poster's neighborhood never left their block, they would at least be exposed to her (a professional black woman) and she would provide a counter-example to the drug-addicted criminals. DC has such a diverse black community that it would be almost impossible to live in such a hermetically-sealed environment such that drug addicts and criminals were the only black individuals with whom you ever came into contact.

The poster presented her post as a sort of warning to white people -- "be careful, you are unintentionally raising racists." But, if she has children, aren't they exposed to the same drug-users and ruffians? Are her children also internalizing these negative stereotypes? Is she concerned that she might be raising self-haters?

Even if we assumed that everything the poster stated was correct and white children in DC are unintentionally being raised as racists (an absurd notion on the face of it given that generations of non-racist white children have been raised here), what is her proposed solution? Should all white people leave the city, relocating to the suburbs in order to avoid poor black people? Does that sound like a logical way to combat racism?

I agree that issues of race and class should be discussed. But starting the discussion based on false premises, especially false premises that directly promote racist stereotypes, is not a good idea. It is worth discussing the overlap of race and class in DC and how professional black families are often caught in the middle of these divisions. But the way this poster addressed the topic was more likely to increase those divisions than to provide any enlightenment.

Jeff, I am the PP who posted this. Thank you for responding. I now have a better understanding of the logic that led you to delete the original thread. I happen to think that living together and getting to know each other intimately is our best common defense against stereotyping and the resulting racism. I think we do have to bring up those touchy issues in a way that indicates that we are seeking, as you said, enlightenment and solutions. The funny thing is that until I stumbled across this thread I had never heard of the K word and actually, as a child of the 80s, assumed it was a euphemism for a repulsive and wholly unacceptable sexist epithet. Without DCUM I would be totally out of touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course it doesn’t come close to the N word. But calling a woman a K is a a way of silencing a middle-aged woman. It’s misogyny, pure and simple.

I’ve never seen it used in a way that silences. It’s more so mocking the “let me see your manager” and the ones who call the cops on people standing outside during quarantine trope.

But regardless, I’ll just use another generic name like Becky or Kathy.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course it doesn’t come close to the N word. But calling a woman a K is a a way of silencing a middle-aged woman. It’s misogyny, pure and simple.

I’ve never seen it used in a way that silences. It’s more so mocking the “let me see your manager” and the ones who call the cops on people standing outside during quarantine trope.

But regardless, I’ll just use another generic name like Becky or Kathy.

Agree.

Oh really? What if somebody said “ok Laquanda”......would you interpret that as a benign comment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course it doesn’t come close to the N word. But calling a woman a K is a a way of silencing a middle-aged woman. It’s misogyny, pure and simple.

I’ve never seen it used in a way that silences. It’s more so mocking the “let me see your manager” and the ones who call the cops on people standing outside during quarantine trope.

But regardless, I’ll just use another generic name like Becky or Kathy.

Agree.

Oh really? What if somebody said “ok Laquanda”......would you interpret that as a benign comment?

Then I’d say “okay”?

A white woman can have that name. Not understanding your point. I know white women with names like Monisha, Denise, Dominique.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course it doesn’t come close to the N word. But calling a woman a K is a a way of silencing a middle-aged woman. It’s misogyny, pure and simple.

I’ve never seen it used in a way that silences. It’s more so mocking the “let me see your manager” and the ones who call the cops on people standing outside during quarantine trope.

But regardless, I’ll just use another generic name like Becky or Kathy.

Agree.

Oh really? What if somebody said “ok Laquanda”......would you interpret that as a benign comment?

What do you associate when you think Laquanda? I don’t know anyone with that name. It isn’t even close to my name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course it doesn’t come close to the N word. But calling a woman a K is a a way of silencing a middle-aged woman. It’s misogyny, pure and simple.

I’ve never seen it used in a way that silences. It’s more so mocking the “let me see your manager” and the ones who call the cops on people standing outside during quarantine trope.

But regardless, I’ll just use another generic name like Becky or Kathy.

Agree.

Oh really? What if somebody said “ok Laquanda”......would you interpret that as a benign comment?

What do you associate when you think Laquanda? I don’t know anyone with that name. It isn’t even close to my name.

There are black women named K@ren...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course it doesn’t come close to the N word. But calling a woman a K is a a way of silencing a middle-aged woman. It’s misogyny, pure and simple.

Agree. It’s racist, misogynist and ageist. Jeff made the right call.

The privilege in this mindset is exquisite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course it doesn’t come close to the N word. But calling a woman a K is a a way of silencing a middle-aged woman. It’s misogyny, pure and simple.

I’ve never seen it used in a way that silences. It’s more so mocking the “let me see your manager” and the ones who call the cops on people standing outside during quarantine trope.

But regardless, I’ll just use another generic name like Becky or Kathy.

It is their nature. They cannot be silenced.

[Anonymous]

People who think the K-word is overused just haven't seen it done well. I have seen sooooo many good usages of it lately (not on this website) and oh man it is a delight.

[Anonymous]

Callking a middle aged woman that name is a way of silencing them??? Man, middle aged women must be pretty sensitive. Sad because I'll be one soon.

[Anonymous]

Comparisons to slurs used against other groups don't hold up because they are not used in a context in which members of the 'undesirable' group are likely to suffer legal or physical consequences resulting from structural inequities. Minority groups have often had their own unkind words for their coevals in the majority but the difference is that the taunting remains just that: it is not backed up by social, economic, and political power. White Man's Burden was an interesting cinematic rumination on these issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course it doesn’t come close to the N word. But calling a woman a K is a a way of silencing a middle-aged woman. It’s misogyny, pure and simple.

Agree. It’s racist, misogynist and ageist. Jeff made the right call.

I’m a POC and I agree. Thanks, Jeff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course it doesn’t come close to the N word. But calling a woman a K is a a way of silencing a middle-aged woman. It’s misogyny, pure and simple.

Agree. It’s racist, misogynist and ageist. Jeff made the right call.

I’m a POC and I agree. Thanks, Jeff.

I’m a POC and I don’t agree.

It’s a name.