DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a great trip idea and if you start thinking of "it's so hard with a small one" when are you ever going to do anything? People travel all the time with babies, and for vacations too!

She'll travel when the baby is 3 or 4. Not sure why this is hard to grasp?

Because that means her first child won’t travel until he’s like 9. So many missed opportunities.

yes, it's child abuse not to take a kid on long trips between the ages of 5-7. OP's child is still a young infant on a 2-nap schedule. Nobody is going to be scarred by staying home for one summer. Older child can learn the world doesn't revolve around him.

Hoolleee sh*t I am glad I didn't have a mother like you. The rigidity coupled with basically writing off the eldest as well as the husband is astounding. Ground the whole family for years because of your own neuroses, inability to compromise, and total inflexibility? Yikes.

I hate to break it to you, but a lot of people never take vacations at all as kids. You're trying to tell me that not travelling for a year or two is child abuse? what kind of insanely privileged and clueless world do you live in? are you one of those moms who never lets baby #2 nap because you're always at soccer practice or something, and you lack the inner resources to be content at home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a great trip idea and if you start thinking of "it's so hard with a small one" when are you ever going to do anything? People travel all the time with babies, and for vacations too!

She'll travel when the baby is 3 or 4. Not sure why this is hard to grasp?

Because that means her first child won’t travel until he’s like 9. So many missed opportunities.

yes, it's child abuse not to take a kid on long trips between the ages of 5-7. OP's child is still a young infant on a 2-nap schedule. Nobody is going to be scarred by staying home for one summer. Older child can learn the world doesn't revolve around him.

Hoolleee sh*t I am glad I didn't have a mother like you. The rigidity coupled with basically writing off the eldest as well as the husband is astounding. Ground the whole family for years because of your own neuroses, inability to compromise, and total inflexibility? Yikes.

I hate to break it to you, but a lot of people never take vacations at all as kids. You're trying to tell me that not travelling for a year or two is child abuse? what kind of insanely privileged and clueless world do you live in? are you one of those moms who never lets baby #2 nap because you're always at soccer practice or something, and you lack the inner resources to be content at home?

It's not child abuse, it's just not ideal. Child abuse, what hyperbole. This is free housing in a beautiful place, you're own space even. As many have said, it basically doesn't get easier than this and it is cheap to boot. I grew up where yeah, we would spend a week at someone's house during the summer and I had a middle class upbringing. OP is literally whining about spending time at a friend's beach house that is two properties, so the privilege is pretty strong here.

I just don't get why you wouldn't? Stay at home and still be tied to the house and the routine, or switch off parents taking turns sitting on the patio of your guesthouse drinking wine and reading a book? I'd pick the latter. The older one would be entertained and have lovely memories and you would have experiences as a family. I lack no inner resources to be at home, I just don't get why home has to literally be HOME and not a nice summer home.

[Anonymous]

Not one person brought up child abuse except trying to make a hyperbolic argument to prove a point? To what end? No one here said or thinks that. But if you think a vacation like this is undoable, well I guess no sports, or birthday parties or anything during the day because of OMG baby for the next few years? Who lives like that and expects not to get it pointed out that these things are all still doable. If OP would just own this is more about her than the baby I would respect that. But to try to make it sound like this little special snowflake just can't handle this vacation is just not true with the facts presented. There are so many work around.

To say the older child must learn that she/he can't do things like this because of the baby will only breed resentment. Family is about give and take and I would be curious what op has given lately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids in a day care OP? I ask because other than the travel time, this is nothing more than spending time with your kids. Any sahm would think nothing of this, apart from the fact that you have dh to take care of your older kid and go out with him, and it is actually easier on you. You sound like you are scared of taking care of your own kids.

Oh, throwing a little shade at working moms on top of everything else, are we? That's so sweet!

Travel with a baby is a LOT more work than staying at home, everyone knows that. Especially as a working mom, when you don't have infinite time to pack and plan, and when you know you need to go right back to work when you get home. One reason I didn't want to travel when I had an infant and worked is that I wanted to have relaxed downtime at home with my baby, not stress myself out with even more complications.

I am guessing your over the top reaction is due to your own issues. Travel with the baby is more work, once you are in a house, it is not more work than any other work taking care of your kids. As for working moms being scared of watching their own kids? Seen it myself many a time, you are only mad because you recognize yourself in my statement. And what a rich statement of sahm having "infinite" time to pack and plan. Spoken like a person who only knows her own "truth." Truth is that you know you are full of it, relaxed own time at home is only possible with that unicorn baby.

[Anonymous]

I have a feeling the OP has used the baby as an excuse a lot and her husband is starting to call her on it

[Anonymous]

Op, you don't want to go. Just own it and be honest with yourself and friends. Why not send DH and DS? Could be a great trip for them! I can't reallynsee an objection to that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not one person brought up child abuse except trying to make a hyperbolic argument to prove a point? To what end? No one here said or thinks that. But if you think a vacation like this is undoable, well I guess no sports, or birthday parties or anything during the day because of OMG baby for the next few years? Who lives like that and expects not to get it pointed out that these things are all still doable. If OP would just own this is more about her than the baby I would respect that. But to try to make it sound like this little special snowflake just can't handle this vacation is just not true with the facts presented. There are so many work around.

To say the older child must learn that she/he can't do things like this because of the baby will only breed resentment. Family is about give and take and I would be curious what op has given lately.

are you that unable to make boundaries with your child that you can't delay the gratification of a vacation one or two years? vacations are not human rights. the kid will live to tell the tale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids in a day care OP? I ask because other than the travel time, this is nothing more than spending time with your kids. Any sahm would think nothing of this, apart from the fact that you have dh to take care of your older kid and go out with him, and it is actually easier on you. You sound like you are scared of taking care of your own kids.

Oh, throwing a little shade at working moms on top of everything else, are we? That's so sweet!

Travel with a baby is a LOT more work than staying at home, everyone knows that. Especially as a working mom, when you don't have infinite time to pack and plan, and when you know you need to go right back to work when you get home. One reason I didn't want to travel when I had an infant and worked is that I wanted to have relaxed downtime at home with my baby, not stress myself out with even more complications.

I am guessing your over the top reaction is due to your own issues. Travel with the baby is more work, once you are in a house, it is not more work than any other work taking care of your kids. As for working moms being scared of watching their own kids? Seen it myself many a time, you are only mad because you recognize yourself in my statement. And what a rich statement of sahm having "infinite" time to pack and plan. Spoken like a person who only knows her own "truth." Truth is that you know you are full of it, relaxed own time at home is only possible with that unicorn baby.

lol, thanks for proving you're a spoiled, self-centered shrew who just oops, happened to insult working moms!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not one person brought up child abuse except trying to make a hyperbolic argument to prove a point? To what end? No one here said or thinks that. But if you think a vacation like this is undoable, well I guess no sports, or birthday parties or anything during the day because of OMG baby for the next few years? Who lives like that and expects not to get it pointed out that these things are all still doable. If OP would just own this is more about her than the baby I would respect that. But to try to make it sound like this little special snowflake just can't handle this vacation is just not true with the facts presented. There are so many work around.

To say the older child must learn that she/he can't do things like this because of the baby will only breed resentment. Family is about give and take and I would be curious what op has given lately.

are you that unable to make boundaries with your child that you can't delay the gratification of a vacation one or two years? vacations are not human rights. the kid will live to tell the tale.

No, but I am not so conceited that I would put my needs above the needs of my family/children.
The excuses OP is using for why she can't go on this trip would apply to several other activities and family events.
How does she plan to handle visiting grandparents, drop off/ pick up from school, activiites, parades, shopping even.
If she has to hole up at home all day because of this baby, that is going to be a huge bummer for her first kid.
It sounds like OP just really doesn't want to go and is inflating the "OMG so difficult, nothing will work at all to make this trip doable" attitude.
That is the issue many of us have with her. She isn't owning her own preferences and instead is trying to make it seem like this kid is a major buzz kill when in reality millions of parents do these things every single day and make it work. Where there is a will there is a way.

If she really wanted to make it work she would. It is clear to everyone she doesn't want to.
I am a working mom and while i would hate to use all of my vacation time on this week long trip, i would own that and not try to blame and make up excuses about why my kids won't allow this to happen.

The fact is that naps can still happen, kids can still eat, OP can still enjoy the beach and down time and boating and everything else if she wanted to.

Will the oldest kid survive no family vacations. Yep, but it is the reason that no fun can be had that is offputting to us. The OP obviously has the means and ability to show her older kid some fun and she is whining about having to miss a 6 hour boat ride? WTF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids in a day care OP? I ask because other than the travel time, this is nothing more than spending time with your kids. Any sahm would think nothing of this, apart from the fact that you have dh to take care of your older kid and go out with him, and it is actually easier on you. You sound like you are scared of taking care of your own kids.

Oh, throwing a little shade at working moms on top of everything else, are we? That's so sweet!

Travel with a baby is a LOT more work than staying at home, everyone knows that. Especially as a working mom, when you don't have infinite time to pack and plan, and when you know you need to go right back to work when you get home. One reason I didn't want to travel when I had an infant and worked is that I wanted to have relaxed downtime at home with my baby, not stress myself out with even more complications.

I am guessing your over the top reaction is due to your own issues. Travel with the baby is more work, once you are in a house, it is not more work than any other work taking care of your kids. As for working moms being scared of watching their own kids? Seen it myself many a time, you are only mad because you recognize yourself in my statement. And what a rich statement of sahm having "infinite" time to pack and plan. Spoken like a person who only knows her own "truth." Truth is that you know you are full of it, relaxed own time at home is only possible with that unicorn baby.

lol, thanks for proving you're a spoiled, self-centered shrew who just oops, happened to insult working moms!

Not at all. I only insulted your incompetence, because that is what it is. Wohm? BTDT. SAHM? BTDT. For long periods of time, guess which one was million times easier? Yep, kids in the day care and working out of home was million times easier. I suspect you are an older mom, everything is hard for you, because you put yourself first. Grew up on me first philosophy.

[Anonymous]

Wow. People are really piling on OP without knowing the situation. I've traveled a lot with my kids, but my oldest was a very fussy, very high maintenance baby who didn't sleep, and it was quite difficult. If I had a useless DH, it wouldn't at all have been fun traveling with her and being cooped up in a hotel or guest house for an entire trip. She also screamed nonstop for any drive, which made driving incredibly stressful. Thankfully, I had a helpful DH, and kid #2 was a much more mellow, easy child, but unless you have a very high needs baby, you can't really understand.

OP might be entirely correct that it would be a stressful, not at all fun trip for her. That could be valid, depending on her baby, DH, friend situation, and lodging. The best approach would be to talk to her DH and friends to get a better idea of how things might work for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. People are really piling on OP without knowing the situation. I've traveled a lot with my kids, but my oldest was a very fussy, very high maintenance baby who didn't sleep, and it was quite difficult. If I had a useless DH, it wouldn't at all have been fun traveling with her and being cooped up in a hotel or guest house for an entire trip. She also screamed nonstop for any drive, which made driving incredibly stressful. Thankfully, I had a helpful DH, and kid #2 was a much more mellow, easy child, but unless you have a very high needs baby, you can't really understand.

OP might be entirely correct that it would be a stressful, not at all fun trip for her. That could be valid, depending on her baby, DH, friend situation, and lodging. The best approach would be to talk to her DH and friends to get a better idea of how things might work for her.

Yes, but any suggestions to that effect have been shot down as "IMPOSSIBLE".
OP has never said her DH was a loser dad who doesn't help. She never said her friends suck and would ditch her (then why invite her), she never said her oldest was a pain. She never said the baby can't handle car rides.
They only thing she has said is she will be stuck in a guest house while others boat for 6 hours having fun. When pointed out it doesn't have to be that way she lists a million fake reasons that don't even make sense.

Bottom line: she doesn't want to go. Is using the baby as an excuse. Was hoping for back up from here to prove to DH why its a bad idea. Pissed we didn't back her up.

[Anonymous]

OP, any new info?

[Anonymous]

Bottom line « vacation » with a baby is not a vacation - it is your same mom job but without all of your stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your kids in a day care OP? I ask because other than the travel time, this is nothing more than spending time with your kids. Any sahm would think nothing of this, apart from the fact that you have dh to take care of your older kid and go out with him, and it is actually easier on you. You sound like you are scared of taking care of your own kids.

Oh, throwing a little shade at working moms on top of everything else, are we? That's so sweet!

Travel with a baby is a LOT more work than staying at home, everyone knows that. Especially as a working mom, when you don't have infinite time to pack and plan, and when you know you need to go right back to work when you get home. One reason I didn't want to travel when I had an infant and worked is that I wanted to have relaxed downtime at home with my baby, not stress myself out with even more complications.

I am guessing your over the top reaction is due to your own issues. Travel with the baby is more work, once you are in a house, it is not more work than any other work taking care of your kids. As for working moms being scared of watching their own kids? Seen it myself many a time, you are only mad because you recognize yourself in my statement. And what a rich statement of sahm having "infinite" time to pack and plan. Spoken like a person who only knows her own "truth." Truth is that you know you are full of it, relaxed own time at home is only possible with that unicorn baby.

lol, thanks for proving you're a spoiled, self-centered shrew who just oops, happened to insult working moms!

Not at all. I only insulted your incompetence, because that is what it is. Wohm? BTDT. SAHM? BTDT. For long periods of time, guess which one was million times easier? Yep, kids in the day care and working out of home was million times easier. I suspect you are an older mom, everything is hard for you, because you put yourself first. Grew up on me first philosophy.

Oh, now we're bashing older moms too? How nice.