DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea

[Anonymous]

Well break out the 'mommy wars' I guess.

Facts: OP came here asking for advice
Gave limited information and asked for advice
Received advice
Did not like advice
Received suggestions to make it work
Refused all suggestions
Continues to blame baby
Not baby's fault
OP continues to not own that SHE and she alone is the reason this trip will not be fun.

That's perfectly fine. Vacations aren't for everyone. Beaches aren't for everyone. But to make up lame excuses and then get upset when others point out that those excuses don't really hold up? GTFO the board.

I hate camping. When we are invited i either accept knowing it is a pain but my family loves it. I kindly refuse and own the fact I am the reason we aren't going. (we almost always go, but i don't try to get a bunch of random people to validate why i shouldn't have to if i do decline)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well break out the 'mommy wars' I guess.

Facts: OP came here asking for advice
Gave limited information and asked for advice
Received advice
Did not like advice
Received suggestions to make it work
Refused all suggestions
Continues to blame baby
Not baby's fault
OP continues to not own that SHE and she alone is the reason this trip will not be fun.

That's perfectly fine. Vacations aren't for everyone. Beaches aren't for everyone. But to make up lame excuses and then get upset when others point out that those excuses don't really hold up? GTFO the board.

Perfect summary! Also, I hate camping so much. DS is still really little, but I always assumed I could just send DH and DS and stay home for the weekend. Impressed with your ability to suck it up and go (I hate it so much).

I hate camping. When we are invited i either accept knowing it is a pain but my family loves it. I kindly refuse and own the fact I am the reason we aren't going. (we almost always go, but i don't try to get a bunch of random people to validate why i shouldn't have to if i do decline)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would go and split the days with DH as far as who gets to do the activities. I would also be ok with my 1yo having the occasional nap in a stroller if walking somewhere, or in the car if need be.

This. I am also the kind of person who gets tired out by a lot of socializing so it wouldn’t be terrible for me to hang out at the house while the baby naps once in a while.

[Anonymous]

I’d go in a heartbeat Op. But, my DH is very helpful and fair-minded and also I don’t mind a little downtime with the younger one from time to time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol to the PP. literally everyone here said to chill with the baby at the house or trade off. Stop trying to make it sound like we all want a one year old to go scuba diving or something. She can meet the needs of the one year old while on vacation is all that I see being said. Chill the f out. You sound like you need a vacation.

Don't worry, it sounds like crazy PP will get one whenever her youngest is 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bottom line « vacation » with a baby is not a vacation - it is your same mom job but without all of your stuff.

Only if your husband sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bottom line « vacation » with a baby is not a vacation - it is your same mom job but without all of your stuff.

Only if your husband sucks.

Yep. And only if you don’t enjoy a beautiful change of scenery while you still have to care for the children you willingly gave birth too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not one person brought up child abuse except trying to make a hyperbolic argument to prove a point? To what end? No one here said or thinks that. But if you think a vacation like this is undoable, well I guess no sports, or birthday parties or anything during the day because of OMG baby for the next few years? Who lives like that and expects not to get it pointed out that these things are all still doable. If OP would just own this is more about her than the baby I would respect that. But to try to make it sound like this little special snowflake just can't handle this vacation is just not true with the facts presented. There are so many work around.

To say the older child must learn that she/he can't do things like this because of the baby will only breed resentment. Family is about give and take and I would be curious what op has given lately.

This is why I asked what they’d be doing if they stayed home. I don’t think I got a response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some good friends invited us and a another family (we are all friends) to join them in Maine the week before Labor Day. Their family has a massive house there. The friends who invited us have a 7 year old and 5 year old. The other family has 6 and 8 year olds. We have a 5 year old and a 1 year old.

DH really wants to go and thinks we would be crazy to say no. But I am really worried that most of the activities and plans won’t be so great for a one year old who naps twice a day and goes to bed at 7. We would not be staying in the main house - they have a guest house on the property but it’s not right behind so my fear is that I will end up there myself half the time with the baby. The friends have been talking about their Maine trips for years and how they spend all day at the beach or on the boat, which just isn’t going to work for a one year old.

Would you go or decline? DH thinks I need to suck it up and that it will be super fun. I think it will be really challenging.

You sound SO boring. It'll be great if you make it great.

First thing I did with all 3 of mine was train them to sleep anywhere, so they were well rested but we didn't give up our entire lives and identities

You’re hilarious. Could we get step by step training instructions?
You lucked out with good sleepers. Good for you but get off your high horse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well break out the 'mommy wars' I guess.

Facts: OP came here asking for advice
Gave limited information and asked for advice
Received advice
Did not like advice
Received suggestions to make it work
Refused all suggestions
Continues to blame baby
Not baby's fault
OP continues to not own that SHE and she alone is the reason this trip will not be fun.

That's perfectly fine. Vacations aren't for everyone. Beaches aren't for everyone. But to make up lame excuses and then get upset when others point out that those excuses don't really hold up? GTFO the board.

I hate camping. When we are invited i either accept knowing it is a pain but my family loves it. I kindly refuse and own the fact I am the reason we aren't going. (we almost always go, but i don't try to get a bunch of random people to validate why i shouldn't have to if i do decline)

you forgot:
OP explained she has an unsually fussy baby
Posters accused OP of being a martyr AND self-centered
Posters bashed OP for being a WOHM
Posters bashed OP for being an older mom
Posters bashed OP for being a terrible mom
Posters bash OP for not replying in exactly the manner they expect

Still team OP here.

[Anonymous]

Sounds great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some good friends invited us and a another family (we are all friends) to join them in Maine the week before Labor Day. Their family has a massive house there. The friends who invited us have a 7 year old and 5 year old. The other family has 6 and 8 year olds. We have a 5 year old and a 1 year old.

DH really wants to go and thinks we would be crazy to say no. But I am really worried that most of the activities and plans won’t be so great for a one year old who naps twice a day and goes to bed at 7. We would not be staying in the main house - they have a guest house on the property but it’s not right behind so my fear is that I will end up there myself half the time with the baby. The friends have been talking about their Maine trips for years and how they spend all day at the beach or on the boat, which just isn’t going to work for a one year old.

Would you go or decline? DH thinks I need to suck it up and that it will be super fun. I think it will be really challenging.

You sound SO boring. It'll be great if you make it great.

First thing I did with all 3 of mine was train them to sleep anywhere, so they were well rested but we didn't give up our entire lives and identities

You’re hilarious. Could we get step by step training instructions?
You lucked out with good sleepers. Good for you but get off your high horse.

Oh please. It's not just luck that causes babies to learn how to sleep! Let me guess--your kids dictate your life and do whatever they want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some good friends invited us and a another family (we are all friends) to join them in Maine the week before Labor Day. Their family has a massive house there. The friends who invited us have a 7 year old and 5 year old. The other family has 6 and 8 year olds. We have a 5 year old and a 1 year old.

DH really wants to go and thinks we would be crazy to say no. But I am really worried that most of the activities and plans won’t be so great for a one year old who naps twice a day and goes to bed at 7. We would not be staying in the main house - they have a guest house on the property but it’s not right behind so my fear is that I will end up there myself half the time with the baby. The friends have been talking about their Maine trips for years and how they spend all day at the beach or on the boat, which just isn’t going to work for a one year old.

Would you go or decline? DH thinks I need to suck it up and that it will be super fun. I think it will be really challenging.

You sound SO boring. It'll be great if you make it great.

First thing I did with all 3 of mine was train them to sleep anywhere, so they were well rested but we didn't give up our entire lives and identities

You’re hilarious. Could we get step by step training instructions?
You lucked out with good sleepers. Good for you but get off your high horse.

Oh please. It's not just luck that causes babies to learn how to sleep! Let me guess--your kids dictate your life and do whatever they want?

no, my kids don't dictate my life. which is why I didn't stress myself out by traveling when I knew it wasn't a good time for it yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some good friends invited us and a another family (we are all friends) to join them in Maine the week before Labor Day. Their family has a massive house there. The friends who invited us have a 7 year old and 5 year old. The other family has 6 and 8 year olds. We have a 5 year old and a 1 year old.

DH really wants to go and thinks we would be crazy to say no. But I am really worried that most of the activities and plans won’t be so great for a one year old who naps twice a day and goes to bed at 7. We would not be staying in the main house - they have a guest house on the property but it’s not right behind so my fear is that I will end up there myself half the time with the baby. The friends have been talking about their Maine trips for years and how they spend all day at the beach or on the boat, which just isn’t going to work for a one year old.

Would you go or decline? DH thinks I need to suck it up and that it will be super fun. I think it will be really challenging.

You sound SO boring. It'll be great if you make it great.

First thing I did with all 3 of mine was train them to sleep anywhere, so they were well rested but we didn't give up our entire lives and identities

You’re hilarious. Could we get step by step training instructions?
You lucked out with good sleepers. Good for you but get off your high horse.

Oh please. It's not just luck that causes babies to learn how to sleep! Let me guess--your kids dictate your life and do whatever they want?

Not at all.
I have seven kids and think I have quite a bit of experience with sleeping children. #1-3 were great sleepers and could take them anywhere, #4 was awful, #5 was good, #6 was amazing and we drug that one everywhere, #7 is horrible and I’m hesitant to travel with him.
I did the same things with all of them. You don’t give genetics and temperament enough credit.

[Anonymous]

I'm a big believer in saying YES whenever possible. It's not FOMO exactly, it's just that IME, things are never as bad as I imagine.

If it were me, I would definitely go. You don't know what life is going to throw you. You could end up pregnant again, an6 number of situations.

When the road is actually logistically clear and the only thing stopping you is worried tell Mom that I am a big believer in just do it.

It'll be good for your husband and your older child, and most likely, good for you and the baby too.