Celebrating Everyone but actual mother's on mother's day?

[Anonymous]

^ sorry you think a florist's holiday is the only way to express motherhood's significance.

Me...I'd rather have better paid family leave, maternity leave, maternal care, less misogyny, the end of sahm versus whom wars, and mommy wars in general, than a dumb, annual holiday that seems to stress most mothers out.

[Anonymous]

https://www.wmbfnews.com/2022/05/05/why-woman-who-created-mothers-day-hated-it-so-much/

Mothers day became so commercialized that the founder regretted she ever started it.

Sensing that she can’t contain her creation, Jarvis threatens to end it during the 1940s. “She told me, with terrible bitterness, that she was sorry she had ever started Mother’s Day,” said one journalist who allegedly pretended to be a deliveryman so he could meet the increasingly reclusive Jarvis.

When I was a kid in the 70s, we would wear a a red flower if our mother was alive, and a white flower if our mother was deceased, to church. And take our mom out to lunch, and that was it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the cocoon of an anonymous internet forum, this has low-key irritated me for a while. I am definitely sensitive that some women have complicated feelings about this Hallmark holiday (e.g. women struggling with infertility, women who have lost their children or mothers, etc). But, it seems like the one day supposedly for celebrating mothers needs to be split among all women in a way that you wouldn't see on father's day. Can you imagine a meme that says "for the men who chose not to be fathers?" Please. It's like people say to moms that they need to be sensitive to all women, and don't rub your motherhood in everyone elses face, rather than remembering the point of the day in the first place.

Anyway, only saying this here because it's petty and small of me.

OP here. I have to say, I have seen people celebrating single moms on father's day because they are "the mother and the father" and I think that is pretty dumb as well.

That's so weird something like that bothers you, OP. My husband has been dead for over a decade and my kids have sometimes acknowledged me on Father's Day - a day they have found difficult at times.

Not everything is about you or your feelings. If someone gets a card from the dog, who gives a feck?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only who is noticing this today? Childless women are being celebrated as mother's to their dogs, and there are memes going around "remembering the women who chose not to have children" (emphasis mine.) Is it really too much to ask to just celebrate mother's on MOTHER'S Day?

(I do think it is appropriate and nice to be mindful of women experiencing infertility on Mother's Day, which is a lot different than celebrating childfree women on mother's day.)

How do other peoples choices affect you?

[Anonymous]

It's not a zero sum game. Their celebration does not take anything away from your celebration.

CelebrateIt's not a zero sum game. Their celebration does not take anything away from your celebration.

Celebrate whatever it is that you celebrate. Full stop.

[Anonymous]

Is there nothing going on in your life, OP? I can’t imagine being so bothered by how other people choose to celebrate a Hallmark holiday.

[Anonymous]

I really just wish Mother’s Day wasn’t a thing. Sure I love the waffles and the kids being really sweet on that day, but between the ridiculousness OP points out and my obligation to get a gift for my own mom and stepmom, I would be so happy if it was gone.

[Anonymous]

I celebrate my mother on Mother’s Day. Dh gets me flowers and a card. We usually go out for brunch or dinner. I book myself a spa day around Mother’s Day but on Mother’s Day.

Who cares how childless people celebrate Mother’s Day or don’t celebrate Mother’s Day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only who is noticing this today? Childless women are being celebrated as mother's to their dogs, and there are memes going around "remembering the women who chose not to have children" (emphasis mine.) Is it really too much to ask to just celebrate mother's on MOTHER'S Day?

(I do think it is appropriate and nice to be mindful of women experiencing infertility on Mother's Day, which is a lot different than celebrating childfree women on mother's day.)

I'm childfree and agree with you. I think these types of holidays are silly and weird in general, so that colors my perspective a bit too, but the reality is, I don't NEED to be celebrated as my hamster's mother, my dog's mother, whatever, we seem to have this idea that being called "mother" to something/anything is necessary for a woman's self-esteem, and that's just not true. I'm good letting the mothers celebrate, it doesn't interest me (other than telling my own mom HMD of course!).

PP you made me laugh so much with the "hamster's mother" part. Don't know why. But appreciate your point that society has a fixation that every woman needs to be some kind of mother to something and that is problematic as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the expectation for a person without children to be wished a happy mothers day because I don't even go out of my way to wish other moms a happy mothers day. Like I might send a not to a few friends with same age kids, and obviously I'll celebrate my own mom, but I have tons of friends who are moms and I will not do anything for them -- their own husbands and kids will. It's not my job.

I honestly think if I sent my childless friends "happy Mother's Day" texts, it would potentially read as hurtful and condescending? I guess if I had a friend who had recently gone through infertility, I might be able to craft a note to her that was thoughtful and supportive, but I'd also worry about it coming off wrong and probably just say nothing. If I were not a mom, and wished I was, I think my personal approach to this day would be to stay off social media and ignore it, go do something nice for myself away from anyone who might remind me of it. I'm sure everyone is different, but that's what I'd guess people wanted.

+1 I was wished Happy Mother's Day by a random store clerk once before I had kids and it just made me feel kind of sad (and like I looked old!)

I wish my own mom and MIL and a handful of moms of same-age kids, or if I happen to see someone who I know is a mom. Of course ppl can reach out to their own maternal figures. I don't go around wishing random ppl. It's a personal holiday (want to be recognized by my DH and kids) not randos.

[Anonymous]

I hate Mother’s Day. Im a mom. People make such a big deal for one day. Celebrate everyday.

[Anonymous]

Mother Your Own Business

Other people's happiness is not a crime against you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mother Your Own Business

Other people's happiness is not a crime against you.

Something tells me that if a childfree-by-choice woman is put out or feels neglected if she isn’t recognized/feted on Mother’s Day, she isn’t happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom here. Who cares? It doesn’t take away from me. I woke up this morning to hugs and kisses from my kids and everyone else can do whatever makes them happy.

This. I only expect my kids and husband to celebrate me on Mother’s Day. Don’t care one bit what anyone else does.

[Anonymous]

How does it impact you if someone else wants to give themselves a card from their dog on Mother's Day? Anyway, the whole thing is just another Hallmark marketing idea, so maybe save the outrage for something that actually matters, like the lack of affordable childcare or paid leave.