Advice needed - 91 year old dad is suddenly exhausted and has no appetite

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I am so happy to hear your dad is back home, amd enjoying his family..

Thank you, that means a lot. One of my younger brothers came home for the weekend to say goodbye, and it really perked my Dad up. Now that he's gone my Dad is starting to fade again. I'm lucky at 46 I've never really has to deal with someone dying and I'm learning a lot of lessons. It doesn't have to be as traumatic as it initially felt. We are way more laid back now about his care, paying attention only to his wants and needs. It's revelatory to give up on the stress of trying to keep him alive. Other PPs mentioned this very early in this thread and they were right.

Hugs to you and your family OP. Aren't hospice workers the greatest people on earth? I hope your dad has many happy and peaceful days at home.

They really are great (aside from some lack of communication, but I'm chalking that up to how quickly everything happened). We went with a hospice aide company and were told they could do everything (change his dressings, flush his drainage tube, give him medication, etc). Turns out some will and some won't. Trying to get that figured out because my mom can't do it (she has arthritic fingers and can't grasp the cap on the tube to flush it, can't open the bandage package), and I need to go back to work.

But overall, the hospice people have been amazing.

[Anonymous]

OP here with a question, hoping someone might be able to weigh in. My Dad has been on IV antibiotics for 7 days in hospital and now augmentin at home on hospice for 3 days. He has a terribly sore throat. It looks like strep but i can't imagine he'd have strep while on all those antibiotics. He does not have a fever. Could it be thrush? If so, does anyone have any advice on how to treat thrush, reduce the discomfort etc? THANKS!

[Anonymous]

Ugh poor guy! Thrush is really painful and he will likely need a prescription rinse to get rid of it. Good luck. Your dad is lucky to have you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here with a question, hoping someone might be able to weigh in. My Dad has been on IV antibiotics for 7 days in hospital and now augmentin at home on hospice for 3 days. He has a terribly sore throat. It looks like strep but i can't imagine he'd have strep while on all those antibiotics. He does not have a fever. Could it be thrush? If so, does anyone have any advice on how to treat thrush, reduce the discomfort etc? THANKS!

Thrush is a not uncommon side effect of antibiotics, so that would be my guess. Prescription meds/rinse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here with a question, hoping someone might be able to weigh in. My Dad has been on IV antibiotics for 7 days in hospital and now augmentin at home on hospice for 3 days. He has a terribly sore throat. It looks like strep but i can't imagine he'd have strep while on all those antibiotics. He does not have a fever. Could it be thrush? If so, does anyone have any advice on how to treat thrush, reduce the discomfort etc? THANKS!

Could be fibrosis .

[Anonymous]

My guess is thrush (not an MD but my husband is a hospice / pall med doc). Thrush can be extremely painful, you should call the nurse today. He can get a lidocaine liquid for his throat. No need to suffer!

[Anonymous]

Hi all - op here. Thanks so much for weighing in and for kind words. It was thrush and the swish and swallow medicine really helped. My dad seems to be slipping away (he's sleeping 20+ hours per day and not eating). But when he is awake he is strong and present and able to smile and laugh. He's not really in pain and when he is we have meds for that. The concern for me is now c diff. He started having really awful diarrhea yesterday. Imodium helped but the nurse is coming today to evaluate. I think if he does have c diff they're going to take him off his antibiotics and then the infection in his liver (assuming it's still in there) will come back. As good as it is for him to be present and laughing when he is awake, there's a big part of me that hopes he dies soon and doesn't have to deal with the suffering of c diff or the fevers and sickness he feels when he's off antibiotics...so this morning I'm feeling sad and anxious about what could be right around the corner.

[Anonymous]

No advice from me. Just hugs to you, OP, from a friendly internet stranger.

[Anonymous]

Hugs, op. We're thinking of you.

[Anonymous]

So sorry OP. Sending positive thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi all - op here. Thanks so much for weighing in and for kind words. It was thrush and the swish and swallow medicine really helped. My dad seems to be slipping away (he's sleeping 20+ hours per day and not eating). But when he is awake he is strong and present and able to smile and laugh. He's not really in pain and when he is we have meds for that. The concern for me is now c diff. He started having really awful diarrhea yesterday. Imodium helped but the nurse is coming today to evaluate. I think if he does have c diff they're going to take him off his antibiotics and then the infection in his liver (assuming it's still in there) will come back. As good as it is for him to be present and laughing when he is awake, there's a big part of me that hopes he dies soon and doesn't have to deal with the suffering of c diff or the fevers and sickness he feels when he's off antibiotics...so this morning I'm feeling sad and anxious about what could be right around the corner.

I'm so sorry, OP. This sounds a lot like my dad at the end. Unfortunately, he was only in his 70s and it was all due to the cancer. But, the end with the sleeping most of the day, not eating and the diarrhea the week prior sounds very much the same. I wish you and your family all the best and I will be saying a prayer for you and your family.

[Anonymous]

Another PP from up thread who has been following. Thinking of you all today and sending peace.

[Anonymous]

OP, just some big, kind hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi all - op here. Thanks so much for weighing in and for kind words. It was thrush and the swish and swallow medicine really helped. My dad seems to be slipping away (he's sleeping 20+ hours per day and not eating). But when he is awake he is strong and present and able to smile and laugh. He's not really in pain and when he is we have meds for that. The concern for me is now c diff. He started having really awful diarrhea yesterday. Imodium helped but the nurse is coming today to evaluate. I think if he does have c diff they're going to take him off his antibiotics and then the infection in his liver (assuming it's still in there) will come back. As good as it is for him to be present and laughing when he is awake, there's a big part of me that hopes he dies soon and doesn't have to deal with the suffering of c diff or the fevers and sickness he feels when he's off antibiotics...so this morning I'm feeling sad and anxious about what could be right around the corner.

I'm so sorry, OP. This sounds a lot like my dad at the end. Unfortunately, he was only in his 70s and it was all due to the cancer. But, the end with the sleeping most of the day, not eating and the diarrhea the week prior sounds very much the same. I wish you and your family all the best and I will be saying a prayer for you and your family.

Yes, sounds like my father too during his last week. Don't be surprised OP if your dad rallies a bit one day, wakes up more, says he's hungry. My dad did that, we gave him a taste of a hamburger and watermelon, said a lot of "I love yous" and he went back to sleep, not to wake up again - he passed the next morning. The hospice nurse told us it's common to have that brief rally - your body musters all its strength to say goodbye - and to not let it fool you that he was getting better, but it was nice to have him back once more, even briefly.

Wishing you, your dad, your mom, all your family, peace and love.

[Anonymous]

Sending you and your father love and big, soft hugs. Keeping you both in my thoughts.