Advice needed - 91 year old dad is suddenly exhausted and has no appetite

[Anonymous]

This may seem off the wall, but does he spend time outside? Does he garden? Fatigue and lack of appetite are two early Lyme symptoms.

[Anonymous]

You say he is in great health but each additional post says more about his health declining. Get him to the doctor...

[Anonymous]

With fever, it could likely be an infection, and the PA could definitely check for a lot of things.

Have the discussion when you're there about him not wanting to go back to the hospital--talk about options to keep him out, and, if this looks like it isn't something simple, push for a deeper conversation of if this than that scenarios--if certain test are worth it or not if the next step would be palliative care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This may seem off the wall, but does he spend time outside? Does he garden? Fatigue and lack of appetite are two early Lyme symptoms.

Omg, you seem dim.

[Anonymous]

UTI’s are very common in the elderly and can cause symptoms like your Dad is having. I would take him to his regular doctor or to an Inova urgent care (not the same as ER). I’m not sure where you’re located, but there’s an Inova Urgent Care on Rolling Road in Springfield and the Inova Healthplex in Lorton. Both are good and the wait is probably less than at the ER. If it’s serious, they can arrange transport to the hospital.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does HE want? I know it's hard to think about but do you really want to get down the road where he will be put through painful procedures and end up dying in the hospital vs. comfortably at home? We've had this conversation with my father who is a similar age and been through some health crises. He is adamant that he will not go back to the hospital. He will be happy if a simple infection leads to a quick end. He would be so angry with us if we called an ambulance and forced him to the hospital. Doing so would be all our our needs, not his.

You need to have the end-of-life conversation with your father and respect his wishes.

+1000. My mother has said no more hospitals. At 91, I'd maybe go to the doctor but would not proceed down the road of test, hospitalizations, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d get him into the doc right away, as much as he doesn’t like it. The elderly can manifest things from as simple as a UTI, to as complex as a stroke, very differently than younger adults do.

His appetite and weakness may be related if he is dehydrated, as the elderly can become very dehydrated in a short amount of time.

Tbh, with a history of stoke, I’d be inclined to get him in sooner rather than later.

Thank you. Actually he just woke up and my mom took his temp and he does have a low grade fever....

His gp office is open (they have a PA) so I’m going to take him there I think. It’ll be difficult bc he’s so tired and I’m wondering if I should call an ambulance instead? I don’t want to waste resources, but maybe this merits an ambulance?

A PA is not at all qualified to diagnose your dad and odds are he/she will call an ambulance for your dad.
Has he been checked for prostate cancer? At his age and with those symptoms it’s a possibility.

A PA cam most certainly check for the usual suspects. UTI is exceedingly common in the elderly, as are low level respiratory infections that cause issues. They can check for hydration status. They can also do a very basic neurological and cardiac exam. They can do a quick review of any medications and determine if they may be the cause. Based on their findings, yes, a transfer to hospital may be needed, but it’s also important that the father feel comfortable, and avoiding sitting for hours in the ER is probably not going to do that.

A PA is not qualified or experienced to diagnose something like cancer which this man might have. Also, simple infections can cause a quick death in the elderly. I absolutely would not consult a PA for an elderly person - it could delay a diagnosis and a quick death could result.
A PA is good for acne or a sinus infection- not elder care.

Two PA’s misdiagnosed by teen DD’s pneumonia and gave her the wrong antibiotic and she ended up hospitalized. An elderly person would just pass away in that case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:UTI’s are very common in the elderly and can cause symptoms like your Dad is having. I would take him to his regular doctor or to an Inova urgent care (not the same as ER). I’m not sure where you’re located, but there’s an Inova Urgent Care on Rolling Road in Springfield and the Inova Healthplex in Lorton. Both are good and the wait is probably less than at the ER. If it’s serious, they can arrange transport to the hospital.

Elderly people actually die from UTI’s or end up hospitalized in grave condition from them for weeks. An elderly person needs a skilled, experienced doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d get him into the doc right away, as much as he doesn’t like it. The elderly can manifest things from as simple as a UTI, to as complex as a stroke, very differently than younger adults do.

His appetite and weakness may be related if he is dehydrated, as the elderly can become very dehydrated in a short amount of time.

Tbh, with a history of stoke, I’d be inclined to get him in sooner rather than later.

Thank you. Actually he just woke up and my mom took his temp and he does have a low grade fever....

His gp office is open (they have a PA) so I’m going to take him there I think. It’ll be difficult bc he’s so tired and I’m wondering if I should call an ambulance instead? I don’t want to waste resources, but maybe this merits an ambulance?

A PA is not at all qualified to diagnose your dad and odds are he/she will call an ambulance for your dad.
Has he been checked for prostate cancer? At his age and with those symptoms it’s a possibility.

A PA cam most certainly check for the usual suspects. UTI is exceedingly common in the elderly, as are low level respiratory infections that cause issues. They can check for hydration status. They can also do a very basic neurological and cardiac exam. They can do a quick review of any medications and determine if they may be the cause. Based on their findings, yes, a transfer to hospital may be needed, but it’s also important that the father feel comfortable, and avoiding sitting for hours in the ER is probably not going to do that.

A PA is not qualified or experienced to diagnose something like cancer which this man might have. Also, simple infections can cause a quick death in the elderly. I absolutely would not consult a PA for an elderly person - it could delay a diagnosis and a quick death could result.
A PA is good for acne or a sinus infection- not elder care.

Two PA’s misdiagnosed by teen DD’s pneumonia and gave her the wrong antibiotic and she ended up hospitalized. An elderly person would just pass away in that case.

If the person is ready, this can be a GOOD thing. The wishes of the individual need to be considered. At a certain point, not everything needs to be treated and the decision should be up to the elder. Of course, seek care if they want it but I strongly disagree with the PPs who've said OP should ignore her father's wishes and force him to go do a dr/hospital when he's said he doesn't want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:UTI’s are very common in the elderly and can cause symptoms like your Dad is having. I would take him to his regular doctor or to an Inova urgent care (not the same as ER). I’m not sure where you’re located, but there’s an Inova Urgent Care on Rolling Road in Springfield and the Inova Healthplex in Lorton. Both are good and the wait is probably less than at the ER. If it’s serious, they can arrange transport to the hospital.

This is good advice. I've been to Inova Urgent Care on Rolling Road and they have good doctors (emergency medicine specialists) and the wait times were reasonable even on a Saturday morning.

[Anonymous]

Both my grandfather and my father got to a point where they were old enough that they pretty much simply lost the will to live. It was very frustrating.

[Anonymous]

I'd echo the UTI symptoms... my 88 year old Grandfather started experiencing the symptoms your Dad has on a Thursday and was gone by Sunday. For him, and our family, it was a blessing - he was tired of living and missed my Grandmother who had passed away a year prior terribly. Keep us updated.

[Anonymous]

92 year old FIL had similar symptoms plus some blood in his urine. It ended up being a UTI. My mom is an ICU nurse and said they very regularly have seniors in the icu due to UTIs. FIL was hospitalized for almost a month but is okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:92 year old FIL had similar symptoms plus some blood in his urine. It ended up being a UTI. My mom is an ICU nurse and said they very regularly have seniors in the icu due to UTIs. FIL was hospitalized for almost a month but is okay.

If you don’t mind, could you explain why he was hospitalized for so long? We’re there complications? Is it really that hard to treat a UTI in an older person? Thanks for any answers and glad your FiL is doing better.

[Anonymous]

Most likely is a UTI. The symptoms they can produce in the elderly are crazy. My grandmother got full on hallucinations from one around 92 and was entirely back to normal 48 hours after starting antibiotics (and lived 4 more years). A UTI test is no big deal and can be done in an urgent care facility.