husband meeting up with female trainer and friends tonight out of town

[Anonymous]

He travels a lot for business. Are you now questioning past trips? How will you feel when he leaves for the next one?

Do you trust him? Can you trust him? Do you want to be married to someone who breaks trust?

I would not change locks on the doors or move just yet. I would get myself tested for STD's and stop sleeping with him, until I figured out the best way to end the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Wow, lot's of people stirring up drama. Including OP's husband.

Why on earth does he tell OP he is out with a young personal trainer in Vegas? Just go, stay behaved and keep it to yourself. What good does it do to let his wife be powerless and jealous?

Like, I am at a work conference. Sometimes, we have group dinners, and sometimes we go out after. And I may be out with young, attractive women who may be single and flirty. I don't tell my wife this, I just have a good time, keep my pants on and take the flirty fun to the mental rolodex.

[Anonymous]

I've only read the first page so far but I'm really sorry OP, I don't think his plan is okay, especially given the past, and the least he could do is shut the whole thing down. It's not like you're being randomly paranoid and he should respect that. The lack of response to any of the detailed questions you asked in your email would set me off too.

[Anonymous]

OP I get that you felt a bit better (until you saw the trainer and found she was really hot) but I still have to wonder why. It's awesome that he said he saw your perspective and everything, but this was AFTER he went to dinner. After he disrespected your wishes and did exactly what he wanted to do no matter how you felt about it. I imagine it would be rather easy to see your perspective after it's all said and done and he didn't have to change his plans. That would not be okay with me, and i wouldn't taken solace in that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised he is so honest with you. If I were planning on cheating I would never mention a thing. Maybe he just likes the idea that he could - he wants to have fun, live free for a night. Doesn’t mean he is hooking up. They could be friends. Btw. Is your husband as equally as hot and in shape as the trainer? I doubt it. You either trust him or you don’t. Just let him go and have fun. It means you have the same relaxed situation if it arises for you.

He probably told her for plausible deniability- how could you say I was cheating or planned to cheat if I told you where I was going? How dumb do you think I am? It's Player 102.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, lot's of people stirring up drama. Including OP's husband.

Why on earth does he tell OP he is out with a young personal trainer in Vegas? Just go, stay behaved and keep it to yourself. What good does it do to let his wife be powerless and jealous?

Like, I am at a work conference. Sometimes, we have group dinners, and sometimes we go out after. And I may be out with young, attractive women who may be single and flirty. I don't tell my wife this, I just have a good time, keep my pants on and take the flirty fun to the mental rolodex.

This is the perfect answer. The real question is why did he want to make her jealous and tell her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised he is so honest with you. If I were planning on cheating I would never mention a thing. Maybe he just likes the idea that he could - he wants to have fun, live free for a night. Doesn’t mean he is hooking up. They could be friends. Btw. Is your husband as equally as hot and in shape as the trainer? I doubt it. You either trust him or you don’t. Just let him go and have fun. It means you have the same relaxed situation if it arises for you.

He probably told her for plausible deniability- how could you say I was cheating or planned to cheat if I told you where I was going? How dumb do you think I am? It's Player 102.

Having dinner with a female friend is not cheating or a plan to cheat so I still don’t know why he told her.

[Anonymous]

Nope nope nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised he is so honest with you. If I were planning on cheating I would never mention a thing. Maybe he just likes the idea that he could - he wants to have fun, live free for a night. Doesn’t mean he is hooking up. They could be friends. Btw. Is your husband as equally as hot and in shape as the trainer? I doubt it. You either trust him or you don’t. Just let him go and have fun. It means you have the same relaxed situation if it arises for you.

He probably told her for plausible deniability- how could you say I was cheating or planned to cheat if I told you where I was going? How dumb do you think I am? It's Player 102.

This, and........

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, lot's of people stirring up drama. Including OP's husband.

Why on earth does he tell OP he is out with a young personal trainer in Vegas? Just go, stay behaved and keep it to yourself. What good does it do to let his wife be powerless and jealous?

Like, I am at a work conference. Sometimes, we have group dinners, and sometimes we go out after. And I may be out with young, attractive women who may be single and flirty. I don't tell my wife this, I just have a good time, keep my pants on and take the flirty fun to the mental rolodex.

This is the perfect answer. The real question is why did he want to make her jealous and tell her.

..........this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised he is so honest with you. If I were planning on cheating I would never mention a thing. Maybe he just likes the idea that he could - he wants to have fun, live free for a night. Doesn’t mean he is hooking up. They could be friends. Btw. Is your husband as equally as hot and in shape as the trainer? I doubt it. You either trust him or you don’t. Just let him go and have fun. It means you have the same relaxed situation if it arises for you.

He probably told her for plausible deniability- how could you say I was cheating or planned to cheat if I told you where I was going? How dumb do you think I am? It's Player 102.

Having dinner with a female friend is not cheating or a plan to cheat so I still don’t know why he told her.

Typically no it's not. But given his history of not knowing how to act it could be laying the foundation. And I doubt his occasional trainer who his wife previously didn't know existed actually falls into the friend category.

[Anonymous]

He is making going out with his trainer a priority. He is skipping work/event stuff, and intentionally pissing off/hurting his wife to do so. It was important to him to go.

[Anonymous]

At this point, you might as well post the link to her social media site. So these drama queen can cc her on their responses. Such a group of loser ....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At this point, you might as well post the link to her social media site. So these drama queen can cc her on their responses. Such a group of loser ....

Who are the losers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Well now I’m upset all over . I asked him last night to give me her name but then we got sidetracked. He said she’s “not all that attractive.” Well this am I asked again her name, looked her up on social media and she’s drop dead gorgeous. Like could easily be a model and extremely fit. So that was a lie...

Of course she’s fit. He likely didn’t want to say “she’s hot as hell!” I agree he lied but am not surprised he felt he needed to.

Can I ask you why you care if he cheats? I’m NOT saying you should let him, but what is the issue? You’re afraid he’ll find someone better and leave you? You don’t want to worry about VD? You feel rejected if he sleeps with someone else?

I don’t want an open marriage. I need to be able to trust the person I’m spending my life with. Doesn’t seem to insist a need.