Host informs parents "don't bring your monsters"

[Anonymous]

Ride^^<notbride

[Anonymous]

I'm calling it now that when this guy gets married, he will be either eloping (possibly with all his friends and his wife's side of the family!) or simply forgetting to let his entire family know that he's getting married.

[Anonymous]

Actually, when this guy gets married and has monsters, he will be the one who brings them to every event and will talk to everyone about how gifted they are.

OP, I think it was fine for you to make clear to your cousins that they were rude. If a family member can't tell you you are being a jerk, who can?

[Anonymous]

OP here,

I contacted them both privately. It's not like I put it all out there for everyone to read. I sent the message more so for the 30 y/o mother (my aunt). She is upset with his post and wants him to take it down. I have no special relationship with my cousin obviously but I did not think it would hurt for him to hear from another family member that his was post causing so much drama. It was not well received and I was told where I could go. I am not going to bring it up again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

I contacted them both privately. It's not like I put it all out there for everyone to read. I sent the message more so for the 30 y/o mother (my aunt). She is upset with his post and wants him to take it down. I have no special relationship with my cousin obviously but I did not think it would hurt for him to hear from another family member that his was post causing so much drama. It was not well received and I was told where I could go. I am not going to bring it up again.

Wow, you just can't let it go, can you? You are a busybody and doing no one any favors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

I contacted them both privately. It's not like I put it all out there for everyone to read. I sent the message more so for the 30 y/o mother (my aunt). She is upset with his post and wants him to take it down. I have no special relationship with my cousin obviously but I did not think it would hurt for him to hear from another family member that his was post causing so much drama. It was not well received and I was told where I could go. I am not going to bring it up again.

Wow, you just can't let it go, can you? You are a busybody and doing no one any favors.

I don't think I am a busybody for privately asking him to remove his post. He does not even care how upset his own mom is over this. He had a point to prove but to be so rude?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

I contacted them both privately. It's not like I put it all out there for everyone to read. I sent the message more so for the 30 y/o mother (my aunt). She is upset with his post and wants him to take it down. I have no special relationship with my cousin obviously but I did not think it would hurt for him to hear from another family member that his was post causing so much drama. It was not well received and I was told where I could go. I am not going to bring it up again.

"I thought it wouldn't hurt to ..." is often a good sign that you're being entitled.

"I thought it wouldn't hurt to bring our munchkins to a coming-of-age drinking party."
"I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask the host to provide a babysitter for us so we don't need to do it."
"I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask that they rent another room so my kids could have a private party while the actual party is going on."
"I thought it wouldn't hurt to tell the person who wrote an invitation who didn't want me there anywhere and invited me only to try to be inclusive that the way he wrote the invitation offended me."
"I thought it wouldn't hurt for him to hear it from yet another family member that his words - that he obviously didn't choose to use originally but turned out to be very required - were getting all of us entitled nut cases in a tizzy."

Entitled, entitled, entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm calling it now that when this guy gets married, he will be either eloping (possibly with all his friends and his wife's side of the family!) or simply forgetting to let his entire family know that he's getting married.

Yep. Another vote for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those asking ot change plans or provide a babysitter are way out of line. You don't dictate the rules of someone else's party!! WTF? And why would you WANT to bring a kid to that type of party? What is wrong with you?

But, your cousin is a raging dick. I probably would not go on principle b/c of that. There is a way to act and convey information that is both firm in its boundary and still polite. He was a dick. I don't deal with dicks, family or not.

I am less bothered by referring to children as "monsters" (even though they can be) than by accusing invitees of being cheap (even though they probably are). In the spirit of "'No' is a complete answer, he could have limited his response:

"I have received some inquiries about if children were allowed at the party. I should have been clear at the beginning, I suppose, but this is not a party for kids. This is a 21st birthday."

And you could have limited yourself to not jumping into a situation that didn't involve you. It doesn't seem like restraint is a trait that runs in your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's the height of lameness to invite so many family members to a 21st birthday party. Hell, I'd rather have complete strangers at a raging 21st birthday party than my lame older cousins and relatives.

Maybe the clueless people asking about bringing children thought this was like a family party. Because who the F invites so many relatives to a club-style party??

I'm picturing Jersey Shore here.

Yes, who would want anyone under the age of 21 anywhere near this party? They might get drunk on the fumes.

It sounds like they "had" to invite relatives and wanted to be clear children should not come.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around family organizing a 21st birthday party and inviting the entire extended family. Why?

That said, I can sort of see where people thought this was basically a family reunion and assumed everyone in the family would be welcomed. Hosts (not the soon-to-be 21 year old. Sounds like he's innocent of this drama) needed to address this from the get go. That's their failing.

But, again, who has a family 21st birthday party? How weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

I contacted them both privately. It's not like I put it all out there for everyone to read. I sent the message more so for the 30 y/o mother (my aunt). She is upset with his post and wants him to take it down. I have no special relationship with my cousin obviously but I did not think it would hurt for him to hear from another family member that his was post causing so much drama. It was not well received and I was told where I could go. I am not going to bring it up again.

Wow, you just can't let it go, can you? You are a busybody and doing no one any favors.

I don't think I am a busybody for privately asking him to remove his post. He does not even care how upset his own mom is over this. He had a point to prove but to be so rude?!

That is between him and his mom, who asked you to get involved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's the height of lameness to invite so many family members to a 21st birthday party. Hell, I'd rather have complete strangers at a raging 21st birthday party than my lame older cousins and relatives.

Maybe the clueless people asking about bringing children thought this was like a family party. Because who the F invites so many relatives to a club-style party??

I'm picturing Jersey Shore here.

Yes, who would want anyone under the age of 21 anywhere near this party? They might get drunk on the fumes.

It sounds like they "had" to invite relatives and wanted to be clear children should not come.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around family organizing a 21st birthday party and inviting the entire extended family. Why?

That said, I can sort of see where people thought this was basically a family reunion and assumed everyone in the family would be welcomed. Hosts (not the soon-to-be 21 year old. Sounds like he's innocent of this drama) needed to address this from the get go. That's their failing.

But, again, who has a family 21st birthday party? How weird.

My guess is that he's throwing her a fun party with friends as well, there are some relatives who would be fun to have the party (especially similarly-aged cousins), and that the invitation was then extended to the broader family so no one would get upset about being left out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's the height of lameness to invite so many family members to a 21st birthday party. Hell, I'd rather have complete strangers at a raging 21st birthday party than my lame older cousins and relatives.

Maybe the clueless people asking about bringing children thought this was like a family party. Because who the F invites so many relatives to a club-style party??

I'm picturing Jersey Shore here.

Yes, who would want anyone under the age of 21 anywhere near this party? They might get drunk on the fumes.

It sounds like they "had" to invite relatives and wanted to be clear children should not come.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around family organizing a 21st birthday party and inviting the entire extended family. Why?

That said, I can sort of see where people thought this was basically a family reunion and assumed everyone in the family would be welcomed. Hosts (not the soon-to-be 21 year old. Sounds like he's innocent of this drama) needed to address this from the get go. That's their failing.

But, again, who has a family 21st birthday party? How weird.

Do you seriously need to ask that question? Haven't you figured it out by now? Clearly, it wasn't their choice, but the birthday boy's family members are totally obnoxious. They'd probably gatecrash the event even if they weren't invited. They think they're ENTITLED to be there, just because.

[Anonymous]

OP here,

I would not classify this as a family party at all. Her friends will out number the family members who are attending. Only the 20 and early 30s family members are going. Some of those have children and I agree were totally out of line asking him to provide childcare and a party room for their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

I contacted them both privately. It's not like I put it all out there for everyone to read. I sent the message more so for the 30 y/o mother (my aunt). She is upset with his post and wants him to take it down. I have no special relationship with my cousin obviously but I did not think it would hurt for him to hear from another family member that his was post causing so much drama. It was not well received and I was told where I could go. I am not going to bring it up again.

"I thought it wouldn't hurt to ..." is often a good sign that you're being entitled.

"I thought it wouldn't hurt to bring our munchkins to a coming-of-age drinking party."
"I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask the host to provide a babysitter for us so we don't need to do it."
"I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask that they rent another room so my kids could have a private party while the actual party is going on."
"I thought it wouldn't hurt to tell the person who wrote an invitation who didn't want me there anywhere and invited me only to try to be inclusive that the way he wrote the invitation offended me."
"I thought it wouldn't hurt for him to hear it from yet another family member that his words - that he obviously didn't choose to use originally but turned out to be very required - were getting all of us entitled nut cases in a tizzy."

Entitled, entitled, entitled.

Yep, this.