Do the existence of SAHM impede professional women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won’t work for men who have SAHMs. I’m an associate in biglaw with some control over who I will work for, and I just won’t do it.

I think this attitude is becoming more common. I've heard it expressed from others (and not just women but also men with partners who don't SAH).

I am a WOHM and I think it's a ridiculous approach. Personally I would have missed out on the best manager of my career if I'd adopted it. I don't like having assumptions made about me; why should I make them about others?

Glad you found managers you had wonderful experiences with. So have I: men with working wives, moms, and childless women.

Childless women and women who never put their children ahead of work are typically the absolute worse managers for parents looking for any degree of work life flexibility. Issues of envy and regret.

Yes, but not always envy and regret; often general cluelessness to the realities of parenthood and focused only on "I am woman; You are woman; I can do X, so you must also do X my way."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won’t work for men who have SAHMs. I’m an associate in biglaw with some control over who I will work for, and I just won’t do it.

How very close-minded and discriminatory of you.

Sounds like a troll or a very stupid lawyer.

Since nothing in this decision-making process has anything to do with lawyer skills, you sound hurt and angry, and lashing out on my talents as a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won’t work for men who have SAHMs. I’m an associate in biglaw with some control over who I will work for, and I just won’t do it.

I think this attitude is becoming more common. I've heard it expressed from others (and not just women but also men with partners who don't SAH).

I am a WOHM and I think it's a ridiculous approach. Personally I would have missed out on the best manager of my career if I'd adopted it. I don't like having assumptions made about me; why should I make them about others?

Glad you found managers you had wonderful experiences with. So have I: men with working wives, moms, and childless women.

Childless women and women who never put their children ahead of work are typically the absolute worse managers for parents looking for any degree of work life flexibility. Issues of envy and regret.

+6 million. The worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won’t work for men who have SAHMs. I’m an associate in biglaw with some control over who I will work for, and I just won’t do it.

How very close-minded and discriminatory of you.

Sounds like a troll or a very stupid lawyer.

Since nothing in this decision-making process has anything to do with lawyer skills, you sound hurt and angry, and lashing out on my talents as a lawyer.

Nope, you sound like a complete idiot
-another lawyer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won’t work for men who have SAHMs. I’m an associate in biglaw with some control over who I will work for, and I just won’t do it.

How very close-minded and discriminatory of you.

Sounds like a troll or a very stupid lawyer.

Since nothing in this decision-making process has anything to do with lawyer skills, you sound hurt and angry, and lashing out on my talents as a lawyer.

The fact that you said "lawyer skills" makes me think troll / not actually a lawyer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won’t work for men who have SAHMs. I’m an associate in biglaw with some control over who I will work for, and I just won’t do it.

I think this attitude is becoming more common. I've heard it expressed from others (and not just women but also men with partners who don't SAH).

I am a WOHM and I think it's a ridiculous approach. Personally I would have missed out on the best manager of my career if I'd adopted it. I don't like having assumptions made about me; why should I make them about others?

Glad you found managers you had wonderful experiences with. So have I: men with working wives, moms, and childless women.

I've also had those, and they have also been good or at least not a problem. My worst manager was a man whose wife worked, but only a small number of hours per week. I don't think him being a bad manager had anything to do with his wife. He was just a bad manager and would have been one regardless of his wife's status. I just think it's silly to say you won't work for a man with a SAHM wife. People are individuals.

I don't know. I feel this way about my kids have teachers who don't have children, too. People who don't live the experience of sharing responsibility for a busy household outside of working hours just flat underestimate how difficult it can be, and make demands/assumptions that are ridiculous. I'm sure there are plenty of exceptions, but most of us experienced this about having kids, so why wouldn't it be the same with other major life experiences?

So how does it follow that childless women who be preferable as managers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won’t work for men who have SAHMs. I’m an associate in biglaw with some control over who I will work for, and I just won’t do it.

How very close-minded and discriminatory of you.

Sounds like a troll or a very stupid lawyer.

Since nothing in this decision-making process has anything to do with lawyer skills, you sound hurt and angry, and lashing out on my talents as a lawyer.

The fact that you said "lawyer skills" makes me think troll / not actually a lawyer

I almost went back to correct it to lawyering but then I was too lazy. Anyway, attacking anything controversial a lawyer posts as evidence that they're a shit lawyer is a DCUM cliche. It's dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won’t work for men who have SAHMs. I’m an associate in biglaw with some control over who I will work for, and I just won’t do it.

Haha wow. You sound like a total weirdo with some major issues

Exactly. At my big law firm, nearly all the women equity partners had sah or barely working spouses.

totally different from a 65 year old guy with a wife who never worked. obviously.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Too many variables.

[Anonymous]

Not in my world. I work in an office with a great atmosphere/work-life balance. That is true for all members of our team--single, married with no kids, married with kids, etc. We all leave by 5 p.m., and if we ever are running late in the morning, all we hear is, "Stay safe--see you when you get here."

If someone needs to leave early--whether it's to catch a school play or pick up their boyfriend at the airport--it's no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not in my world. I work in an office with a great atmosphere/work-life balance. That is true for all members of our team--single, married with no kids, married with kids, etc. We all leave by 5 p.m., and if we ever are running late in the morning, all we hear is, "Stay safe--see you when you get here."

If someone needs to leave early--whether it's to catch a school play or pick up their boyfriend at the airport--it's no big deal.

+1 Sounds exactly like mine, I love my company. I’m the only woman on my team but we have a big mix of ages and family situations so not the only one dealing with being a parent at the same time. If I’m going to be honest though, I do think it helps that the top managers all have kids and wives who work, so they’re dealing with the same issues I am when it comes to snow days, sick kids, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won’t work for men who have SAHMs. I’m an associate in biglaw with some control over who I will work for, and I just won’t do it.

How very close-minded and discriminatory of you.

Sounds like a troll or a very stupid lawyer.

Since nothing in this decision-making process has anything to do with lawyer skills, you sound hurt and angry, and lashing out on my talents as a lawyer.

Nope, just another more experienced big law lawyer who knows no good will come to an associate with this type of entitled attitude, putting aside the utter ridiculous nature of the underlying premise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won’t work for men who have SAHMs. I’m an associate in biglaw with some control over who I will work for, and I just won’t do it.

Haha wow. You sound like a total weirdo with some major issues

Exactly. At my big law firm, nearly all the women equity partners had sah or barely working spouses.

totally different from a 65 year old guy with a wife who never worked. obviously.

Very few 65 year olds in active practice these daya due to mandatory retirement ages. In most cases, whether male or female, the sah spouse worked until the juggle ceased to make sense for the couple.

[Anonymous]

It never ceases to amaze me how nothing is ever the fault of a millennial, they always look for someoneelse to blame.

[Anonymous]

I would say the existence of professional women impedes SAHM more than the other way around