Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...

[Anonymous]

Airline points aren't the only "points" people travel on. We use points from our credit card to book hotels and flights (thanks chase sapphire reserve). The assumption that people are lying to you because they feel so sorry that you have less is a little silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't go out of our way to advertise it like some people with public social media followings do (i.e. all the Instagram moms - gag me) but it's probably obvious to people who pay attention to stuff like that - SAHM to 4 kids, nice house in an expensive area, nice cars and vacations, kids in pricey extracurricular activities, etc.

Honestly though it's no different to how the people around us live except we have no debt and high savings.

The people all around have tons of debt and no savings? How on earth do you know about your neighbors finances?

I don't. I'm going by what people are saying in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Airline points aren't the only "points" people travel on. We use points from our credit card to book hotels and flights (thanks chase sapphire reserve). The assumption that people are lying to you because they feel so sorry that you have less is a little silly.

The reason I think people on this thread are resentful (which btw is kind of pathetic) is that you need a great credit score and you need to spend a pretty substantial amount of money to have enough credit card points to book trips. So people acting like they don't have a ton of money even though they are using points is offensive, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have no debt, zip, zilch, zero. I am a fed and my parents gifted me a large down payment, which I used to buy a house in PG outright. I still drive my car from college but we bought our newer car with cash. It is easy to accumulate money without a mortgage and a lot of my friends with fancier jobs see that I am frugal and think I am poorer than them. Recently my child was sick and my friend asked if I needed money. I told her insurance covered everything and I am fine, but it was nice of her to offer.

Why do you need your parents to give you money?

Wanted to add: you are debt free because your parents float you. So you can sit down and shut up.

Sheesh why the hostility? What other people do with their money is not really something for you to get upset about. Some people buy fancy cars and handbags but my parents used their savings to help me buy my home. Judging from the prices in this area the money I was gifted was a pretty typical amount and many, many families are supporting their children this way. I also arranged my life so that I had no debt after law school which is not an easy feat, and I had no help with that other than scholarships. I could easily afford a home in Bethesda or whatever with my income and I chose a more modest area, and I think it was a good choice. But now people actually think I am struggling. You should be happy I didn't contribute to the crazy inflated prices in this area.

The hostility comes from you implying that you are debt free because of hard work. Your parents gave you money. I don't care that they did this but annoyed st your presentation that you're well off because you aren't if people give you money. Great they did that but you can't claim anything other than lucky to have parents who fund your lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have no debt, zip, zilch, zero. I am a fed and my parents gifted me a large down payment, which I used to buy a house in PG outright. I still drive my car from college but we bought our newer car with cash. It is easy to accumulate money without a mortgage and a lot of my friends with fancier jobs see that I am frugal and think I am poorer than them. Recently my child was sick and my friend asked if I needed money. I told her insurance covered everything and I am fine, but it was nice of her to offer.

Why do you need your parents to give you money?

Wanted to add: you are debt free because your parents float you. So you can sit down and shut up.

Sheesh why the hostility? What other people do with their money is not really something for you to get upset about. Some people buy fancy cars and handbags but my parents used their savings to help me buy my home. Judging from the prices in this area the money I was gifted was a pretty typical amount and many, many families are supporting their children this way. I also arranged my life so that I had no debt after law school which is not an easy feat, and I had no help with that other than scholarships. I could easily afford a home in Bethesda or whatever with my income and I chose a more modest area, and I think it was a good choice. But now people actually think I am struggling. You should be happy I didn't contribute to the crazy inflated prices in this area.

The hostility comes from you implying that you are debt free because of hard work. Your parents gave you money. I don't care that they did this but annoyed st your presentation that you're well off because you aren't if people give you money. Great they did that but you can't claim anything other than lucky to have parents who fund your lifestyle.

What's the difference? Got lucky with your own genetics to be able to earn money (hard work is talent, hard work combined with abilities is not common and is double talent, hard work plus abilities plus four-hour sleeper = score/very rare) or got lucky with parents who gave you money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Airline points aren't the only "points" people travel on. We use points from our credit card to book hotels and flights (thanks chase sapphire reserve). The assumption that people are lying to you because they feel so sorry that you have less is a little silly.

I have an airline credit card, too. Even using it for most purchases does not give me free airline tickets multiple times per year for my family of 4. And I spend a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have no debt, zip, zilch, zero. I am a fed and my parents gifted me a large down payment, which I used to buy a house in PG outright. I still drive my car from college but we bought our newer car with cash. It is easy to accumulate money without a mortgage and a lot of my friends with fancier jobs see that I am frugal and think I am poorer than them. Recently my child was sick and my friend asked if I needed money. I told her insurance covered everything and I am fine, but it was nice of her to offer.

Why do you need your parents to give you money?

Wanted to add: you are debt free because your parents float you. So you can sit down and shut up.

Sheesh why the hostility? What other people do with their money is not really something for you to get upset about. Some people buy fancy cars and handbags but my parents used their savings to help me buy my home. Judging from the prices in this area the money I was gifted was a pretty typical amount and many, many families are supporting their children this way. I also arranged my life so that I had no debt after law school which is not an easy feat, and I had no help with that other than scholarships. I could easily afford a home in Bethesda or whatever with my income and I chose a more modest area, and I think it was a good choice. But now people actually think I am struggling. You should be happy I didn't contribute to the crazy inflated prices in this area.

The hostility comes from you implying that you are debt free because of hard work. Your parents gave you money. I don't care that they did this but annoyed st your presentation that you're well off because you aren't if people give you money. Great they did that but you can't claim anything other than lucky to have parents who fund your lifestyle.

What's the difference? Got lucky with your own genetics to be able to earn money (hard work is talent, hard work combined with abilities is not common and is double talent, hard work plus abilities plus four-hour sleeper = score/very rare) or got lucky with parents who gave you money.

This is why people don't talk when they have money, particularly family money. The jealousy and claws come out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have no debt, zip, zilch, zero. I am a fed and my parents gifted me a large down payment, which I used to buy a house in PG outright. I still drive my car from college but we bought our newer car with cash. It is easy to accumulate money without a mortgage and a lot of my friends with fancier jobs see that I am frugal and think I am poorer than them. Recently my child was sick and my friend asked if I needed money. I told her insurance covered everything and I am fine, but it was nice of her to offer.

Why do you need your parents to give you money?

Wanted to add: you are debt free because your parents float you. So you can sit down and shut up.

Sheesh why the hostility? What other people do with their money is not really something for you to get upset about. Some people buy fancy cars and handbags but my parents used their savings to help me buy my home. Judging from the prices in this area the money I was gifted was a pretty typical amount and many, many families are supporting their children this way. I also arranged my life so that I had no debt after law school which is not an easy feat, and I had no help with that other than scholarships. I could easily afford a home in Bethesda or whatever with my income and I chose a more modest area, and I think it was a good choice. But now people actually think I am struggling. You should be happy I didn't contribute to the crazy inflated prices in this area.

The hostility comes from you implying that you are debt free because of hard work. Your parents gave you money. I don't care that they did this but annoyed st your presentation that you're well off because you aren't if people give you money. Great they did that but you can't claim anything other than lucky to have parents who fund your lifestyle.

I did not really imply I was self-made because I said in the second sentence that my parents gifted me a large down payment. Pretending to be self-made would have left that part out! Nor is the thread only about self-made people. You need to deal with the reality that in our society, a lot of people are coasting on family money. Advocate for changes in the tax code if it upsets you that much. I don't really pretend otherwise. I could work at a much harder job, make a ton of money, and see my children less. Or I could live in a more elite area and financially strain my family. But I don't want to do that, nor do I have to. I could afford my house without family money on my salary, so you are incorrect that I only have my "lifestyle" because I am funded by my family. I live the same lifestyle either way. I am comfortable with that, because no one really gives a shit how much money you made or how good you were at your extremely time-consuming job when you're dead. I've made my choices, but you seem angry, and you should figure out why you are lashing out at anons on the internet instead of getting where you want to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not as rich as the article but we do live well below our means, and because of our housing choice (modest home in middle class neighborhood with good schools) and the friends we enjoy, I definitely tell white lies or lies of omission often. I.e.: most of my friends lease or have a car loan. We pay cash, but I'd never admit it. I could drive a loaded Suburban but drive a mid level Odyssey because I just prefer that image. My clothes and handbags are Loft/Target/TJ Maxx. I buy the kids LL Bean outwear instead of North Face or Patagonia just because it feels less conspicuous to me - it's not really much cheaper. That Tory Burch logo makes me cringe. I claim our travel is on "points" so it seems less expensive. Stuff like that. We don't give our kids crazy expensive presents or buy them Uggs, but when the time comes they can attend the college of their choice debt free.

You sound like my twin.

I see your point, but with the stock market going gangbusters this year (up 14 percent), it's smarter to invest your cash than take on a loan that is likely costing you no more than 2-3 percent (and many times 0 percent when dealers are having events). My investment accounts are going bonkers and I've made much more money than I would save by buying a car with cash.

How do you know this? I have never discussed how we own our car with anyone. We paid cash.

[Anonymous]

I thought most people we know likely think we have a much higher income than we do.

We live in a house we bought for $200k that is now worth nearly $1m. We eat out a lot and we go on a lot of trips and vacations. A LOT. But we use points and deals all the time and I'm an excellent frugal travel shopper. We've had some amazing trips, including a two week trip to the SW for less than $2k incl air fare (family of four), regular trips to Europe and to Maine every summer. But our vacation budget so far this year has been less than $3k. If it comes up I'll share my travel tips, but sometimes I'm embarrassed how our travels may appear to others.

Our income is actually about $95k with a stay at home spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought most people we know likely think we have a much higher income than we do.

We live in a house we bought for $200k that is now worth nearly $1m. We eat out a lot and we go on a lot of trips and vacations. A LOT. But we use points and deals all the time and I'm an excellent frugal travel shopper. We've had some amazing trips, including a two week trip to the SW for less than $2k incl air fare (family of four), regular trips to Europe and to Maine every summer. But our vacation budget so far this year has been less than $3k. If it comes up I'll share my travel tips, but sometimes I'm embarrassed how our travels may appear to others.

Our income is actually about $95k with a stay at home spouse.

What is SW?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Obvious example is when our cars are pictured in the background of photos, I don't post them to FB. it feels too much like bragging. I would also never post photos that include my luxury brand Gand bags, unlike some try hards I know.

Really? What kind of cars do you have that would make people think you are bragging???

H has an Audi s6 and a Porsche Baxter S and I have a Lexus GX.

Dude, you don't qualify. You are the epitome of obnoxious "look at me! look at me!" wealth, otherwise you wouldn't have bought a Porsche. Show yourself out.

Why is looking at wealth obnoxious? Would you rather look at poverty? Both are contagious so I'll take the wealth please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting. My husband came from money, and we've had some help, but mostly we live a typical middle class lifestyle. Both work, drive the same cars for 15+ years, I wear modest diamond rings, handed down from both our grandmothers.
You wouldn't suspect the trust we have, and I think that's probably a good thing. I'm concerned for our safety. I want my kids to look neat and my home nice, but I don't want to draw too much attention. There's a lot of unrest these days. I get nervous.

You should be scared. All the wealth of our nation can not keep going to a small privileged few without violence erupting. It will happen.

Maybe give your money to charity now?

Please, you are delusional. The US is headed to developing country status and if you look at all other developing countries, you'll see what's happening here. There's a small and privileged upper class, a huge lower class, and a middle class that's doing barely better. The wealthy are good at adapting to this situation, and keep the lower classes in line by throwing out scapegoats and manufactured issues to fight over like dogs. So no, the French Revolution will not be happening again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought most people we know likely think we have a much higher income than we do.

We live in a house we bought for $200k that is now worth nearly $1m. We eat out a lot and we go on a lot of trips and vacations. A LOT. But we use points and deals all the time and I'm an excellent frugal travel shopper. We've had some amazing trips, including a two week trip to the SW for less than $2k incl air fare (family of four), regular trips to Europe and to Maine every summer. But our vacation budget so far this year has been less than $3k. If it comes up I'll share my travel tips, but sometimes I'm embarrassed how our travels may appear to others.

Our income is actually about $95k with a stay at home spouse.

What is SW?

is this in the DMV?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not as rich as the article but we do live well below our means, and because of our housing choice (modest home in middle class neighborhood with good schools) and the friends we enjoy, I definitely tell white lies or lies of omission often. I.e.: most of my friends lease or have a car loan. We pay cash, but I'd never admit it. I could drive a loaded Suburban but drive a mid level Odyssey because I just prefer that image. My clothes and handbags are Loft/Target/TJ Maxx. I buy the kids LL Bean outwear instead of North Face or Patagonia just because it feels less conspicuous to me - it's not really much cheaper. That Tory Burch logo makes me cringe. I claim our travel is on "points" so it seems less expensive. Stuff like that. We don't give our kids crazy expensive presents or buy them Uggs, but when the time comes they can attend the college of their choice debt free.

+1
We must be living parallel lives. I can't stand outward displays of wealth, so no one would really know that we are wealthy.

But I can't tell from the post if she's wealthy OR saving for college and making a choice about where to out her money (no to Uggs but yes to a 529). The last sentence seems to indicate she's upper middle class, could afford luxury items but is instead squirreling it away for college one day. That's different than OP's question of hiding your wealth. That's making a choice about where to out your money.