Why do you let your kid run around at a restaurant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Restaurant patrons, of which there are presumably thousands, do have a right to eat in a restaurant without disturbance from other people. If you think that is entitlement, rather than one person going against the grain because its easier for them, then I'm not sure what to tell you.

No, they don't. They may have a desire to. They may have an expectation of it. But they don't have a right to it. They do not have a right to not be disturbed by witnessing other people's behavior when in a public place.

What if, instead of a child with special needs, it were an adult with special needs? Would you similarly demand that this person were required to stay home, lest they disturb you?

In the meantime, perhaps consider sticking to restaurants that exclude children. If there are so many thousands of restaurant patrons who share your beliefs, there must be restaurants like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Other patrons can continue to dine at the restaurant; I am not going to spend my hard earned money so I can accommodate the behavior issues of an SN child.

OK, then don't. Find a different restaurant to go to.

[Anonymous]

My kid is a saint in restaurants. I don't feel like it's anything we've done as parents, so I'm not going to give myself a cramp by trying to pat myself on the back.

Seeing as I feel like I've had little to do with the toddler phenomenon of being well-behaved in a restaurant, I similarly assume people with crazy children just have children with "spirited" temperaments. Could those kids use more parental direction? Probably. But I can cut people a little slack when it looks like that's their day in and day out existence that seems much more trying than my own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Other patrons can continue to dine at the restaurant; I am not going to spend my hard earned money so I can accommodate the behavior issues of an SN child.

OK, then don't. Find a different restaurant to go to.

If management doesn't insist that a parent or other family member control a misbehaving child, then yes I will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is a saint in restaurants. I don't feel like it's anything we've done as parents, so I'm not going to give myself a cramp by trying to pat myself on the back.

Seeing as I feel like I've had little to do with the toddler phenomenon of being well-behaved in a restaurant, I similarly assume people with crazy children just have children with "spirited" temperaments. Could those kids use more parental direction? Probably. But I can cut people a little slack when it looks like that's their day in and day out existence that seems much more trying than my own.

Are you talking about lunch at a fast casual place, or dinner at Fiola Mare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Restaurant patrons, of which there are presumably thousands, do have a right to eat in a restaurant without disturbance from other people. If you think that is entitlement, rather than one person going against the grain because its easier for them, then I'm not sure what to tell you.

No, they don't. They may have a desire to. They may have an expectation of it. But they don't have a right to it. They do not have a right to not be disturbed by witnessing other people's behavior when in a public place.

What if, instead of a child with special needs, it were an adult with special needs? Would you similarly demand that this person were required to stay home, lest they disturb you?

In the meantime, perhaps consider sticking to restaurants that exclude children. If there are so many thousands of restaurant patrons who share your beliefs, there must be restaurants like that.

I have yet to see an adult with special needs running around a restaurant, in front of servers, up to other tables, disturbing other patrons. So I can't really see your comparison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Restaurant patrons, of which there are presumably thousands, do have a right to eat in a restaurant without disturbance from other people. If you think that is entitlement, rather than one person going against the grain because its easier for them, then I'm not sure what to tell you.

No, they don't. They may have a desire to. They may have an expectation of it. But they don't have a right to it. They do not have a right to not be disturbed by witnessing other people's behavior when in a public place.

What if, instead of a child with special needs, it were an adult with special needs? Would you similarly demand that this person were required to stay home, lest they disturb you?

In the meantime, perhaps consider sticking to restaurants that exclude children. If there are so many thousands of restaurant patrons who share your beliefs, there must be restaurants like that.

I don't understand why you don't value your money enough to want to spend it having a pleasant dining experience. I went to a nail technician who was excellent and took her time. Then she started getting busier and was harassed and obviously tired. As soon as she told me she didn't like my new haircut, unsolicited, I stopped going to her and told management why. Would have been easier if management had intervened before it got to that point and she was so worn out she started insulting customers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was one of those who used to judge parents very harshly when the kids were not on their best behavior. And then I gave birth to a wonderful, adorable little boy with non-visible special needs. We rarely go out to eat, but sometimes my husband's relatives basically force us by taking offense if we don't come to their events at restaurants.

My son cannot sit still and becomes easily agitated. He calms himself by running up and down the aisles of restaurants and through tables. Everyone takes a turn going to follow him and make sure he does not get in trouble, but I know he still disruptive to other diners. He is trying his best and so are we, his parents. But it is very hard.

Why don't you take him outside instead of disrupting others?

I do. We spend much of our time outside while everyone else eats at these obnoxious events my in-laws like to hold. inevitably, one of them will come outside and ask us to come in so they can take photos or see my son, with the implication being that I am keeping him away from them. It is a very tough situation made harder by thoughtless people.

I am the PP how asked why you don't take him outside. I have (or had - he's much older now) a son just like this. He could not sit still. Wanted to be everywhere/do everything. We went to a Bar Mitzvah and my husband had to take him outside for most of the ceremony because he was getting antsy. In restaurants if he couldn't sit still or behave we were outta there. No running up and down the aisles or around tables. Period.

If my parents or inlaws wanted to see him, then they came outside with us. There really is no other option. Believe me, I know all about it being a tough situation. But you can't blame others for your kids running free someplace they shouldn't be.

PP here. In your haste to lecture me, you missed the part where I made clear we do not want to come to restaurants that are not suitable for him, but are beset by in laws. It is really quite lovely that your in-laws were understanding and would come outside with you. I am not in that position.

NP here. Tell the inlaws no or get a sitter. Why do people have such tough time establishing boundaries?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Restaurant patrons, of which there are presumably thousands, do have a right to eat in a restaurant without disturbance from other people. If you think that is entitlement, rather than one person going against the grain because its easier for them, then I'm not sure what to tell you.

No, they don't. They may have a desire to. They may have an expectation of it. But they don't have a right to it. They do not have a right to not be disturbed by witnessing other people's behavior when in a public place.

What if, instead of a child with special needs, it were an adult with special needs? Would you similarly demand that this person were required to stay home, lest they disturb you?

In the meantime, perhaps consider sticking to restaurants that exclude children. If there are so many thousands of restaurant patrons who share your beliefs, there must be restaurants like that.

How about a restaurant that excludes misbehaved children? I'd be all for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

So people who have no apparent disabilities, and are paying customers, get no consideration in your view?

Which needs are being accommodated here?

All of this talk of rights and entitlements is absurd anyway. We're talking about going out to eat at a restaurant. Customers who bring children, please try to be considerate of the other customers. Other customers, please be tolerant of parents who are probably doing what they can -- and if they're not, please recognize that this is one meal at one restaurant, not a matter of life and death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Restaurant patrons, of which there are presumably thousands, do have a right to eat in a restaurant without disturbance from other people. If you think that is entitlement, rather than one person going against the grain because its easier for them, then I'm not sure what to tell you.

No, they don't. They may have a desire to. They may have an expectation of it. But they don't have a right to it. They do not have a right to not be disturbed by witnessing other people's behavior when in a public place.

What if, instead of a child with special needs, it were an adult with special needs? Would you similarly demand that this person were required to stay home, lest they disturb you?

In the meantime, perhaps consider sticking to restaurants that exclude children. If there are so many thousands of restaurant patrons who share your beliefs, there must be restaurants like that.

I have yet to see an adult with special needs running around a restaurant, in front of servers, up to other tables, disturbing other patrons. So I can't really see your comparison.

But adults with special needs do other things that disturb people. Adults without special needs also do things that disturb people, of course.

[Anonymous]

If this is the only burning issue in your life, you are blessed. I grew up with only mashed potatoes to eat once a day for many years in my childhood. Now I'm thankful to have three meals a day and I can afford to eat at Komi everyday if I need to. So calm down ladies. Be glad you can afford to have a meal at a restaurant whether with raging kids or without.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was one of those who used to judge parents very harshly when the kids were not on their best behavior. And then I gave birth to a wonderful, adorable little boy with non-visible special needs. We rarely go out to eat, but sometimes my husband's relatives basically force us by taking offense if we don't come to their events at restaurants.

My son cannot sit still and becomes easily agitated. He calms himself by running up and down the aisles of restaurants and through tables. Everyone takes a turn going to follow him and make sure he does not get in trouble, but I know he still disruptive to other diners. He is trying his best and so are we, his parents. But it is very hard.

Why don't you take him outside instead of disrupting others?

I do. We spend much of our time outside while everyone else eats at these obnoxious events my in-laws like to hold. inevitably, one of them will come outside and ask us to come in so they can take photos or see my son, with the implication being that I am keeping him away from them. It is a very tough situation made harder by thoughtless people.

I am the PP how asked why you don't take him outside. I have (or had - he's much older now) a son just like this. He could not sit still. Wanted to be everywhere/do everything. We went to a Bar Mitzvah and my husband had to take him outside for most of the ceremony because he was getting antsy. In restaurants if he couldn't sit still or behave we were outta there. No running up and down the aisles or around tables. Period.

If my parents or inlaws wanted to see him, then they came outside with us. There really is no other option. Believe me, I know all about it being a tough situation. But you can't blame others for your kids running free someplace they shouldn't be.

PP here. In your haste to lecture me, you missed the part where I made clear we do not want to come to restaurants that are not suitable for him, but are beset by in laws. It is really quite lovely that your in-laws were understanding and would come outside with you. I am not in that position.

NP here. Tell the inlaws no or get a sitter. Why do people have such tough time establishing boundaries?

YES. It's your husband's parents - he needs to man up and tell them that a restaurant won't work. And why can't you stay home with the children, and let your husband go out with his parents alone?

[Anonymous]

Not surprised this devolved into another round of "Bash the SN mom." Always DCUM's favorite stress reliever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is a saint in restaurants. I don't feel like it's anything we've done as parents, so I'm not going to give myself a cramp by trying to pat myself on the back.

Seeing as I feel like I've had little to do with the toddler phenomenon of being well-behaved in a restaurant, I similarly assume people with crazy children just have children with "spirited" temperaments. Could those kids use more parental direction? Probably. But I can cut people a little slack when it looks like that's their day in and day out existence that seems much more trying than my own.

Are you talking about lunch at a fast casual place, or dinner at Fiola Mare?

Pp here. Ok, I wouldn't take my kid to Fiola Mare because I assume that's where are people are going to be somewhere that children aren't. We do take our 3 year old to decent sit down places, but at odd times, like 430 on a Sunday. I wouldn't expect kids to be running around Le Diplomate at any time. The local pizza place or brewery? I cut lots of slack.