Why do you let your kid run around at a restaurant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was one of those who used to judge parents very harshly when the kids were not on their best behavior. And then I gave birth to a wonderful, adorable little boy with non-visible special needs. We rarely go out to eat, but sometimes my husband's relatives basically force us by taking offense if we don't come to their events at restaurants.

My son cannot sit still and becomes easily agitated. He calms himself by running up and down the aisles of restaurants and through tables. Everyone takes a turn going to follow him and make sure he does not get in trouble, but I know he still disruptive to other diners. He is trying his best and so are we, his parents. But it is very hard.

Why don't you take him outside instead of disrupting others?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother lets his 2 year old do this because my brother thinks *everyone* thinks that kid is the cutest kid in the world. So surely all restaurant goers should be a witness to his adorable glory.

Your brother's two-year-old probably is adorable. Most two-year-olds are. My personal to-do list is too long to have room for complaining about people who let their two-year-olds run around at restaurants (though not, evidently, too long to post on threads where other people complain).

He is adorable, I completely agree, I never said he wasn't. But as a former server and a parent myself, I think it's irresponsible to let your child run around inside a restaurant where servers are trying to do an already challenging job. It's dangerous for your child and makes the server's job much harder. If your kid is antsy and can't sit, fine, take them outside to run around. But my brother won't do that because he doesn't have an audience outside for his adorable child.

PP with special needs kid here. You sound very judge mental of your brother. I believe you about him because you have no reason to lie on him, but is it possible that they are facts you are not aware of? I have not told many of my relatives about my son's special needs because they are uneducated about such matters. Getting through my day and caring for my son while maintaining my career and taking care of my other child is all I can do right now and I simply cannot carry the cross of relatives who stigmatize special needs. I am sure some of my relatives think my son just needs discipline. But they have no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was one of those who used to judge parents very harshly when the kids were not on their best behavior. And then I gave birth to a wonderful, adorable little boy with non-visible special needs. We rarely go out to eat, but sometimes my husband's relatives basically force us by taking offense if we don't come to their events at restaurants.

My son cannot sit still and becomes easily agitated. He calms himself by running up and down the aisles of restaurants and through tables. Everyone takes a turn going to follow him and make sure he does not get in trouble, but I know he still disruptive to other diners. He is trying his best and so are we, his parents. But it is very hard.

Why don't you take him outside instead of disrupting others?

I do. We spend much of our time outside while everyone else eats at these obnoxious events my in-laws like to hold. inevitably, one of them will come outside and ask us to come in so they can take photos or see my son, with the implication being that I am keeping him away from them. It is a very tough situation made harder by thoughtless people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was one of those who used to judge parents very harshly when the kids were not on their best behavior. And then I gave birth to a wonderful, adorable little boy with non-visible special needs. We rarely go out to eat, but sometimes my husband's relatives basically force us by taking offense if we don't come to their events at restaurants.

My son cannot sit still and becomes easily agitated. He calms himself by running up and down the aisles of restaurants and through tables. Everyone takes a turn going to follow him and make sure he does not get in trouble, but I know he still disruptive to other diners. He is trying his best and so are we, his parents. But it is very hard.

Why don't you take him outside instead of disrupting others?

I do. We spend much of our time outside while everyone else eats at these obnoxious events my in-laws like to hold. inevitably, one of them will come outside and ask us to come in so they can take photos or see my son, with the implication being that I am keeping him away from them. It is a very tough situation made harder by thoughtless people.

Who is thoughtless, your in-laws?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was one of those who used to judge parents very harshly when the kids were not on their best behavior. And then I gave birth to a wonderful, adorable little boy with non-visible special needs. We rarely go out to eat, but sometimes my husband's relatives basically force us by taking offense if we don't come to their events at restaurants.

My son cannot sit still and becomes easily agitated. He calms himself by running up and down the aisles of restaurants and through tables. Everyone takes a turn going to follow him and make sure he does not get in trouble, but I know he still disruptive to other diners. He is trying his best and so are we, his parents. But it is very hard.

Why don't you take him outside instead of disrupting others?

I do. We spend much of our time outside while everyone else eats at these obnoxious events my in-laws like to hold. inevitably, one of them will come outside and ask us to come in so they can take photos or see my son, with the implication being that I am keeping him away from them. It is a very tough situation made harder by thoughtless people.

Who is thoughtless, your in-laws?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child has a free spirit and I wouldn't want to offend him by limiting it.

I am happy to limit your child's free spirit with an inappropriately placed leg that trips the child, sends it into trauma level shrieks and forces the alleged parents and child from restaurant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was one of those who used to judge parents very harshly when the kids were not on their best behavior. And then I gave birth to a wonderful, adorable little boy with non-visible special needs. We rarely go out to eat, but sometimes my husband's relatives basically force us by taking offense if we don't come to their events at restaurants.

My son cannot sit still and becomes easily agitated. He calms himself by running up and down the aisles of restaurants and through tables. Everyone takes a turn going to follow him and make sure he does not get in trouble, but I know he still disruptive to other diners. He is trying his best and so are we, his parents. But it is very hard.

Why don't you take him outside instead of disrupting others?

I do. We spend much of our time outside while everyone else eats at these obnoxious events my in-laws like to hold. inevitably, one of them will come outside and ask us to come in so they can take photos or see my son, with the implication being that I am keeping him away from them. It is a very tough situation made harder by thoughtless people.

I am the PP how asked why you don't take him outside. I have (or had - he's much older now) a son just like this. He could not sit still. Wanted to be everywhere/do everything. We went to a Bar Mitzvah and my husband had to take him outside for most of the ceremony because he was getting antsy. In restaurants if he couldn't sit still or behave we were outta there. No running up and down the aisles or around tables. Period.

If my parents or inlaws wanted to see him, then they came outside with us. There really is no other option. Believe me, I know all about it being a tough situation. But you can't blame others for your kids running free someplace they shouldn't be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was one of those who used to judge parents very harshly when the kids were not on their best behavior. And then I gave birth to a wonderful, adorable little boy with non-visible special needs. We rarely go out to eat, but sometimes my husband's relatives basically force us by taking offense if we don't come to their events at restaurants.

My son cannot sit still and becomes easily agitated. He calms himself by running up and down the aisles of restaurants and through tables. Everyone takes a turn going to follow him and make sure he does not get in trouble, but I know he still disruptive to other diners. He is trying his best and so are we, his parents. But it is very hard.

Why don't you take him outside instead of disrupting others?

I do. We spend much of our time outside while everyone else eats at these obnoxious events my in-laws like to hold. inevitably, one of them will come outside and ask us to come in so they can take photos or see my son, with the implication being that I am keeping him away from them. It is a very tough situation made harder by thoughtless people.

Who is thoughtless, your in-laws?

Have you not explained to your in laws that your child is handicapped and cannot participate in these events?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was one of those who used to judge parents very harshly when the kids were not on their best behavior. And then I gave birth to a wonderful, adorable little boy with non-visible special needs. We rarely go out to eat, but sometimes my husband's relatives basically force us by taking offense if we don't come to their events at restaurants.

My son cannot sit still and becomes easily agitated. He calms himself by running up and down the aisles of restaurants and through tables. Everyone takes a turn going to follow him and make sure he does not get in trouble, but I know he still disruptive to other diners. He is trying his best and so are we, his parents. But it is very hard.

Why don't you take him outside instead of disrupting others?

I do. We spend much of our time outside while everyone else eats at these obnoxious events my in-laws like to hold. inevitably, one of them will come outside and ask us to come in so they can take photos or see my son, with the implication being that I am keeping him away from them. It is a very tough situation made harder by thoughtless people.

I am the PP how asked why you don't take him outside. I have (or had - he's much older now) a son just like this. He could not sit still. Wanted to be everywhere/do everything. We went to a Bar Mitzvah and my husband had to take him outside for most of the ceremony because he was getting antsy. In restaurants if he couldn't sit still or behave we were outta there. No running up and down the aisles or around tables. Period.

If my parents or inlaws wanted to see him, then they came outside with us. There really is no other option. Believe me, I know all about it being a tough situation. But you can't blame others for your kids running free someplace they shouldn't be.

PP here. In your haste to lecture me, you missed the part where I made clear we do not want to come to restaurants that are not suitable for him, but are beset by in laws. It is really quite lovely that your in-laws were understanding and would come outside with you. I am not in that position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was one of those who used to judge parents very harshly when the kids were not on their best behavior. And then I gave birth to a wonderful, adorable little boy with non-visible special needs. We rarely go out to eat, but sometimes my husband's relatives basically force us by taking offense if we don't come to their events at restaurants.

My son cannot sit still and becomes easily agitated. He calms himself by running up and down the aisles of restaurants and through tables. Everyone takes a turn going to follow him and make sure he does not get in trouble, but I know he still disruptive to other diners. He is trying his best and so are we, his parents. But it is very hard.

Why don't you take him outside instead of disrupting others?

I do. We spend much of our time outside while everyone else eats at these obnoxious events my in-laws like to hold. inevitably, one of them will come outside and ask us to come in so they can take photos or see my son, with the implication being that I am keeping him away from them. It is a very tough situation made harder by thoughtless people.

Who is thoughtless, your in-laws?

Have you not explained to your in laws that your child is handicapped and cannot participate in these events?

Intelligent people still use the word "handicapped"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was one of those who used to judge parents very harshly when the kids were not on their best behavior. And then I gave birth to a wonderful, adorable little boy with non-visible special needs. We rarely go out to eat, but sometimes my husband's relatives basically force us by taking offense if we don't come to their events at restaurants.

My son cannot sit still and becomes easily agitated. He calms himself by running up and down the aisles of restaurants and through tables. Everyone takes a turn going to follow him and make sure he does not get in trouble, but I know he still disruptive to other diners. He is trying his best and so are we, his parents. But it is very hard.

Why don't you take him outside instead of disrupting others?

I do. We spend much of our time outside while everyone else eats at these obnoxious events my in-laws like to hold. inevitably, one of them will come outside and ask us to come in so they can take photos or see my son, with the implication being that I am keeping him away from them. It is a very tough situation made harder by thoughtless people.

Who is thoughtless, your in-laws?

Have you not explained to your in laws that your child is handicapped and cannot participate in these events?

+1 And if they still don't "care", then have you thought of just not going? How can they "force" you to attend? I understand that they probably make your situation very uncomfortable, but then, your DH should be the one running interference and explaining it to them.

[Anonymous]

"I'm sorry, he can't sit in a chair any longer and it's dangerous for him and the servers for him to run around. So if you want us all to meet at a restaurant, you need to understand that he and I will be spending a lot of time outside. That's just the way it has to be right now."

Repeat as needed.

[Anonymous]

ITA OP. My kids have been complimented a few times by patrons about how well behaved they are. They are just regular kids. Of course they like to run wild just like most other kids. But for most kids, it does require a lot of parenting to teach them to sit still in a restaurant for an hour, but I think most non SN kids can do it if taught to do so. It just requires a lot of effort. Though, I think some parents do think their kids deserve to do whatever they want whenever and wherever. I also hate it when kids turn around in the booths and look at us while we're eating. Sure, my kids have done the same, and I make them turn around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child has a free spirit and I wouldn't want to offend him by limiting it.

I am happy to limit your child's free spirit with an inappropriately placed leg that trips the child, sends it into trauma level shrieks and forces the alleged parents and child from restaurant.

Please don't deliberately trip children. Or non-children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was one of those who used to judge parents very harshly when the kids were not on their best behavior. And then I gave birth to a wonderful, adorable little boy with non-visible special needs. We rarely go out to eat, but sometimes my husband's relatives basically force us by taking offense if we don't come to their events at restaurants.

My son cannot sit still and becomes easily agitated. He calms himself by running up and down the aisles of restaurants and through tables. Everyone takes a turn going to follow him and make sure he does not get in trouble, but I know he still disruptive to other diners. He is trying his best and so are we, his parents. But it is very hard.

Why don't you take him outside instead of disrupting others?

I do. We spend much of our time outside while everyone else eats at these obnoxious events my in-laws like to hold. inevitably, one of them will come outside and ask us to come in so they can take photos or see my son, with the implication being that I am keeping him away from them. It is a very tough situation made harder by thoughtless people.

Who is thoughtless, your in-laws?

Yes.

Yet, PP, you say that you have not told many of the relatives about his special needs. How can they be thoughtless when they don't know the full extent of the issue?