Any Christian moms raising jewish kids?
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Anonymous
Then I cannot be expected to raise my child Jewish. |
Anonymous
You would not be in less you converted. Your husband/dad would be raising the child Jewish with your support. There are a lot of cultural and other aspects, not religion based, that you cannot share as they are just not part of who you are as it was never given to you. You can learn the customs and religion but in less you convert and go through the process, you will be considered an outsider in all reality. |
Anonymous
| Why would anyone choose to be an outsider in their own home? It sounds like you are choosing to be a nanny not a mother. A lot wrong with this. |
Anonymous
I am the PP you are responding to. In our interfaith household we do Christmas and the Jewish holidays and it's nbd at all. My Jewish DH is actually into Christmas (he had a tree growing up - as the son of two Holocaust survivors, they just thought Christmas was fun). For my DH the division between his secular, cultured, urban, German Jewish father's side, and his shtetl striver Polish mother's side was actually the bigger division. All the same, I would insist on Christmas no matter what DH thought - that's just how I roll. |
Anonymous
You are anti-semitic, that's plain. |
Anonymous
| I'm sorry but the PP who is very insistent that a parent from one religion simply can't raise a child in another religion is weirdly obsessed with this. It feels like echoes of the 1950s- white people should not marry black people;no intermarriage, no "mixing." Fortunately we live in a diverse society where those norms have been cast aside. In my office, we have multiple families that are cross cultural, cross racial, and mixed religion. It's pretty narrow minded to say that a person simply cannot raise their children in their partner's religion or culture. |
Anonymous
| It really depends on the individual's feelings about what it means to raise children Jewish. |
Anonymous
Thank you - I agree! OP, I am confident that you and your fiance should be able to figure out a solution that works for you and your family, not what some anonymous person on the internet tells you. |
Anonymous
I am a Jew, and kind of find the comparison of interfaith marriage to interracial marriage offputting. Judaism to me is a way of life, not an accident of birth. The desire of Jews to encourage in marriage is, aside from the (not trivial to some of us) question of Jewish law, a matter of cultural survival. And is not inconsistent with racial diversity (there are Jewish communities of color, and there are non Jews who have converted to Judaism). And in married Jews can and do socialize with others, participate with others culturally, politically, etc. To support Jewish in marriage (including to those who convert to Judaism) is not to oppose a diverse society. In fact it is to preserve the diversity of society from homogenization. |
Anonymous
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Honestly, if you think about it from your fiancé's point of view, his requirement doesn't make sense. According to Judaism, if you don't have a Jewish mother, you aren't Jewish, and therefore aren't expected to follow the traditions and responsibilities, unless you convert. So, why bother converting the kids? If he wants Jewish children, he should have them with a Jewish woman. Otherwise, why not adhere to the cultural aspects but not raise them religiously Jewish?
Honestly, it would make more sense for him to introduce the kids to the cultural aspects and let you handle their faith. If he is against Christian faith, maybe he has issues that need to be dealt with. (I'm Jewish, my DH is an atheist, and we're not raising our kids in any religion, but technically they're Jewish. Your fiancé would not be able to say that. He knows that, and that's why he's demanding you raise the kids Jewish.) |
Anonymous
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My perspective - I converted in my mid 20s (and am 42 now). Kids are 5 and 7. The hard thing about 'raising them jewish' is that you, yourself, need to be educated and understand the basics. As the mother, many things naturally come to me through school, sunday school, etc, and I needed to be informed.
I converted willingly and did it orthodox, although we are members of a reform synagogue today. You need to immerse yourself in the cultural aspects of jewish life. I am not saying that you can or can;t 'raise the kids jewish' without converting; I am just saying that you will need to learn the basics one way or another. G/L |
Anonymous
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I am one of the pp's who struggled to raise Jewish children as a Christian mother. My marriage eventually ended - the issue of religion was deeper than I ever imagined it would be.
To the OP I would advise you to be wary of a man who demand the children raised Jewish or any other specific way. The conversation should be about BOTH of your expectations and ideas. And how both of your backgrounds impact child rearing, lifestyle and everything else. A marriage is about compromising and honoring each other, it is not a one-way street. |
Anonymous
You may be Jewish, but you are also really dated in your understanding of Judaism. I don't think this OP gives a crap about the halakhic definition of a Jew (nor how it varies across denominations). OP, I wish you luck with this and I hope you and your fiance do the learning you need to do so that you can raise healthy children in the "right" religion (whatever that turns out to be). Every faith has courses to help with this. |
Anonymous
Who are these "The Jews"? We're not a monolith, and this is certainly not my experience. I was raised in my temple to live and give service to "the world," not just Jews. My current temple dies lots of interfaith service. I'm married to a non-Jew, and while we're raising our child Jewish, DH's traditions--including a Christmas tree--are absolutely welcome in our house. Please take a moment to examine your biases. |
Anonymous
Presumably they would not join a synagogue that ascribed to what you write above |