Classy way to word DD's elite college acceptance without triggering public friends & family?

[Anonymous]

I'm going through the college process with a senior right now and I think it is particularly sensitive right now with the early decision process dividing kids into early "winners" and "losers". I think it is absolutely fine to post that DC is going to be going to [impressive school x] and is very excited. What I think will rile people up and hurt feelings is gushing over how all of DC's hard work paid off, etc. It makes it seem like teens who are not going to those schools (or just didn't get into their early reach) are somehow not as hard working, etc. when we all know it is far from that simple. So just report the news and let people congratulate you and tell you how great your kid must be and how proud you must be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going through the college process with a senior right now and I think it is particularly sensitive right now with the early decision process dividing kids into early "winners" and "losers". I think it is absolutely fine to post that DC is going to be going to [impressive school x] and is very excited. What I think will rile people up and hurt feelings is gushing over how all of DC's hard work paid off, etc. It makes it seem like teens who are not going to those schools (or just didn't get into their early reach) are somehow not as hard working, etc. when we all know it is far from that simple. So just report the news and let people congratulate you and tell you how great your kid must be and how proud you must be.

This is a great point. I'm conditioned to praise hard work, etc, in order to highlight effort rather than innate ability, but in this context it can indeed have the implications you note here, which you are very kind to be sensitive to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what's the college?

Tier two Ivy.

What the heck does that mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what's the college?

Tier two Ivy.

What the heck does that mean?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what's the college?

Tier two Ivy.

What the heck does that mean?

+1

Cornell?
Penn?
Brown?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, to add, there is no announcement needed. When somebody asks you, tell them, why announcement? Even for a wedding no announcement is needed, send invitations nothing before. What you are saying is this, I want to brag, but I want to be classy about it. When asked answer truthfully, announcement, really??

I don't believe it is bragging. I believe people genuinely want to share their kids accomplishments because they are happy about it and hope their audience will also be happy for them. End of story.

+1 Facebook is how I stay in touch with cousins, aunts, uncles, out-of-town friends and I love to hear about these developments in their/their kids' lives. Sure, kid can announce to his friends but I follow my cousins, not their kids, so I'm happy to hear it from them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what's the college?

Tier two Ivy.

What the heck does that mean?

+1

Cornell?
Penn?
Brown?

Ah, you mean "an Ivy other than Harvard, Yale, or Princeton." I went to one of these "other" Ivies and certainly didn't consider it "Tier Two!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what's the college?

Tier two Ivy.

What the heck does that mean?

+1

Cornell?
Penn?
Brown?

Ah, you mean "an Ivy other than Harvard, Yale, or Princeton." I went to one of these "other" Ivies and certainly didn't consider it "Tier Two!"

This.

However, OP, you must be a troll or else you are insufferable. "Triggering" parents of public school children? What in the world do you even mean by that when every college I've ever investigated has a much higher percentage of public school graduates than private school graduates?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going through the college process with a senior right now and I think it is particularly sensitive right now with the early decision process dividing kids into early "winners" and "losers". I think it is absolutely fine to post that DC is going to be going to [impressive school x] and is very excited. What I think will rile people up and hurt feelings is gushing over how all of DC's hard work paid off, etc. It makes it seem like teens who are not going to those schools (or just didn't get into their early reach) are somehow not as hard working, etc. when we all know it is far from that simple. So just report the news and let people congratulate you and tell you how great your kid must be and how proud you must be.

This is a great point. I'm conditioned to praise hard work, etc, in order to highlight effort rather than innate ability, but in this context it can indeed have the implications you note here, which you are very kind to be sensitive to.

+1 I never thought of it that way. Good food for thought, both PPs.

[Anonymous]

If it's a tier 2 Ivy, it's barely bragging anyway...

-- Penn grad (most people think it's Penn State anyway...)

Seriously, just be normal and say My kid is going to Penn/Cornell/Brown/Columbia/Dartmouth next year.

Most people don't care that much and it's just a point of interest to them to keep up with your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what's the college?

Tier two Ivy.

What the heck does that mean?

+1

Cornell?
Penn?
Brown?

Yes, something like that.

[Anonymous]

I am scratching my head as to what getting into or attending a private college has to do with private high school. Not at all the same thing. As PPs pointed out, most kids at top privates come from public school. (I went to a HS that is now GS 2, and then a top private college. And a top private law school).

As to what you say?

"We are very excited for Larla who has decided to attend Ivy U next year. Her next big adventure awaits!"

Which, incidentally, is almost exactly what you would say if she were going to UVA, a third tier state school, or NOVA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am scratching my head as to what getting into or attending a private college has to do with private high school. Not at all the same thing. As PPs pointed out, most kids at top privates come from public school. (I went to a HS that is now GS 2, and then a top private college. And a top private law school).

As to what you say?

"We are very excited for Larla who has decided to attend Ivy U next year. Her next big adventure awaits!"

Which, incidentally, is almost exactly what you would say if she were going to UVA, a third tier state school, or NOVA.

Because public parents are insecure/defensive, especially if you transferred out of a public -- public parents give you a hard time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am scratching my head as to what getting into or attending a private college has to do with private high school. Not at all the same thing. As PPs pointed out, most kids at top privates come from public school. (I went to a HS that is now GS 2, and then a top private college. And a top private law school).

As to what you say?

"We are very excited for Larla who has decided to attend Ivy U next year. Her next big adventure awaits!"

Which, incidentally, is almost exactly what you would say if she were going to UVA, a third tier state school, or NOVA.

Because public parents are insecure/defensive, especially if you transferred out of a public -- public parents give you a hard time.

Interesting. The only one here who seems insecure/defensive is OP...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am scratching my head as to what getting into or attending a private college has to do with private high school. Not at all the same thing. As PPs pointed out, most kids at top privates come from public school. (I went to a HS that is now GS 2, and then a top private college. And a top private law school).

As to what you say?

"We are very excited for Larla who has decided to attend Ivy U next year. Her next big adventure awaits!"

Which, incidentally, is almost exactly what you would say if she were going to UVA, a third tier state school, or NOVA.

Because public parents are insecure/defensive, especially if you transferred out of a public -- public parents give you a hard time.

Interesting. The only one here who seems insecure/defensive is OP...

+2. I am about as pro-public school as they come (between DH and I, we have three public school teacher parents, we both went public until college, our kids have always been public. I suppose I judge parents a little bit if they live in a top public district in this area HS or AAP Center send their kids private-- especially mediocre/3rd tier private, and there is not a clear need. But I certainly wouldn't say anything. It has never occurred to me to judge parents who do private college. And have have never heard from any public school parent that they judge.

Now, I must admit that it would be nice to tell my kid they can go to any private school that accepts them ED, without worrying about FA. But they are both likely to be looking at grad school, and we are not letting them take out loans, so we need the ability to really weight merit offers (at least one kid inis in the position to possible have strong merit scholarship chances). So finances play a role. But, I would never Judge any parent or family for sending a kid to the best college the can-- public or private. I think OP is being way overly sensitive.

And BTW, my oldest DC!s high school (public) sent 21 to HPY last year(not accepted-- attended)., 13 to Stanford, 18 to Penn/ Brown /Cornell, 8 to Duke, etc. public school kids frequently attemd top private colleges.