what's the worst affair story you've heard of where the marriage recovered?

[Anonymous]

"Women are programmed to care about their own children and prioritize their interests above everyone else. Certainly above other children."

Compassionate human beings are capable of making the best decisions, and usually that means putting a child's needs ahead of your own. Plenty of women and mothers are capable of teaching and showing their children how to be compassionate.

[Anonymous]

The 'woman are programmed' poster is emblematic of a certain cocooned, UMC and educated woman's perspective which almost invariably leads her to not actually being a nice kind person. That's the kind of person who kinda deserves discovering she has no idea of what's going on in her own damned marriage. The woman who actually tried to be kind to her children's half-sibling obviously tried to rise well above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Women are programmed to care about their own children and prioritize their interests above everyone else. Certainly above other children."

Compassionate human beings are capable of making the best decisions, and usually that means putting a child's needs ahead of your own. Plenty of women and mothers are capable of teaching and showing their children how to be compassionate.

No one puts interests of a random child ahead of their own. We put our children's interests ahead of our own, yes. Other people's children? No, not really. That's their parents' job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The 'woman are programmed' poster is emblematic of a certain cocooned, UMC and educated woman's perspective which almost invariably leads her to not actually being a nice kind person. That's the kind of person who kinda deserves discovering she has no idea of what's going on in her own damned marriage. The woman who actually tried to be kind to her children's half-sibling obviously tried to rise well above.

You have no idea why she did what she did, and there is nothing obvious about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It is highly probable that the Thai girl did not know the man was married until after the conception. This is a very common scenario with these sex tourist cheater types.

She wouldn't have cared if she did know. She wanted an American sugar daddy.

Or she was a desperately poor woman whose family had driven her into sex work, and whom she was supporting by being what you would call a mistress in this country. She got exploited from start to finish.

Professional sex workers are usually religious about birth control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to my Mom's friend. She wasn't too close to her but was good friends with her friends.

This woman, her husband and teenaged daughter moved somewhere in SE Asia, maybe Thailand. After a few years, they move back to DC and they've 'adopted' a baby. Everyone thought it was weird to suddenly adopt when you have a teenager. The rumor mill was it was the daughter's baby (she would have been 12-13 when the baby was born).

But as it turns out, it was the DH's with his Thai mistress. The DW adopted it and raised it as her own. Last I heard she and DH were still together.

In all seriousness, no sarcasm, this wife is a winner. She clearly understands the fate of her husband's child if she does nothing. I give her high marks for clarity, compassion, and composure.

Eh, I've lived in this part of the world and I hope you are right. The wife is either saintly for raising this child when the child may have had no one, OR they could very well be people who essentially pressured this child to be given up by the mother "you can give her less, we can give her so much more" etc , when any decent man would be paying $ for the child either way. I hope that not the case but it's not unheard of for these situations to be a horrible choice for the mother to feel giving away her child is the only hope for a good life

The horrible choice the mother made was to sleep with a married guy. All other bad choices followed.

Please don't act like having to feel like you had to never see your child again in order to give them a better life is even close to being fucked around on.

Don't be silly. People have babies and keep them in Thailand every day. There's tons of rich and middle-class people in that country. It's not exactly a den of wretchedness. If you want to give your child a good life, an excellent start would be to have them within a marriage, so what's with pretending that the child's mother is a victim? She made a very bad choice. That's the truth. No one can force you to give up your child if you don't want to, and if you think having lots of stuff is a better life than growing up with your own mother, then maybe the mother deserve the sadness that comes with losing her child.

This is the prior poster ("In all seriousness"). We are in fact a local Thai family and you are poorly informed and should not speak about what you do not know. So no, I am not being silly. Sadly, it is you. Have a heart.

I am sorry if your family situation is not the best. This doesn't change the truth that middle-class Thai people exist, and that millions of Thai people lead happy lives without dreaming of shipping their children to America. So, no, that wasn't her child's ONLY hope for a good life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ PP, these women don't have a heart. This part of the thread is just disgusting.

I have no pity AT ALL for spoiled, smug idiots who want to villainize this woman who gave up her daughter to what sounds like a rather manipulative man. FUCK YOU and work on being a little honest about the vulnerabilities in your own marriage, you insecure cows.

There are no villains or saints in these situations typically. Everyone is just trying to make the best decision for themselves under very unfortunate circumstances. You have no idea what goes on in other people's marriage and heads. It's not all Lifetime Television for Women. People are too complex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bill and Hillary

Donald gabbing pussies and having his way with women when married to his third wife Melania. The marriage survived.

Or so we think.

My prediction is that she will not move to DC. They are already living separate lives.

Absolutely. She signed on to live a life of luxury. Not to be the First Lady.

[Anonymous]

When I was growing up in a suburb of a big city on the west coast, we lived in a very friendly neighborhood in a close-knit community. The kids all played together and went to school together, and there were lots of parties. Families would often travel together on weekends. It was really fun.

The family next door to us had kids who were a little older than my sisters and I. The parents and kids were attractive and accomplished; that had lived all over the world before moving to our community. They had a greenhouse in their side yard. A couple of houses down on the other side there was a family with kids a bit younger than we were. They were recent arrivals, so we didn't know them well. The mom was quiet and rather anxious about settling her kids into the neighborhood and schools. The dad was kind of a partier.

My dad was a doctor and he didn't see patients on Tuesday afternoons (yes, he played golf ). One Tuesday afternoon when I was in high school, my younger sister and I came home and found the next-door neighbor dad sitting in the living room with my parents. My mom whispered to us that we should go right up to our rooms and stay there. A little while later she came up and told us that the neighbor had come to tell her and my dad that his wife was having an affair with partying dad. I remember being shocked and sad for the kids in both families.

Late that night, after we'd all gone to bed, there was a lot of noise and lights outside my window. I woke up to find that the wife of the partying dad had driven her car into our neighbor's greenhouse. Fortunately, nobody was injured. The next morning all of the kids from the two families were at the bus stop. When the bus came and we got on, everyone seemed to be staring at them. School was the same way.

Our next-door neighbors divorced, but the parents from down the street stayed together. The kids all finished high school in our town. I don't know whether or to what extent you could really say that the adults "recovered", but I have always felt that the kids in those two families just went through hell after the affair became public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ PP, these women don't have a heart. This part of the thread is just disgusting.

I have no pity AT ALL for spoiled, smug idiots who want to villainize this woman who gave up her daughter to what sounds like a rather manipulative man. FUCK YOU and work on being a little honest about the vulnerabilities in your own marriage, you insecure cows.

There are no villains or saints in these situations typically. Everyone is just trying to make the best decision for themselves under very unfortunate circumstances. You have no idea what goes on in other people's marriage and heads. It's not all Lifetime Television for Women. People are too complex.

Lady, please. I am very comfortable describing the m.o. of these kinds of posters in this thread on this topic.

[Anonymous]

Have a friend whose dad fathered a child with another woman during the marriage. Went on to have two more kids within the marriage. The wife found out, but they were religious so didn't divorce.

[Anonymous]

Wife got pregnant with her AP. Tried to pass the baby off as her husband's. He found out. He stuck it out for a little while but ended up leaving. Mom got with another man for a little bit, but that didn't work out. She got back with her original husband and they sent the baby who was then a child to live with family in another state. Rumor is he was placed in state care.
Couple is still together playing happy families and everyone acts like the child doesn't exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bill and Hillary

Donald gabbing pussies and having his way with women when married to his third wife Melania. The marriage survived.

Or so we think.

My prediction is that she will not move to DC. They are already living separate lives.

Absolutely. She signed on to live a life of luxury. Not to be the First Lady.

Whatever. The marriage did survive for whatever reasons. Donald rescued her parents from an East European country and they live in a condo that he has provided in NY Her entire family survives because he provides for them. Maybe, that was the deal for her going into the marriage. She was a struggling East European model who was old - (27 years or so), and she would get a cushy life for her family and herself if she married a much older, much married man. And I am sure that it was a good bargain for her, and it was not as if she was an 18 year old virgin. It was an arrangement and this was a business transaction. That pact has not been broken. The marriage has survived. Maybe she has no other options, but the bottom line is that there is no divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up in a suburb of a big city on the west coast, we lived in a very friendly neighborhood in a close-knit community. The kids all played together and went to school together, and there were lots of parties. Families would often travel together on weekends. It was really fun.

The family next door to us had kids who were a little older than my sisters and I. The parents and kids were attractive and accomplished; that had lived all over the world before moving to our community. They had a greenhouse in their side yard. A couple of houses down on the other side there was a family with kids a bit younger than we were. They were recent arrivals, so we didn't know them well. The mom was quiet and rather anxious about settling her kids into the neighborhood and schools. The dad was kind of a partier.

My dad was a doctor and he didn't see patients on Tuesday afternoons (yes, he played golf ). One Tuesday afternoon when I was in high school, my younger sister and I came home and found the next-door neighbor dad sitting in the living room with my parents. My mom whispered to us that we should go right up to our rooms and stay there. A little while later she came up and told us that the neighbor had come to tell her and my dad that his wife was having an affair with partying dad. I remember being shocked and sad for the kids in both families.

Late that night, after we'd all gone to bed, there was a lot of noise and lights outside my window. I woke up to find that the wife of the partying dad had driven her car into our neighbor's greenhouse. Fortunately, nobody was injured. The next morning all of the kids from the two families were at the bus stop. When the bus came and we got on, everyone seemed to be staring at them. School was the same way.

Our next-door neighbors divorced, but the parents from down the street stayed together. The kids all finished high school in our town. I don't know whether or to what extent you could really say that the adults "recovered", but I have always felt that the kids in those two families just went through hell after the affair became public.

What I love about this story is the cliched-ness of it. The woman who had the affair got divorced (husbands are less likely to forgive and get past an affair) and the woman with the partier husband stuck it out with him and forgave him, because that is typically what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ PP, these women don't have a heart. This part of the thread is just disgusting.

I have no pity AT ALL for spoiled, smug idiots who want to villainize this woman who gave up her daughter to what sounds like a rather manipulative man. FUCK YOU and work on being a little honest about the vulnerabilities in your own marriage, you insecure cows.

There are no villains or saints in these situations typically. Everyone is just trying to make the best decision for themselves under very unfortunate circumstances. You have no idea what goes on in other people's marriage and heads. It's not all Lifetime Television for Women. People are too complex.

Lady, please. I am very comfortable describing the m.o. of these kinds of posters in this thread on this topic.

I am sure you are, but how much does your comfort really mean? It's not a real metric of anything.