Food Bank donations in lieu of gifts
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Anonymous
No. I said frozen veggies vs canned. Not once did I say frozen dinners. Those we do not have to give out almost ever. |
Anonymous
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Everyone needs to take it down a notch. OP I suspect it is the 2-3 people freaking out about your reasonable and generous idea. Let your kid pick the cause and check the organization to see what they need.
Another idea to combat too much stuff, My 6 yr old dd recently went to a birthday party with a chapter book exchange. Everyone was asked to bring their favorite and everyone left with a new one. It was great. |
Anonymous
Actually, yes, we did. The first year, I was 9, my sister was 8, and my brother 5. In about a 6 month span, a few kids we knew had houses burn down. The local Red Cross supported them while insurance argued about whether they were going to pay, how much, whether it was arson because it was happening too often, etc. The food bank provided food and hygiene items. Because we talked about it at school, we all knew that the adults were doing what they could, and while we didn't know what was going on with the insurance, we knew that it was a struggle. Nobody wanted to make the families feel worse, so nobody gave to them directly. But several baskets of food or clothes were dropped off at the school or were left at a relative's house. Several kids decided that they were going to say no gifts for birthday parties, and they asked for specific items (my sister requested toothpaste, my brother requested peanut butter and I requested cans of soup). It wasn't at the adults' urging, and the kids didn't take credit for it. Oh, and we weren't wealthy, far from it! As an adult, if a child told me that they wanted to collect donations instead of receiving presents, I would ask why so that I could help word the invitations. While I'm in complete agreement that kids should learn to give of themselves by watching their parents, sometimes that's not possible, and every child's urge to give should be encouraged. If a child wanted to donate toys, I would be fine with that. But honestly? I would much prefer to collect necessities like diapers and food, so if a child said that's what they wanted to do, I would encourage it. I don't understand a parent of an invited child thinking it's rude for the birthday child to express that they would prefer to collect donations. Most kids who would think of it are already collecting donations from other sources, so their birthday party seems like a very acceptable venue to me. Most non-profits don't want the liability that comes with allowing a minor to volunteer, so the only that they can do is collect money and/or items and distribute information. How else should children get involved? |
Anonymous
Domestic abuse shelters frequently don't advertise where they are, so that the abusers can't find them as easily. It's not as easy as just pulling up to one and dropping off a load of toys. When I volunteered for one in Wisconsin, there were a slew of rules: Don't acknowledge that you know any person you meet there if you see them on the street; Park at least 2 blocks away, walk a different route each time, and stand in the shadows by the window so that you are visible while waiting to be buzzed in; Don't solicit any supplies specifically for the shelter or advertise a pick up date; Don't advertise that you volunteer at a domestic abuse shelter, etc. Children's hospitals get tons of toy donations. Is there a reason that toys are more important than food, and a child who would prefer to donate food should not do so? I don't see a reason that a child should feel proud of voluntarily giving up presents for a year so that someone else can have something they need. |
Anonymous
My local food bank's current list is: pasta (I was told they have enough sauce) cereal spam Staples that they never can have enough: peanut butter mac and cheese canned corn canned green beans canned chicken canned/pouch tuna soup, both canned and mix formula baby food (not toddler, baby) Taxable (big items they would prefer to know about ahead of time): toilet paper 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner deodorant bar soap diapers Our local food bank serves people who are older or who don't have time to cook, so they don't want dry beans. Many of the people don't know HOW to cook, so rice isn't wanted. Anything with all the ingredients included and directions on the back will be taken... eventually. The food bank is run out of a local church, and there's no refrigeration and very little freezer space, so anything perishable must come in as donations start coming out, and anything left at the end of the day must go. Our food bank may have a list for staples and current needs, but they have NEVER told someone not to bring something in (as long as it was usable). We thought it was somewhat strange when someone brought in 100 cans of sardines, but I was working two days later when the old guy came in and saw them. Because we knew that most people in our area wouldn't want them, we put them on the table with items close to expiration or with unknown expiration dates (from which everyone may take up to 5 things without counting them towards their weekly total). He took 5 from the table, and then asked if he could substitute cans of sardines for each item he was allotted for the week, so we let him take them all (much more than his allotment, but we didn't care). It turns out that sardines have been his once a month splurge for the last 15 years, something that reminded him of sitting and talking with his grandfather while fishing. Nobody else is our area had ever expressed an interest in sardines, but we made his day. It sounds like your food bank doesn't allow any choice if people ask you not to give them certain items and then they leave them? If so, it sounds like the way you distribute needs to change. |
Anonymous
Exactly, it's not about being generous or supporting a cause. It's about making a statement about being generous or supporting a cause. That's why it turns people off. |
Anonymous
I'm just really surprised to hear a volunteer say this. I know that my kids and I have participated in lots of canned food drives over the years and we have always gotten the impression that it was a great help and much appreciated. When I give cans, they come directly from my own pantry - usually soups, tuna, chili, etc. Stuff my own family does eat. That's what most people do. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
Generous is thoughtfully buying something yourself and donating it. Find out specific needs or an unmet need (i.e. fresh bread, milk, fruit and veggies) and YOU buying/donating. Asking others to donate to you so you can give it to the charity of your choice is not generous. |
Anonymous
For some reason, this seems really great for a ten year old when it is obviously the kids idea, and so eye roll inducing for a six year old where it is clearly the parents idea. |
Anonymous
I don't like this idea. Some people spend time picking a gift for your child. A gift s/he will enjoy. I would be insulted if the family took my gift and donated it. If you want to do that I would rather you tell me so I can pick an appropriate gift for the charity. For example I wouldn't give a video game to a charity b/c who knows if the kids have a gaming system. I also wouldn't give a gift that requires batteries. If you don't need 30 gifts have a no gift party. |
Anonymous
Don't be silly! You may give me a gift but you cannot dictate how I use it. I am capable of deciding if I want to give my video game or battery operated item to a shelter. You have a control issue pp! OP does not need to make political or social issue of her party. She should sent out the invitation indicating no gifts are expected. But if people still send her gifts that she does not want, she should quietly donate them. You don't have to know what she did with her gifts anyway. |
Anonymous
The gift was not given to the parent, it was given to the child. I highly doubt that most parents would care to sit on the floor and play with play food for hours, unless they were playing with their child. |
Anonymous
+1000 |
Anonymous
No, OP should say no gifts wanted. She and her kids are too good for crappy presents from others. |