Kids want a Christmas tree; we are not Christian

[Anonymous]

OP, get a pole for them to decorate:

[Anonymous]

We make and decorate Christmas tree cookies instead.

Grew up in a Hindu household with no tree and no lights. Just as the Christians around us didn't celebrate Diwali, Ganesh Chathurthi, Pongal, etc., we didn't celebrate Christmas. We happily wished our Christian friends Merry Christmas, went to their parties, and enjoyed the food and goodies they shared with us. They did the same with our festivities.

I am surprised to read that so many Hindu families put up Christmas trees. Also surprised to read that they are considered secular, seasonal symbols. Where is the war on Christmas again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suggestions? We are Hindus. We've decided to play up the Hindu holidays a lot, decorated the house for Diwali, had a big party, etc. Do the same for a lot of the other holidays.
Kids have never even noticed Christmas till now. The older one is 6.

Are you kidding? All Hindus in this country that I know, have a Christmas tree, buy gifts for their family, friends, teachers etc., and either throw a party or go to one on 25th. Most of them also put up Christmas lights. The Hindu festivals you celebrate has a religious and spiritual meaning to it, and there is a component of prayers or some religious ceremony to it.

Celebrating Christmas for non-Christians is like having a big ol' party. It is a celebration and also a great time to get special deals in consumer goods.

Agreed that this is very very common. But we don't want to be that type of Hindu/Indian-American. It's a choice, right? The consumerism of Christmas is not exactly in line with Hindu principles. And actually I know quite a few Hindu families choosing to not do Christmas these days. I expect as more youth happily identify themselves as Hindu, and as they learn more about their own religion, this stance will become more common.

I don't know about Hindus, but in general, as people learn about religions other than there own, they become more accepting and more open to other religions and to the concept of having no religion. Young people especially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We make and decorate Christmas tree cookies instead.

Grew up in a Hindu household with no tree and no lights. Just as the Christians around us didn't celebrate Diwali, Ganesh Chathurthi, Pongal, etc., we didn't celebrate Christmas. We happily wished our Christian friends Merry Christmas, went to their parties, and enjoyed the food and goodies they shared with us. They did the same with our festivities.

I am surprised to read that so many Hindu families put up Christmas trees. Also surprised to read that they are considered secular, seasonal symbols. Where is the war on Christmas again?

In the South. And on Fox news

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can call it a holiday tree, it's american

Thanks for calling Jews, and people of other faiths (or no faith) who don't participate in the historically Christian holiday of Christmas. Un-American. Are you voting for trump?

How American of you to be so easily offended!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the suggestions. I also had a Xmas tree growing up (as did my spouse), because our parents did the Xmas tree as part of adopting some aspects of American culture. I remember liking it, but it always felt in some way not enough....like we were faking it. Even as a child I realized I was doing a small part of the Christmas experience, and it made me feel....left out.

Things are different now than when I grew up - there's no need to adopt others' traditions where we live - there are a lot of Indians in my town. My kids are WAAAY more in touch with their Indian heritage than I was growing up, and that is in large part due the changes in demographics, but also what the population has chose to emphasize - religion, language, arts, etc. At any rate, my husband and I really want our kids to be able to turn to the tenets of our faith for guidance through their lives. And we think a big part of that is knowing who we aren't, and who we aren't. And we aren't Christian.

We put lights up outside our house for Diwali and leave them on until Jan 2, so we do have lights during Xmas too. I just think its going to be a slippery slope if I get them a tree. Then it will be presents next (when most Hindu holidays are NOT about gift-giving) and Santa, etc. etc. Where does it end? But I also don't want them to feel sad or left out.

Since you grew up with a Christmas tree in your house, do you think that hurt your ability to "know who you are" and practice/turn to your faith for guidance through your life?

+1 to this question. Did having a tree in your house make you lose your language, faith and traditions?

oh, sorry, I missed this. In a word, no. The tree itself did not hurt me. But I was *really* out of touch with my traditions until I was a young adult, and I think the tree was just another characteristic of how out of touch my siblings and I were. I am 35, grew up in 80s and went to school with 2 other indian kids. Things changed for me when I went to college where there were a ton of us - I had a bit of a spiritual awakening if you will and learned a lot about my own religion. We stopped doing a tree then, at my request (turns out siblings did not care one way or the other). I have more faith now than I did as a child and I wish my parents had tried to explain our traditions in an age appropriate way (in English or our mother tongue). They were wonderful parents (still are) but they were very very busy - worked hard as many families do - and were not always mindful about what part of our culture to keep or leave behind....so they just copied other Indian families, and what they did. At some point, somewhere, some Hindu decided Xmas trees were pretty and they wanted one and then it was just like dominoes in the community!! LOL. And then some started doing wreaths on their door, like a few of my aunts, without understanding what it symbolizes. In retrospect, it seems a little mindless, all of it.

Everyone is free to worship as they please, but we have plenty of good festivals/holidays with amazing messages in our religion without having to borrow others'.

Btw, we have a group of 10 Indian-American families (all second gen) that we regularly do things with. None of them have trees in their house, except for one who is married to a Christian. But we all do Diwali with fireworks in style. I don't think the Hindu/Sikh with a Christmas tree is the default - it's certainly not in India....you make that choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the suggestions. I also had a Xmas tree growing up (as did my spouse), because our parents did the Xmas tree as part of adopting some aspects of American culture. I remember liking it, but it always felt in some way not enough....like we were faking it. Even as a child I realized I was doing a small part of the Christmas experience, and it made me feel....left out.

Things are different now than when I grew up - there's no need to adopt others' traditions where we live - there are a lot of Indians in my town. My kids are WAAAY more in touch with their Indian heritage than I was growing up, and that is in large part due the changes in demographics, but also what the population has chose to emphasize - religion, language, arts, etc. At any rate, my husband and I really want our kids to be able to turn to the tenets of our faith for guidance through their lives. And we think a big part of that is knowing who we aren't, and who we aren't. And we aren't Christian.

We put lights up outside our house for Diwali and leave them on until Jan 2, so we do have lights during Xmas too. I just think its going to be a slippery slope if I get them a tree. Then it will be presents next (when most Hindu holidays are NOT about gift-giving) and Santa, etc. etc. Where does it end? But I also don't want them to feel sad or left out.

Since you grew up with a Christmas tree in your house, do you think that hurt your ability to "know who you are" and practice/turn to your faith for guidance through your life?

+1 to this question. Did having a tree in your house make you lose your language, faith and traditions?

oh, sorry, I missed this. In a word, no. The tree itself did not hurt me. But I was *really* out of touch with my traditions until I was a young adult, and I think the tree was just another characteristic of how out of touch my siblings and I were. I am 35, grew up in 80s and went to school with 2 other indian kids. Things changed for me when I went to college where there were a ton of us - I had a bit of a spiritual awakening if you will and learned a lot about my own religion. We stopped doing a tree then, at my request (turns out siblings did not care one way or the other). I have more faith now than I did as a child and I wish my parents had tried to explain our traditions in an age appropriate way (in English or our mother tongue). They were wonderful parents (still are) but they were very very busy - worked hard as many families do - and were not always mindful about what part of our culture to keep or leave behind....so they just copied other Indian families, and what they did. At some point, somewhere, some Hindu decided Xmas trees were pretty and they wanted one and then it was just like dominoes in the community!! LOL. And then some started doing wreaths on their door, like a few of my aunts, without understanding what it symbolizes. In retrospect, it seems a little mindless, all of it.

Everyone is free to worship as they please, but we have plenty of good festivals/holidays with amazing messages in our religion without having to borrow others'.

Btw, we have a group of 10 Indian-American families (all second gen) that we regularly do things with. None of them have trees in their house, except for one who is married to a Christian. But we all do Diwali with fireworks in style. I don't think the Hindu/Sikh with a Christmas tree is the default - it's certainly not in India....you make that choice.

Also keep in mind that not all kids are alike in terms of being drawn to religion (or not). Lot's of kids with religiously observant partents reject religion as soon as they leave home. Some, like you, go the other direction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, get a pole for them to decorate:

Ha-ha, the best response!

[Anonymous]

As a Hindu, I am very secure in my beliefs and spirituality. I do not think that adopting the celebration part of any festival from any other country, religion etc. will make me less of a Hindu. My kids are very aware and informed about different religions as well as their traditions.

Maybe it is due to my upbringing in India as a Fauji kid, but we were raised to be secular and inclusive. We counted as friends, colleagues, neighbors - people from all religions, regions, backgrounds - and became richer in our life experiences because of that. Now, in this country, we are in a position to do the same in a larger, global scale. So, why not? As you come to know other cultures, you see a lot of similarity between their traditions and your traditions.

So, Bring on the Halloween, the Valentine's Day, Christmas, Thanksgiving, 4th of July, New Year, Easter Egg Hunt, Chinese New Year, Eid, Navroz, Hanukkah, St. Patrick's Day, Onam, Baisakhi, Lorhi, Guru Parb...We celebrate everything and we also celebrate Diwali, Holi, Rakhi, Navratri.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suggestions? We are Hindus. We've decided to play up the Hindu holidays a lot, decorated the house for Diwali, had a big party, etc. Do the same for a lot of the other holidays.
Kids have never even noticed Christmas till now. The older one is 6.

Are you kidding? All Hindus in this country that I know, have a Christmas tree, buy gifts for their family, friends, teachers etc., and either throw a party or go to one on 25th. Most of them also put up Christmas lights. The Hindu festivals you celebrate has a religious and spiritual meaning to it, and there is a component of prayers or some religious ceremony to it.

Celebrating Christmas for non-Christians is like having a big ol' party. It is a celebration and also a great time to get special deals in consumer goods.

Agreed that this is very very common. But we don't want to be that type of Hindu/Indian-American. It's a choice, right? The consumerism of Christmas is not exactly in line with Hindu principles. And actually I know quite a few Hindu families choosing to not do Christmas these days. I expect as more youth happily identify themselves as Hindu, and as they learn more about their own religion, this stance will become more common.

Oh...I see! You are those Indians. Sorry, but exactly what celebration in which religion does not have an element of consumerism in it? As a Hindu, this is my observation of how festivals are celebrated in India.

Diwali is all about buying fireworks, jewelry, new clothes, new vehicles, new pots and pans, gift baskets, food, parties, gambling, parties and drinking. You get your house spruced up, light up all the lamps and lights and try and welcome the Goddess of Wealth!

Holi - all about throwing colors and water balloons on each other. Getting high on Bhang and a lots of booze.

Rakhi - Gifts for sister. Gifts for brother. High end Rakhis now made of gold, silver etc...studded with diamonds.

All religious celebrations around the world incurs some cost and exhibits consumerism. You buy supplies, you buy food, you buy gifts, you buy new clothes...everything has monetary value attached to it.

Now, unless you are a very realized soul - doing social service, leaving zero carbon footprint and living a life of austerity, I think consumerism is a part of the way humanity is living now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make and decorate Christmas tree cookies instead.

Grew up in a Hindu household with no tree and no lights. Just as the Christians around us didn't celebrate Diwali, Ganesh Chathurthi, Pongal, etc., we didn't celebrate Christmas. We happily wished our Christian friends Merry Christmas, went to their parties, and enjoyed the food and goodies they shared with us. They did the same with our festivities.

I am surprised to read that so many Hindu families put up Christmas trees. Also surprised to read that they are considered secular, seasonal symbols. Where is the war on Christmas again?

In the South. And on Fox news

Also, if I understand correctly, non-Christians celebrating Christmas in a secular manner is also part of the war on Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Jesus was not born in December. The tree was brought into the house and decorated way before Christians ever laid eyes on it.
Evergreen was brought in during winter because people missed seeing green (still do), it smelled good and to feed the animals. The winter solstice (holiday) was celebrated during that time. It was also a time to take a break from working the land since it was covered with snow, and rather cook, eat, sing, dance, decorate house, celebrate life and thank whatever god you worshiped if any.
Now Christians came in and suddenly tree became Christmas tree and Jesus was born on 24th or 25th.
I'd get them the tree since it's religious if you make it into one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus was not born in December. The tree was brought into the house and decorated way before Christians ever laid eyes on it.
Evergreen was brought in during winter because people missed seeing green (still do), it smelled good and to feed the animals. The winter solstice (holiday) was celebrated during that time. It was also a time to take a break from working the land since it was covered with snow, and rather cook, eat, sing, dance, decorate house, celebrate life and thank whatever god you worshiped if any.
Now Christians came in and suddenly tree became Christmas tree and Jesus was born on 24th or 25th.
I'd get them the tree since it's religious if you make it into one.

Um. What Christians believe Jesus was born on December 25? The feast of Christ / the Jesus holy day / Christmas became part of the liturgical cycle so that his life -- from the anticipation of his arrival to his return to heaven (and the beginning of the new Israel) could be celebrated over the course of a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus was not born in December. The tree was brought into the house and decorated way before Christians ever laid eyes on it.
Evergreen was brought in during winter because people missed seeing green (still do), it smelled good and to feed the animals. The winter solstice (holiday) was celebrated during that time. It was also a time to take a break from working the land since it was covered with snow, and rather cook, eat, sing, dance, decorate house, celebrate life and thank whatever god you worshiped if any.
Now Christians came in and suddenly tree became Christmas tree and Jesus was born on 24th or 25th.
I'd get them the tree since it's religious if you make it into one.

Um. What Christians believe Jesus was born on December 25? The feast of Christ / the Jesus holy day / Christmas became part of the liturgical cycle so that his life -- from the anticipation of his arrival to his return to heaven (and the beginning of the new Israel) could be celebrated over the course of a year.

+1. A day needed to be chosen because nobody knew Jesus' real birthdate. So they chose that day. To Christians, what PP is writing isn't old news.

If it helps, we Christians also understand that there was probably no snow around the manger in Bethlehem, even though there are some lovely carols about snow.

Also, wasn't it Queen Victoria's German husband, Albert, who brought the tree custom to Britain about 150 years ago? The tree is lovely, but it doesn't have a specific religious or sacramental role. I'm happy to share it with non-Christians!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make and decorate Christmas tree cookies instead.

Grew up in a Hindu household with no tree and no lights. Just as the Christians around us didn't celebrate Diwali, Ganesh Chathurthi, Pongal, etc., we didn't celebrate Christmas. We happily wished our Christian friends Merry Christmas, went to their parties, and enjoyed the food and goodies they shared with us. They did the same with our festivities.

I am surprised to read that so many Hindu families put up Christmas trees. Also surprised to read that they are considered secular, seasonal symbols. Where is the war on Christmas again?

In the South. And on Fox news

Also, if I understand correctly, non-Christians celebrating Christmas in a secular manner is also part of the war on Christmas.

Yes, and nominally Christian people celebrating Christmas without going to church or pondering over the wondrous birth of their savior.