Kids want a Christmas tree; we are not Christian

[Anonymous]

OP I agree with you. I think it is important to be true to who you are and what you feel comfortable. Being a good person at heart is bigger to me than any religion and I let that guide what I do. I worship and respect Jesus as a great man/saint. But getting a tree or putting up elaborate lights and the commercial aspects of Christmas I don't feel any connection to it so don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"A Christmas tree is something people who celebrate Christmas sometimes have, and our family doesn't so we don't have a tree." Then acknowledge Christmas trees are pretty and looking at ornaments can be fun. Enjoy seeing your friends' and neighbors' trees.

I'm Jewish and don;t like the approach of making Hanukkah a substitute for Christmas or equating them. I wouldn't suggest playing up a Hindu holiday to "make up for" not celebrating another religion's holiday, but pointing out there are some things your family does that others don't is just fine.

Agreed. I usually tell my kids that as Jews, we have more than enough holidays already! I don't think you need to find another winter one that equates to Christmas, but I think it's helpful to remind them of a few of their faves. I think a Diwali party is great. We do put out lights, but we do it in October to decorate our Sukkah, and the kids love it but they've been back in the basement for quite a while by the time December comes around. I think it's all part of maintaining your identity as a minority, you do need there to be things you do and things you don't do, rather than blurring the distinctions.

If tha'ts what's most important to you, sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are atheists and have a Christmas tree. Christmas is mostly a cultural holiday. I know the religious people have some special attachment to it, but it's okay to not have any attachment but still engage in the merry making that goes along with it.

So we have a 9-ft tall tree, an ungodly amount of lights, ribbons, ornaments, and etc.

I take pride on having the best tree in the entire street.

Actually, it is not. You're an atheist celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.

Who has a better idea of what I am celebrating, me or you? I am celebrating the holiday called Christmas. It's an opportunity to spend time with the family, with activities, trips, gifts, etc. That's what I am celebrating. You may think I am missing the point by celebrating Christmas without any belief that Jesus was real, but I don't need Jesus to be real to enjoy Christmas. Just watch me.

I think Jesus would be totally okay with a nonbeliever enjoying his birthday celebration if it promoted family togetherness and goodwill to others. He was the Prince of Peace, after all!

I am an atheist who celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ, too. What an amazing person. I also don't think Jesus would cast a stone at me, my family, or my tree. I am happy my children learn about this incredible person who put his life on the line for the poor, downtrodden, underclass, outcasts, needy, sick, young, and disenfranchised.

I just wanted to say that this is not only the nicest thing I've heard an atheist say about Jesus on DCUM, it's the nicest thing I've heard ANYONE at all say about Jesus on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are atheists and have a Christmas tree. Christmas is mostly a cultural holiday. I know the religious people have some special attachment to it, but it's okay to not have any attachment but still engage in the merry making that goes along with it.

So we have a 9-ft tall tree, an ungodly amount of lights, ribbons, ornaments, and etc.

I take pride on having the best tree in the entire street.

Actually, it is not. You're an atheist celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.

Jesus was not born on the 25th.

They also didn't have pine trees there.

I agree. He was born at lambing time.

Do cedars count?

[Anonymous]

We're not Christians either, but we celebrate Christmas.

It's origins are pagan anyway. There's the "Christ's birth" variation and the "Santa" and "giving" variation. We follow the latter. It's very much cultural (American/European), not just religious.

[Anonymous]

Pagans - 7
Steelers - 0

[Anonymous]

Looks like there are several "Groundhogs" on this thread.

"Groundhog" is the name a Christian poster has given to people who bring up the pagan roots of various aspects of Christianity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suggestions? We are Hindus. We've decided to play up the Hindu holidays a lot, decorated the house for Diwali, had a big party, etc. Do the same for a lot of the other holidays.
Kids have never even noticed Christmas till now. The older one is 6.

Are you kidding? All Hindus in this country that I know, have a Christmas tree, buy gifts for their family, friends, teachers etc., and either throw a party or go to one on 25th. Most of them also put up Christmas lights. The Hindu festivals you celebrate has a religious and spiritual meaning to it, and there is a component of prayers or some religious ceremony to it.

Celebrating Christmas for non-Christians is like having a big ol' party. It is a celebration and also a great time to get special deals in consumer goods.

Agreed that this is very very common. But we don't want to be that type of Hindu/Indian-American. It's a choice, right? The consumerism of Christmas is not exactly in line with Hindu principles. And actually I know quite a few Hindu families choosing to not do Christmas these days. I expect as more youth happily identify themselves as Hindu, and as they learn more about their own religion, this stance will become more common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I'm Hindu too, and my family always had a Christmas tree growing up. My parents explained it by saying that Hindus are polytheistic and embrace aspects of other religions. Not a big deal in my opinion to get a tiny table-top one if they really want it. I have fond memories of attending Christmas parties at our Indian friends'' houses when I was little, and wondering why the Santa who came to the party was brown, when they were always white in the pictures.

+1. Hindu/Sikh family here. We have a tree. My Sikh family had a tree growing up. Participating in the cultural/commercial aspects of a Christian holiday doesn't affect our religion in any way.

[Anonymous]

It's ok to agree to disagree sometimes . Nothing wrong with the choices we all make as long as we don't carry hatred or malice.

[Anonymous]

You do you, OP

But consider your kid's feelings. The overwhelming majority of posters, Christian or not, participated in the tree tradition. Including you. It's great that your giving your kids the chance to be so immersed in your ethnic heritage. But they are still American and they feel left out.

Maybe your kids will come to appreciate your stand...or maybe they'll look back and roll their eyes at their moms stubbornness and have the biggest tree on their block. Given your history, I'm guessing it will be the latter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looks like there are several "Groundhogs" on this thread.

"Groundhog" is the name a Christian poster has given to people who bring up the pagan roots of various aspects of Christianity.

I'm a devout Catholic and I acknowledge that Christianity as we know it today was grafted onto pagan beliefs and holidays in many, many cultures. My Irish forebears were Druidic pagans. My African ones were animist polytheists. I'm sure Christianity was more palatable to them if it resembled the religions of their cultures. Doesn't lessen my faith.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looks like there are several "Groundhogs" on this thread.

"Groundhog" is the name a Christian poster has given to people who bring up the pagan roots of various aspects of Christianity.

I'm a devout Catholic and I acknowledge that Christianity as we know it today was grafted onto pagan beliefs and holidays in many, many cultures. My Irish forebears were Druidic pagans. My African ones were animist polytheists. I'm sure Christianity was more palatable to them if it resembled the religions of their cultures. Doesn't lessen my faith.

I think we need to differentiate between "pagan roots" as in December 25th being chosen in lieu of knowing his actual birthdate, and the Groundhog who is always going on about some rather hilarious supposed ancient Egyptian roots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the suggestions. I also had a Xmas tree growing up (as did my spouse), because our parents did the Xmas tree as part of adopting some aspects of American culture. I remember liking it, but it always felt in some way not enough....like we were faking it. Even as a child I realized I was doing a small part of the Christmas experience, and it made me feel....left out.

Things are different now than when I grew up - there's no need to adopt others' traditions where we live - there are a lot of Indians in my town. My kids are WAAAY more in touch with their Indian heritage than I was growing up, and that is in large part due the changes in demographics, but also what the population has chose to emphasize - religion, language, arts, etc. At any rate, my husband and I really want our kids to be able to turn to the tenets of our faith for guidance through their lives. And we think a big part of that is knowing who we aren't, and who we aren't. And we aren't Christian.

We put lights up outside our house for Diwali and leave them on until Jan 2, so we do have lights during Xmas too. I just think its going to be a slippery slope if I get them a tree. Then it will be presents next (when most Hindu holidays are NOT about gift-giving) and Santa, etc. etc. Where does it end? But I also don't want them to feel sad or left out.

Since you grew up with a Christmas tree in your house, do you think that hurt your ability to "know who you are" and practice/turn to your faith for guidance through your life?

+1 to this question. Did having a tree in your house make you lose your language, faith and traditions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looks like there are several "Groundhogs" on this thread.

"Groundhog" is the name a Christian poster has given to people who bring up the pagan roots of various aspects of Christianity.

I'm a devout Catholic and I acknowledge that Christianity as we know it today was grafted onto pagan beliefs and holidays in many, many cultures. My Irish forebears were Druidic pagans. My African ones were animist polytheists. I'm sure Christianity was more palatable to them if it resembled the religions of their cultures. Doesn't lessen my faith.

I think we need to differentiate between "pagan roots" as in December 25th being chosen in lieu of knowing his actual birthdate, and the Groundhog who is always going on about some rather hilarious supposed ancient Egyptian roots.

PS. Most Christians know about and are fine with the former: we don't know Jesus' true birthdate, so the Romans chose an existing festival, and so what? The latter makes us roll our eyes, both for the ludicrous alleged parallels and for Groundhog's own behavior.