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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Thanks for the suggestions. I also had a Xmas tree growing up (as did my spouse), because our parents did the Xmas tree as part of adopting some aspects of American culture. I remember liking it, but it always felt in some way not enough....like we were faking it. Even as a child I realized I was doing a small part of the Christmas experience, and it made me feel....left out.

Things are different now than when I grew up - there's no need to adopt others' traditions where we live - there are a lot of Indians in my town. My kids are WAAAY more in touch with their Indian heritage than I was growing up, and that is in large part due the changes in demographics, but also what the population has chose to emphasize - religion, language, arts, etc.  At any rate, my husband and I really want our kids to be able to turn to the tenets of our faith for guidance through their lives. And we think a big part of that is knowing who we aren't, and who we aren't. And we aren't Christian.

We put lights up outside our house for Diwali and leave them on until Jan 2, so we do have lights during Xmas too. I just think its going to be a slippery slope if I get them a tree. Then it will be presents next (when most Hindu holidays are NOT about gift-giving) and Santa, etc. etc. Where does it end?  But I also don't want them to feel sad or left out.

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Since you grew up with a Christmas tree in your house, do you think that hurt your ability to "know who you are" and practice/turn to your faith for guidance through your life?  [/quote]

+1 to this question. Did having a tree in your house make you lose your language, faith and traditions? [/quote]

oh, sorry, I missed this. In a word, no. The tree itself did not hurt me. But I was *really* out of touch with my traditions until I was a young adult, and I think the tree was just another characteristic of how out of touch my siblings and I were. I am 35, grew up in 80s and went to school with 2 other indian kids. Things changed for me when I went to college where there were a ton of us - I had a bit of a spiritual awakening if you will and learned a lot about my own religion. We stopped doing a tree then, at my request (turns out siblings did not care one way or the other). I have more faith now than I did as a child and I wish my parents had tried to explain our traditions in an age appropriate way (in English or our mother tongue). They were wonderful parents (still are) but they were very very busy - worked hard as many families do - and were not always mindful about what part of our culture to keep or leave behind....so they just copied other Indian families, and what they did.  At some point, somewhere, some Hindu decided Xmas trees were pretty and they wanted one and then it was just like dominoes in the community!! LOL. And then some started doing wreaths on their door, like a few of my aunts, without understanding what it symbolizes.  In retrospect, it seems a little mindless, all of it.

Everyone is free to worship as they please, but we have plenty of good festivals/holidays with amazing messages in our religion without having to borrow others'.

Btw, we have a group of 10 Indian-American families (all second gen) that we regularly do things with. None of them have trees in their house, except for one who is married to a Christian. But we all do Diwali with fireworks in style.  I don't think the Hindu/Sikh with a Christmas tree is the default - it's certainly not in India....you make that choice. [/quote]

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