Would you be a sugar baby?

[Anonymous]

We call ourselves feminists and then judge women for using a very powerful resource (their beauty) to their advantage.

Go for it, OP. You can always end the arrangement if things get froggy. Don't listen to the haters - they just wish they'd had an opportunity like this when they were finishing grad school.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am very much a prude. But this is nothing more than a friend with benefit with more benefits.

You know him, you care for him. You don't love him or want to spend the rest of your life with him.

I think you need an exit plan but otherwise go for it.

No, Friends with Benefits is not one person paying another person for sex. That's called something else.

The question is, would she have a sexual relationship with this man absent the cash? If the answer is no, then...

Better to have uncommitted sex and no payout than uncommitted sex and a payout?

You're weird.

Sex for money is prostitution. The prostitute is only doing it for the money. Sex between 2 consenting adults is either dating, having a fling or a number of possibilities but it doesn't include money for sex.

I actually view prostitution as an opportunity for men/woman to have sex with a woman/man without any strings, not calls, not stalking ... it comes with a fee.

OP is not just having sex, they are going to dinner, movies and having a genuine caring relationship. That is not part of prostitution.

A caring relationship contracted for a fee is not a caring relationship. As many have said, if she's unwilling to have this same caring relationship without getting the cash, then it is what it is.

From what I read, the OP is having a caring relationship with this guy. They are friends. They care for each other. They actually have sex... when they are drunk... which is okay as long as he does not give her any money????? That is silly.

I love how women think it is okay to have sex with multiple guys as long as the guy gives you nothing in return... not even a phone call... it's women's liberation all screwed (pun intended ) up. Look at me... I have sex with no strings attached ... just like men... bully for me.

^^ +1000

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:As a professional woman with two graduate degrees in her early 40s with loans and credit card bills that were used to support my basic living expenses in my 20s (rent, books, etc.) that I feel I will never, ever, ever get out from underneath of, I say go for it. I am shackled with debt even though I've had a job since I was 13 and I don't live beyond my means. But I have gotten a great education and lived in more expensive cities and, like you, have made something of myself despite my poverty-stricken childhood with a mentally ill single parent. My only regret is that I didn't do something like this when I was younger. And you really have none of the concerns that would worry me--trying to establish this relationship with a stranger, trying to do this with someone you found physically revolting or someone whose company you didn't enjoy. He's a nice guy who you already know isn't a freak. He's ok in bed. He's done this before. GO FOR IT.

But, I really would just embrace it and do it right. Screw feeling too morally shy to get a good deal for yourself. If you're doing it, do it smart. Tuition PLUS other stuff--not "gifts" and not cash. Tangible stuff. Like rent. And have it paid in advance (it will help take out the transactional nature of it). And you two need a real conversation re: whether you are permitted to date others and also talk birth control and STD protection. And have an end date. It will be helpful to you both. The exit is the thing that could get really, really messy. For both of you. What if you want out and he doesn't? Vice versa. Have clear conversations now so it's workable when it ends. And good luck.

And when it's over, don't look back. You are alone in this world. You did what you needed to do and it doesn't have to define who you will be later.

Why don't you prostitute yourself today to pay off your debts then?

LOL, getting two grad degrees was probably a bit much.[/quotle]

So as a mom would you recommend this to your daughter?

funny you ask that. But in my culture, given the choice between a poor man I loved and a rich ugly man I didn't love, my mom would tell me to marry the rich man. So yeah, that sounds like prostitution to me. I'm not sure my culture is not the only one that would produce a person that would encourage such a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We call ourselves feminists and then judge women for using a very powerful resource (their beauty) to their advantage.

Go for it, OP. You can always end the arrangement if things get froggy. Don't listen to the haters - they just wish they'd had an opportunity like this when they were finishing grad school.

Seems an odd viewpoint to me. Not sure how reducing yourself to being some man's vessel in exchange for cash would be some sort of feminist ideal.

[Anonymous]

OP, will you please address the loan option?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I did this recently and have been regretting it. I don't suggest this.

x2.

NOT worth the money, that's all I can say.

Did the X2 poster also regret it?

Yes I did regret it. And the guy was attractive and nice.

I actually think it gave me really bad trust issues and possibly PTSD. It's just weird, reducing your value down to just sex. I thought I was fine with it at first and over time I realized how upset I was. Has taken a long time to heal.

I wish we could connect. I also think I ended up with PTSD.

[Anonymous]

Every woman would do this if there were no repercussions and it was essentially free money. You're giving him TIME. You'll seriously regret it later. Don't do it. Go and talk to a therapist about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every woman would do this if there were no repercussions and it was essentially free money. You're giving him TIME. You'll seriously regret it later. Don't do it. Go and talk to a therapist about this.

I would not. I was uncomfortable with my own DH paying my tuition for a certificate program I needed.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it. I fucked for money once. when I was 18, I needed to pay someone back really fast. I worked one night a week as a waitress. I asked my boss (who I know hired me because he thought I was hot) if he could pay me upfront for one month. I had to give him a BJ for it, which turned into some serious fucking. I don't think I ever moaned so hard and fucked like a pornstar, just to please this asshole to pay me upfront, not even extra! I feel terrible about him having his fun till this very day. It's definitely the easiest way, but you'll suffer from it. Try something else. I know it's hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We call ourselves feminists and then judge women for using a very powerful resource (their beauty) to their advantage.

Go for it, OP. You can always end the arrangement if things get froggy. Don't listen to the haters - they just wish they'd had an opportunity like this when they were finishing grad school.

Seems an odd viewpoint to me. Not sure how reducing yourself to being some man's vessel in exchange for cash would be some sort of feminist ideal.

Maybe descend from your ivory tower for a moment to realize that, indeed, not everyone has multiple "second chances" and a soft place to land. Supporting women for leveraging the resources they do have is feminist. Judging women for the same is not.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Every woman would do this if there were no repercussions and it was essentially free money. You're giving him TIME. You'll seriously regret it later. Don't do it. Go and talk to a therapist about this.

I would not. I was uncomfortable with my own DH paying my tuition for a certificate program I needed.

Do you feel uncomfortable having your employer pay you? In all seriousness, it sounds like you have issues with money. I would absolutely contribute towards a degree program for my husband.

[Anonymous]

Op. Be a hooker. No one cares here.

[Anonymous]

I say give it a try and end it if it's not working. It's your life and your body and I doubt you'll regret it much more than any other relationship that didn't work out years down the line. You know yourself best, so if don't think it's going to cause emotional issues or guilt, it probably won't, but if it does, you can stop.

[Anonymous]

I would do this and feel no qualms about it. But then, I would have taken the money he offered to give back before he suggested this arrangement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say give it a try and end it if it's not working. It's your life and your body and I doubt you'll regret it much more than any other relationship that didn't work out years down the line. You know yourself best, so if don't think it's going to cause emotional issues or guilt, it probably won't, but if it does, you can stop.

I agree. And OP maybe you could find two or three other guys who could payf for the nights that Sugar Daddy isn't claiming. (Try for a set schedule. That'll make it easier.) Heck, if you can line up enough clients you won't even need that degree. Unleash that entrepreneurial spirit!