Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: If you said something to me you would be very unhappy with what I said back.

THIS!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Suprised at the number of people concerned about 4-5-6-7 year olds boys in the locker room. I know when I change I do so quickly and discretely. Also I try not to look at others while they are changing. I teach my children to do the same in public lockers. Not sure what the big problem is.

I've been a locker room where the 5-6-7 year old stood around and stared at the naked old ladies. It wasn't sexual, just obnoxious and rude. The ladies' locker room is for ladies to change. I shouldn't have to hunt down a bathroom stall to change because OP is too privileged to wait for the family locker room or change her kid in the handicapped stall in the women's room.

I have, in fact, said something to mothers who bring their big boys into the ladies' room. I am polite, but firm, and tell them that the rules of the pool are that boys over the age of 3 are too big to be in the ladies' locker room and that they should use the family locker rooms. I also tell them that their children are making other people uncomfortable. I've had a few people yell back at me, but I promise you that their embarrassment (breaking rules, rude kid, now Mom is acting rudely, too) was a lot greater than my discomfort over their rudeness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My kids started year round swimming at 5. That meant I waited for a family changing room if we were at a pool that had one or I held a towel up and changed them in a quietish corner or I threw a robe on them and drove them home if it was warm. I'm not a free range parent but I'm also not going to intrude on someone else's privacy. I would sometimes also use a women's restroom that wasn't a changing room to get them changed. Have I been boiling hot at a pool trying to hold up a towel and change my kid with sweat pouring off of me because I am not intruding on others and have a 5.5/6 year old. Yes. Is it miserable for a FEW MINUTES for me? Yes, but big deal. Knowing I have kids of different sexes, I knew I wouldn't want my kids uncomfortable with someone in the locker room of their designated sex. If I see you in the locker room with a kid who clearly doesn't belong there, I'm saying something to you.

It is a public locker room, "privacy" is rather relative here.

And just because you want to martyr yourself doesn't mean that others need to. A lot of pools allow kids of the opposite gender to accompany their parents into the locker room up through a certain age, 5 or 6 seems common.

I mean really can't you understand that what works for your family may not work for others for a variety of reasons - there could be lots of reasons people may not want to change their children poolside. The first too that come to mend are:
- parent also needs to change out of swimwear
- kid also needs to use the bathroom
And then I start to think of special needs many of which are not always obvious.

+1, most people do not realize my child has special needs nor is it something I announce.

I have changed my SN in the handicapped stall of the ladies room many times. I changed myself there, too. There is absolutely no reason not to do this, if there is one available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My kids started year round swimming at 5. That meant I waited for a family changing room if we were at a pool that had one or I held a towel up and changed them in a quietish corner or I threw a robe on them and drove them home if it was warm. I'm not a free range parent but I'm also not going to intrude on someone else's privacy. I would sometimes also use a women's restroom that wasn't a changing room to get them changed. Have I been boiling hot at a pool trying to hold up a towel and change my kid with sweat pouring off of me because I am not intruding on others and have a 5.5/6 year old. Yes. Is it miserable for a FEW MINUTES for me? Yes, but big deal. Knowing I have kids of different sexes, I knew I wouldn't want my kids uncomfortable with someone in the locker room of their designated sex. If I see you in the locker room with a kid who clearly doesn't belong there, I'm saying something to you.

It is a public locker room, "privacy" is rather relative here.

And just because you want to martyr yourself doesn't mean that others need to. A lot of pools allow kids of the opposite gender to accompany their parents into the locker room up through a certain age, 5 or 6 seems common.

I mean really can't you understand that what works for your family may not work for others for a variety of reasons - there could be lots of reasons people may not want to change their children poolside. The first too that come to mend are:
- parent also needs to change out of swimwear
- kid also needs to use the bathroom
And then I start to think of special needs many of which are not always obvious.

+1, most people do not realize my child has special needs nor is it something I announce.

I have changed my SN in the handicapped stall of the ladies room many times. I changed myself there, too. There is absolutely no reason not to do this, if there is one available.

It's not how you do it, some are complaining that you bring your child in the dressing room at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suprised at the number of people concerned about 4-5-6-7 year olds boys in the locker room. I know when I change I do so quickly and discretely. Also I try not to look at others while they are changing. I teach my children to do the same in public lockers. Not sure what the big problem is.

I've been a locker room where the 5-6-7 year old stood around and stared at the naked old ladies. It wasn't sexual, just obnoxious and rude. The ladies' locker room is for ladies to change. I shouldn't have to hunt down a bathroom stall to change because OP is too privileged to wait for the family locker room or change her kid in the handicapped stall in the women's room.

I have, in fact, said something to mothers who bring their big boys into the ladies' room. I am polite, but firm, and tell them that the rules of the pool are that boys over the age of 3 are too big to be in the ladies' locker room and that they should use the family locker rooms. I also tell them that their children are making other people uncomfortable. I've had a few people yell back at me, but I promise you that their embarrassment (breaking rules, rude kid, now Mom is acting rudely, too) was a lot greater than my discomfort over their rudeness.

If you are uncomfortable, you go in the stall. A handicapped stall is just that. It is for handicapped. It is not your personal dressing room. I only used them with a child in a stroller or otherwise you squeeze into a regular stall. You would not park in a handicapped spot, so why would you use a stall. If those women are not comfortable, then they need to be more discrete. You are not the changing room police. My three year old was nonverbal and could not change himself. He would not have even understood me telling him to walk through, let alone change. He could not even tell you his name if he had a problem. Really, you think it is safe and appropiate?

Where are all these family locker rooms you talk about? I have yet to see one at the county pool we go to. You are not getting not everyone belongs to a country club or pool and some of us make due with the options available to us.

I would never be embarrased to tell you to mind your own business or I am getting staff based off of your harassment.

You are the one who belongs in the stall if you want privacy. Really, no one wants to look at your sagging breasts, belly and wrinkly body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Where are all these family locker rooms you talk about?

+1

Some posters can not seem to get it through their heads that not all pools have these.

In cold weather I am going to bring my son into the women's locker room with me (if my husband isn't with us) so long as he is under the age limit. Really what else am I to do if there are no family changing rooms or other bathrooms. I really don't think it would be appropriate for my 4.5 yo son and I to change in the lobby area and I'm not sure what you expect me to do if either of us has to pee.

I do not get some people.

[Anonymous]

For parents of kids with SN, what is your plan when your child is over the stated age allowed in the locker room?

[Anonymous]

If your kid is over the age of the rule for the locker rooms at your pool, then you should not be bringing him/her into the opposite sex locker room. It's that simple. If you are not comfortable having your child change in the same sex locker room, then put dry clothes on over his/her suit and go home and change.

If you think the age limit at your pool is not appropriate (either too old or too young), then speak to management, suck it up or change pools.

Why are you all making this so difficult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For parents of kids with SN, what is your plan when your child is over the stated age allowed in the locker room?

Hopefully soon the thousands and thousands we pay in multiple times a week therapy will pay off, but regardless of special needs, he will stay with a parent till we are comfortable. Even if he had no special needs, a five year old has no business being unsupervised in a locker room. That is neglect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is over the age of the rule for the locker rooms at your pool, then you should not be bringing him/her into the opposite sex locker room. It's that simple. If you are not comfortable having your child change in the same sex locker room, then put dry clothes on over his/her suit and go home and change.

If you think the age limit at your pool is not appropriate (either too old or too young), then speak to management, suck it up or change pools.

Why are you all making this so difficult?

Not all pools have rules. If someone is not comefortable, they should put their clothes on over their suit or go in a stall. I do not get why anyone except a child would undress or dress in public. I absolutely would not. If you are concerned about someone looking, do not show it. Why is it ok an old lady can show all but not a child with a parent changing them. Or, maybe we should skip the swim lessons and let our kids drown.

[Anonymous]

Because it's a locker room! At a pool! That is what people do in locker rooms at pools - they change into dry clothes.

Find me a pool that does not have a rule about age for kids to use the opposite sex locker room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parents of kids with SN, what is your plan when your child is over the stated age allowed in the locker room?

Hopefully soon the thousands and thousands we pay in multiple times a week therapy will pay off, but regardless of special needs, he will stay with a parent till we are comfortable. Even if he had no special needs, a five year old has no business being unsupervised in a locker room. That is neglect.

So which is it then:

a. I will continue to bring him to the pool and into the locker room and ignore the signage and rules. If I'm not comfortable but want my kid to do something, I'll do it my way regardless of any others' feelings, views, rules, etc.

b. I will not bring him somewhere that will require me to break the rules unless I can comply with the rules as they are stated for everyone. Meaning, I wanted the rules to apply to me and others when my kid was 5 and was in the locker room and others complained and I pointed out that my kid was 5 and the rule said 6 and over needed to be in the right sex locker room. I will likewise abide by the rule when I don't like it but others may (i.e. when my kid is 6).

Need nothing more than an "a" or "b". Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parents of kids with SN, what is your plan when your child is over the stated age allowed in the locker room?

Hopefully soon the thousands and thousands we pay in multiple times a week therapy will pay off, but regardless of special needs, he will stay with a parent till we are comfortable. Even if he had no special needs, a five year old has no business being unsupervised in a locker room. That is neglect.

There should be a family changing room at your pool. There really should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suprised at the number of people concerned about 4-5-6-7 year olds boys in the locker room. I know when I change I do so quickly and discretely. Also I try not to look at others while they are changing. I teach my children to do the same in public lockers. Not sure what the big problem is.

I've been a locker room where the 5-6-7 year old stood around and stared at the naked old ladies. It wasn't sexual, just obnoxious and rude. The ladies' locker room is for ladies to change. I shouldn't have to hunt down a bathroom stall to change because OP is too privileged to wait for the family locker room or change her kid in the handicapped stall in the women's room.

I have, in fact, said something to mothers who bring their big boys into the ladies' room. I am polite, but firm, and tell them that the rules of the pool are that boys over the age of 3 are too big to be in the ladies' locker room and that they should use the family locker rooms. I also tell them that their children are making other people uncomfortable. I've had a few people yell back at me, but I promise you that their embarrassment (breaking rules, rude kid, now Mom is acting rudely, too) was a lot greater than my discomfort over their rudeness.

If you are uncomfortable, you go in the stall. A handicapped stall is just that. It is for handicapped. It is not your personal dressing room. I only used them with a child in a stroller or otherwise you squeeze into a regular stall. You would not park in a handicapped spot, so why would you use a stall. If those women are not comfortable, then they need to be more discrete. You are not the changing room police. My three year old was nonverbal and could not change himself. He would not have even understood me telling him to walk through, let alone change. He could not even tell you his name if he had a problem. Really, you think it is safe and appropiate?

Where are all these family locker rooms you talk about? I have yet to see one at the county pool we go to. You are not getting not everyone belongs to a country club or pool and some of us make due with the options available to us.

I would never be embarrased to tell you to mind your own business or I am getting staff based off of your harassment.

You are the one who belongs in the stall if you want privacy. Really, no one wants to look at your sagging breasts, belly and wrinkly body.

You are a fantastically entitled twat. "I don't care if I am breaking rules or social norms! The only thing that matters is that I get to do what I want when I want!" You and your kid are nightmares. I hope someone yells at you every single time. If they make your kid cry, maybe you'll stop being such an entitled bitch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suprised at the number of people concerned about 4-5-6-7 year olds boys in the locker room. I know when I change I do so quickly and discretely. Also I try not to look at others while they are changing. I teach my children to do the same in public lockers. Not sure what the big problem is.

I've been a locker room where the 5-6-7 year old stood around and stared at the naked old ladies. It wasn't sexual, just obnoxious and rude. The ladies' locker room is for ladies to change. I shouldn't have to hunt down a bathroom stall to change because OP is too privileged to wait for the family locker room or change her kid in the handicapped stall in the women's room.

I have, in fact, said something to mothers who bring their big boys into the ladies' room. I am polite, but firm, and tell them that the rules of the pool are that boys over the age of 3 are too big to be in the ladies' locker room and that they should use the family locker rooms. I also tell them that their children are making other people uncomfortable. I've had a few people yell back at me, but I promise you that their embarrassment (breaking rules, rude kid, now Mom is acting rudely, too) was a lot greater than my discomfort over their rudeness.

If you are uncomfortable, you go in the stall. A handicapped stall is just that. It is for handicapped. It is not your personal dressing room. I only used them with a child in a stroller or otherwise you squeeze into a regular stall. You would not park in a handicapped spot, so why would you use a stall. If those women are not comfortable, then they need to be more discrete. You are not the changing room police. My three year old was nonverbal and could not change himself. He would not have even understood me telling him to walk through, let alone change. He could not even tell you his name if he had a problem. Really, you think it is safe and appropiate?

Where are all these family locker rooms you talk about? I have yet to see one at the county pool we go to. You are not getting not everyone belongs to a country club or pool and some of us make due with the options available to us.

I would never be embarrased to tell you to mind your own business or I am getting staff based off of your harassment.

You are the one who belongs in the stall if you want privacy. Really, no one wants to look at your sagging breasts, belly and wrinkly body.

You have the handicapped kid. You should use the stall or a changing poncho on the deck. If you can't abide by the rules, then you should keep your snowflake home or find a facility that can meet your special needs. Being SN doesn't mean that your needs trumps everyone else's rights or societal norms.