If you're a non-contributer parent to "school extras"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. You're not "voting" that things are too excessive by contributing nothing. If you don't want to put on a teacher breakfast or a holiday party, then TELL somebody. Tell the room mom, or tell the principal. Give your reasons. Be an adult. Don't just blow everyone off and think you are on some moral high ground.

Yeah, right. That'll really make the room-mothers happy.

I don't think it's about making the room parents happy or unhappy. Not contributing doesn't imply a vote since people don't donate or participate for a broad range of reasons as seen on this thread. If you have an objection to the particular activity, let it be known to the principal or whomever. Silence = consent in most cases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. You're not "voting" that things are too excessive by contributing nothing. If you don't want to put on a teacher breakfast or a holiday party, then TELL somebody. Tell the room mom, or tell the principal. Give your reasons. Be an adult. Don't just blow everyone off and think you are on some moral high ground.

Yeah, right. That'll really make the room-mothers happy.

I don't think it's about making the room parents happy or unhappy. Not contributing doesn't imply a vote since people don't donate or participate for a broad range of reasons as seen on this thread. If you have an objection to the particular activity, let it be known to the principal or whomever. Silence = consent in most cases.

But silence + non-participation + non-funding =/= consent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. You're not "voting" that things are too excessive by contributing nothing. If you don't want to put on a teacher breakfast or a holiday party, then TELL somebody. Tell the room mom, or tell the principal. Give your reasons. Be an adult. Don't just blow everyone off and think you are on some moral high ground.

Yeah, right. That'll really make the room-mothers happy.

I don't think it's about making the room parents happy or unhappy. Not contributing doesn't imply a vote since people don't donate or participate for a broad range of reasons as seen on this thread. If you have an objection to the particular activity, let it be known to the principal or whomever. Silence = consent in most cases.

But silence + non-participation + non-funding =/= consent.

Respectfully, I disagree unless you also go the final step of not allowing your child to participate. The problem that OP was alluding to at the very beginning, quite possibly, is that you get far too many parents who are silent, don't participate and don't $$ support. I doubt it's because all of them object to the activities, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. You're not "voting" that things are too excessive by contributing nothing. If you don't want to put on a teacher breakfast or a holiday party, then TELL somebody. Tell the room mom, or tell the principal. Give your reasons. Be an adult. Don't just blow everyone off and think you are on some moral high ground.

Yeah, right. That'll really make the room-mothers happy.

I don't think it's about making the room parents happy or unhappy. Not contributing doesn't imply a vote since people don't donate or participate for a broad range of reasons as seen on this thread. If you have an objection to the particular activity, let it be known to the principal or whomever. Silence = consent in most cases.

But silence + non-participation + non-funding =/= consent.

Respectfully, I disagree unless you also go the final step of not allowing your child to participate. The problem that OP was alluding to at the very beginning, quite possibly, is that you get far too many parents who are silent, don't participate and don't $$ support. I doubt it's because all of them object to the activities, though.

I agree with PP who said that silence + non-participation + non-funding =/= consent.

And here's the rub: non-participation (asking that a child not participate in an activity) creates MORE work for the teachers. B/c they have to come up with an activity/extra work for the child to do while the rest of the class is doing the activity you don't like. So, then you feel like you are being a REALLY pita to the teacher.

Believe me, I want to ask that my child not participate in the dumb activities. But my mom (former K teacher) has told me I will thus make MORE WORK for the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. You're not "voting" that things are too excessive by contributing nothing. If you don't want to put on a teacher breakfast or a holiday party, then TELL somebody. Tell the room mom, or tell the principal. Give your reasons. Be an adult. Don't just blow everyone off and think you are on some moral high ground.

Yeah, right. That'll really make the room-mothers happy.

I don't think it's about making the room parents happy or unhappy. Not contributing doesn't imply a vote since people don't donate or participate for a broad range of reasons as seen on this thread. If you have an objection to the particular activity, let it be known to the principal or whomever. Silence = consent in most cases.

I respectfully disagree. Silence/non-response = I am not interested in doing this project.

[Anonymous]

I participate in as few events as possible b/c I wish the teacher/PTA/room mothers would stop planning them.

I want the school to just TEACH my friggin' kid. Isn't that what school is supposed to be about/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. You're not "voting" that things are too excessive by contributing nothing. If you don't want to put on a teacher breakfast or a holiday party, then TELL somebody. Tell the room mom, or tell the principal. Give your reasons. Be an adult. Don't just blow everyone off and think you are on some moral high ground.

Yeah, right. That'll really make the room-mothers happy.

I don't think it's about making the room parents happy or unhappy. Not contributing doesn't imply a vote since people don't donate or participate for a broad range of reasons as seen on this thread. If you have an objection to the particular activity, let it be known to the principal or whomever. Silence = consent in most cases.

I respectfully disagree. Silence/non-response = I am not interested in doing this project.

Is there a difference between "I'm not interested" and "I think this is a poor idea and shouldn't be happening at all"? The first is one thing. The second is where I think you should speak up instead of just not engaging.

I mentioned above that I'm a room parent, but I've also used that opportunity to let the school leadership know that I don't agree with a particular activity and won't help organize or participate for x, y, z reasons. I might not go as far as not having my kid participate depending on what it is, but I'm proactive in asking them to re-think the entire activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I participate in as few events as possible b/c I wish the teacher/PTA/room mothers would stop planning them.

I want the school to just TEACH my friggin' kid. Isn't that what school is supposed to be about/

YES. Couldn't have said it better myself. I think the PTA/room mothers make so much additional busy work for themselves and others. I have a friend who is constantly complaining about how she "has no time for anything anymore" due to all the PTA junk she helps plan. For crying out loud, just let the teachers teach the kids.

[Anonymous]

I just discovered this thread and read all 8 pages. I'm a private school parent who sends a big check and participates in 1 or 2 activities per year. I work FT and don't have the bandwidth for more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. You're not "voting" that things are too excessive by contributing nothing. If you don't want to put on a teacher breakfast or a holiday party, then TELL somebody. Tell the room mom, or tell the principal. Give your reasons. Be an adult. Don't just blow everyone off and think you are on some moral high ground.

Yeah, right. That'll really make the room-mothers happy.

I don't think it's about making the room parents happy or unhappy. Not contributing doesn't imply a vote since people don't donate or participate for a broad range of reasons as seen on this thread. If you have an objection to the particular activity, let it be known to the principal or whomever. Silence = consent in most cases.

I respectfully disagree. Silence/non-response = I am not interested in doing this project.

Is there a difference between "I'm not interested" and "I think this is a poor idea and shouldn't be happening at all"? The first is one thing. The second is where I think you should speak up instead of just not engaging.

I mentioned above that I'm a room parent, but I've also used that opportunity to let the school leadership know that I don't agree with a particular activity and won't help organize or participate for x, y, z reasons. I might not go as far as not having my kid participate depending on what it is, but I'm proactive in asking them to re-think the entire activity.

Do you think the schools would appreciate it if every single parent were as micromanaging as you are, PP? I don't.

[Anonymous]

Teachers end up spending too much energy/goodwill managing volunteers and their projects. Parents and educators can easily lose sight of the job at hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. You're not "voting" that things are too excessive by contributing nothing. If you don't want to put on a teacher breakfast or a holiday party, then TELL somebody. Tell the room mom, or tell the principal. Give your reasons. Be an adult. Don't just blow everyone off and think you are on some moral high ground.

Yeah, right. That'll really make the room-mothers happy.

I don't think it's about making the room parents happy or unhappy. Not contributing doesn't imply a vote since people don't donate or participate for a broad range of reasons as seen on this thread. If you have an objection to the particular activity, let it be known to the principal or whomever. Silence = consent in most cases.

I respectfully disagree. Silence/non-response = I am not interested in doing this project.

Is there a difference between "I'm not interested" and "I think this is a poor idea and shouldn't be happening at all"? The first is one thing. The second is where I think you should speak up instead of just not engaging.

I mentioned above that I'm a room parent, but I've also used that opportunity to let the school leadership know that I don't agree with a particular activity and won't help organize or participate for x, y, z reasons. I might not go as far as not having my kid participate depending on what it is, but I'm proactive in asking them to re-think the entire activity.

Do you think the schools would appreciate it if every single parent were as micromanaging as you are, PP? I don't.

I don't either. I think we all would become known as PITA parents. "I don't want my kid doing Stupid Activity XYZ. Can you have them sit in the room and do extra worksheets while the rest of the class does Stupid Activity XYZ? Oh, that means you have to have someone else watch my child while you are with the rest of the class at Stupid Activity XYZ? And you have to plan another activity for my child?" School cannot become a salad bar where you pick and choose exactly what your child is doing. Trust me, teachers will REALLY not like that.

[Anonymous]

I saw this article the other day, "Can We Bring Holiday Activities Down a Notch?" and I think it perfectly exemplifies what some of us are talking about. We do NOT want all of these excessive events and extras, either at home or at school. JUST STOP THEM. And that is why a lot of us do not contribute, volunteer, etc. for these types of things.

[Anonymous]

It would help if I put the link!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kristen-howerton/can-we-bring-the-holidays_b_2903040.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I respectfully disagree. Silence/non-response = I am not interested in doing this project.

Is there a difference between "I'm not interested" and "I think this is a poor idea and shouldn't be happening at all"? The first is one thing. The second is where I think you should speak up instead of just not engaging.

I mentioned above that I'm a room parent, but I've also used that opportunity to let the school leadership know that I don't agree with a particular activity and won't help organize or participate for x, y, z reasons. I might not go as far as not having my kid participate depending on what it is, but I'm proactive in asking them to re-think the entire activity.

Do you think the schools would appreciate it if every single parent were as micromanaging as you are, PP? I don't.

Huge assumption, don't you think?

"Room parent, could you help man the bookfair or try to round up some volunteers?" Me: "Ok, happy to help"
"Room parent, we're running low on some basic supplies for the room. Any chance you or some other parents might bring in some crayons or boxes of kleenex?" Me: "Ok, happy to help"
"Room parent, would you help us organize a bake sale to raise money for x, y, or z?" Me: "I can help you find some volunteers, but can't help out with this one"

Not exactly micromanaging by my book, however what I do see is the same small subset of parents stepping up with time or money. No question there are likely some parents doing other things that I don't know about and it's none of my business to know about, but it is sometimes discouraging to feel as if everyone's happy to let someone else do the work of supporting some of those extra efforts that contribute to the general school community.