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When I was 15 I disliked my mother's boyfriend. I was rude to him. My mom told me that if I was trying to make her choose, she would choose her boyfriend. She said that if I continued to be a brat she would choose her boyfriend and no longer be my mother.
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What ended up happening? Did she choose the boyfriend or did you become nicer to him? |
It's extremely rude to say this and demonstrates a lack if empathy by you. Who are you to judge what may or may not be hurtf to someone else? You haven't walked in their shoes. Or experienced what they did. Sometimes it's not what is said it is who says it. |
Don't apologize. It is very funny... NOW. An it actually led to major progress in therapy (the list of mean things is long), so I am cool with it. Glad you laughed. |
My mom did the same PP. I know how hurtful this is. Eventually the fog lifted and the jerky boyfriend cheated on my mom, but she always put men over me and my sibling. |
| My cousins at a wedding when they met my DH, "Wow, you married a normal guy!" |
| I owe many gems to my mother. One went something like "people are nice to you because you're useful to them. They don't consider you an equal." |
| "Do you need help carrying those bags out to your car?" - this after spending the morning walking 5 miles and lifting weights at the gym. Crap. |
| Ha, just this weekend, somebody asked me if I had adopted my son. My son looks exactly like me, so I was confused. Then I thought, "OH SHIT - has early parenthood aged me THAT much that I now don't look like I could have physically conceived my son?" (I am only 38). Then I realized that he really just thought I was a lesbian because I was dressed like a hungover lumberjack. Not that there's anything wrong with adopting or being a lesbian, of course! |
Ugh, I got a similar line from dad and stepmother. "The parents are more important than the children." |
I was nicer to him. This is one of many mean things she has said and done, and we no longer talk. |
Did you start calling her Big B*tch?! |
Still an incredibly rude question. I don't think she was thinking at all about the phrasing of her question. That is, I think she'd seen the baby several times, cooed over him, told me he was adorable, so when she noticed that he might be biracial, it came out wrong. I wasn't offended by her comment, and didn't respond in an angry or defensive tone, because I really think she meant "I wonder if his father is black, is he?" which would be stretching the boundaries a little, but isn't nearly as rude as what she actually said. |
Not out loud. |
+1. That is very common and is a sign of forgetfulness and not an insult |