What kind of invitation is this anyways?

[Anonymous]

An invite that asks you to bring a dish is totally normal. An invite that asks you to bring your entire meal plus chairs is tacky. I would decline the invite, because I don't feel like doing what it asks in order to attend. But I have no idea why you would say something to the woman other than that you couldn't make it. Telling her now will serve no purpose other than to make her feel bad - the invite is already out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One time I had a friend who got married and could only afford an afternoon cake-and-punch buffet as a reception.

I have not spoken to that bitch since. Here's a hint: if you can't afford to host a wedding up to your friends' standards, don't invite them. DUH... that's not obvious?

OP here - being invited to an afternoon cake and punch buffet sounds lovely.

The invitation I received didn't really seem like a warm, friendly welcoming invitation. It was a list of stuff I needed to bring. It just seemed like it was - hey, if you want to come over and watch us eat outside, you can join us. And if it is raining, DO NOT COME OVER! We can't let anyone inside. It was not a - hey, we'd love to see you. Please come to our cookout. Really, hotdogs and hamburgers are not very expensive. How awkward it will be for all 6 families to share a grill - oh, that was my steak I brought; who brought this chicken burger? Not to mention bringing a cooler with lots of food and drinks plus chairs, etc etc. It just seemed like a big hassle and just not a since invitation to me.

[Anonymous]

Thanks 13:20 for knocking down 13:28 - that comment (I'm taking it as true) was amazing. Almost all of the weddings I went to when younger were much more simpler affairs than today. You had the wedding in the church - then you went next door for the reception in the reception and the ladies of the church helped serve punch (yuck), cake, sometimes ice cream, sometimes Jordan nuts. AND THAT WAS IT! To take offense just because you didn'nt get a buffet dinner and dancing is just bizarre.

[Anonymous]

* sincere

[Anonymous]

Haven't read all the responses but they should have just done a potluck rather than a BBQ. Very, very strange.

[Anonymous]

To answer the actual question posed in the thread title: "What kind of invitation is this anyways?" --

The kind of invitation that will inevitably end up on DCUM with a few bitches who think it's awful and a lot more who have their interpersonal priorities in perspective and would show up and have a great time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read all the responses but they should have just done a potluck rather than a BBQ. Very, very strange.

Um, they DID. It's called a BBQ potluck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An invite that asks you to bring a dish is totally normal. An invite that asks you to bring your entire meal plus chairs is tacky. I would decline the invite, because I don't feel like doing what it asks in order to attend. But I have no idea why you would say something to the woman other than that you couldn't make it. Telling her now will serve no purpose other than to make her feel bad - the invite is already out.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP here - I think if you are inviting folks to your house for a party, you need to be the host, which means being warm and kind and sincere and welcoming.

Being welcoming means making it easy for your guests to come and enjoy a nice time.

You don't have to spend a fortune, but it is odd that you would have people over and have them bring their own food. that is weird and uncomfortable. A true potluck is different.

I just was baffled by the invite. Was the dessert or salad to share with everyone but we each eat our own meat and drink our own drinks and sit in our own chairs.

This family is solidly middle-class. Both parents have jobs. They have a perfectly nice house (I know the subdivison but as I said, I have never been invited over before.)

[Anonymous]

I thought the wedding cake/punch poster was joking around just like the 'no washroom attendant" poster

thanks for the laughs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought the wedding cake/punch poster was joking around just like the 'no washroom attendant" poster

thanks for the laughs!

You were right. I guess my humor is too dry for some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends have done this in the past. They'll invite about 50 people and buy hamburgers and hotdogs. They ask families to bring something like soda, beer, ice, salad, dips, deviled, eggs etc. If people want a steak/pork steak/brat they bring that as well. Due to package sizing, the meat all ends up getting shared anyway. Most of us keep some chairs in the trunk anyway because we all do a lot of activities like softball games, concerts in the park.

We don't think of it as a "party" though. It's just a get together on a Sunday night. Before everyone had 2 kids we did it every Sunday from Memorial Day to Labor Day.

This is the difference. Your friends provide the main course. OP's friends are only going to provide the grill. They are cheap and everyone defending them is equally cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

"I'm inviting you to bring your own dinner and chairs to my family's yard while my family eats dinner"

NP here getting caught up.

I missed it -- what's wrong with the above sentiment? I don't get why it's so insulting. I would love such an invite... fun stuff!

Try as you might, no one has yet gained any traction in explaining why this is so insulting.

Yeah, I get it that at some parties the hosts go all out and the guests have to make no other effort than to just show up. Which is fine if that's what you like.

But nothing wrong with the original invite that I can see. If it wasn't my cup of tea, I would simply decline rather than trying to start a smear campaign.

[Anonymous]

OP here - because it is not really an invitation.

[Anonymous]

Why on earth wouldn't they just call this a potluck? That's clearly what it is.