What kind of invitation is this anyways?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To answer the actual question posed in the thread title: "What kind of invitation is this anyways?" --

The kind of invitation that will inevitably end up on DCUM with a few bitches who think it's awful and a lot more who have their interpersonal priorities in perspective and would show up and have a great time.

No way, man. No normal person is going to waste their time going over to someone else's house to cook their own meal. And if they do, they're probably not going to have a good time.

[Anonymous]

OP - to explain it further, it says to the "invitees" that the host is not willing to do much at all to host them...that the "invitees" are not worth very much effort of her part...they are not even allowed in the house...and while there will be "some fish fillets available" that is sort of a confusing statement...do I risk not bringing anything to grill but then not getting one of the extra fillets that her family doesn't eat...It is just not a warm, welcome invite. IT is sort of a put-down invite.

[Anonymous]

Try as you might, no one has yet gained any traction in explaining why this is so insulting.

I don't think it is "insulting." But it is something that very few people are going to feel like doing. If the inviter is willing to live with that, that is just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - because it is not really an invitation.

Of course it's an invitation. It just doesn't live up to your anal-retentive standards.

[Anonymous]

OP here - A different friend is so incredibly nice. She used to always host a big Passover dinner at her house for a dozen or more people. She cooked for days. No one was allowed to bring anything but wine. She made such a huge effort and it was so appreciated.

I recently saw her (she was in town visiting other friends) and I stopped by at night and she had put out a whole spread of food just for us - little appetizers and little homemade desserts and cut up fruit and cheese and salmon she and her friends had just smoked and she made very nice tea and offered other drinks. I felt very appreciated and felt like she was happy I was visiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To answer the actual question posed in the thread title: "What kind of invitation is this anyways?" --

The kind of invitation that will inevitably end up on DCUM with a few bitches who think it's awful and a lot more who have their interpersonal priorities in perspective and would show up and have a great time.

No way, man. No normal person is going to waste their time going over to someone else's house to cook their own meal. And if they do, they're probably not going to have a good time.

HUH? I've done this a bunch of times and it's a lot of fun. Imagine that, I survived cooking my own meal while socializing with friends.

This whole thread is ridiculous (except for the comic relief sarcastic posts); I am glad I have constructed a social life where an invitation like this would be met with enthusiasm rather than hostility.

[Anonymous]

OP have you had this family over for dinner? Maybe they have found in the past that they give invites to people and provide all the food and no one ever reciprocates. So maybe this is their way of still having friends over without thinking anyone will ever reciprocate. I know I invite people over several times a year and no one every reciprocates. It does get a little tiresome. We usually do all the cooking, but I would like to throw a potluck sometime so everyone does a little cooking. I already have to clean my house and everything in order.

[Anonymous]

your anal-retentive standards.

I don't think her standards are "anal-retentive" at all. If I said to a friend, "hey, why don't you come over for lunch today, bring food and a drink for yourself," that would be very odd. However, I think OP is being mean by (1) considering confronting the inviter about it, and (2) posting about it where the inviter may see. Just say no thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - A different friend is so incredibly nice. She used to always host a big Passover dinner at her house for a dozen or more people. She cooked for days. No one was allowed to bring anything but wine. She made such a huge effort and it was so appreciated.

I recently saw her (she was in town visiting other friends) and I stopped by at night and she had put out a whole spread of food just for us - little appetizers and little homemade desserts and cut up fruit and cheese and salmon she and her friends had just smoked and she made very nice tea and offered other drinks. I felt very appreciated and felt like she was happy I was visiting.

That sounds amazing, she is a talented hostess for sure!

But it's not a binary construct... you can enjoy a great party where you sit back and enjoy being pampered, or you can enjoy a great party where everyone pitches in and has a great time. You don't have to choose between one or the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To answer the actual question posed in the thread title: "What kind of invitation is this anyways?" --

The kind of invitation that will inevitably end up on DCUM with a few bitches who think it's awful and a lot more who have their interpersonal priorities in perspective and would show up and have a great time.

No way, man. No normal person is going to waste their time going over to someone else's house to cook their own meal. And if they do, they're probably not going to have a good time.

HUH? I've done this a bunch of times and it's a lot of fun. Imagine that, I survived cooking my own meal while socializing with friends.

This whole thread is ridiculous (except for the comic relief sarcastic posts); I am glad I have constructed a social life where an invitation like this would be met with enthusiasm rather than hostility.

Birds of a feather flock together. Cheap! Cheap! Cheap!

[Anonymous]

That sounds awful! Yuck. I wouldn't go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To answer the actual question posed in the thread title: "What kind of invitation is this anyways?" --

The kind of invitation that will inevitably end up on DCUM with a few bitches who think it's awful and a lot more who have their interpersonal priorities in perspective and would show up and have a great time.

No way, man. No normal person is going to waste their time going over to someone else's house to cook their own meal. And if they do, they're probably not going to have a good time.

HUH? I've done this a bunch of times and it's a lot of fun. Imagine that, I survived cooking my own meal while socializing with friends.

This whole thread is ridiculous (except for the comic relief sarcastic posts); I am glad I have constructed a social life where an invitation like this would be met with enthusiasm rather than hostility.

Birds of a feather flock together. Cheap! Cheap! Cheap!

Yep, and those who need to buy their flock can have it. I have no use for people who have a price.

[Anonymous]

It is not a "price"...It is good manners to provide the main meal and chairs if you are hosting a BBQ.

It is even more kind and polite to provide all the side dishes and drinks, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not a "price"...It is good manners to provide the main meal and chairs if you are hosting a BBQ.

It is even more kind and polite to provide all the side dishes and drinks, too.

It is good manners to refrain from smearing someone when their only "crime" was not living up to your arbitrary standards.

It is even more kind and polite to simply decline graciously if it's not your thing rather than getting all worked up about how "weird" it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not a "price"...It is good manners to provide the main meal and chairs if you are hosting a BBQ.

It is even more kind and polite to provide all the side dishes and drinks, too.

Yeah, it IS a price -- those things aren't free.