Would you leave your wife if....

[Anonymous]

Woman see sex as a way to get what they want. After they get what they want, their interest in sex stops.

[Anonymous]

But what I want is the sex!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if there is no illness and DW just is witholding sex and DH gave up?

We're not to that point, but I have friends who are. Usually it's the DW who has just unilaterally decided that sex isn't important anymore, and so can be discarded from their life. Of course, as unimportant as it is, it's still important enough that their partner must be denied getting it elsewhere. That's why I suspect it has a lot to do with control.

Agree! Women do this crap all the time. Though my ex DH did it as well.
There is a reason you have to keep a physical connection especially with women. We need the chemicals that release.
Withholding sex is cruel and can do horrible things to your self esteem. People who do this are not beneath using the kids in courtroom battles.

[Anonymous]

This is eerily similar to my situation- 8+ year roller coaster of chemo, radiation and surgeries. While she's still on chemo for maintenence, it's only a monthly thing. There is no sex and now years of resentment on both parts, yet through the battles we still know we have to focus on the kids. There's a line that's tough to find- husband/caregiver, & I'm sure wife&mom / patient.

I've been celibate 8 years. In that time I've gotten into the best shape since college, read 100s of books and have built a great business. I've become a damn good cook and can fold clothes like no other.. there's 3 years left on my sentence and once the last kid is gone, so am I

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a very involved dad. Access to my kids is the only reason I stay in my sexless marriage. I might as well be a monk.

I am a divorced single mom with a demanding career, two young children and no time for a relationship. We should hook up. No strings.

Do you really exist? And is it possiable to ever really have no strings based on this situation?

LOL I am a very unusual woman. And not in a good way. I've been told I am emotionally like a man.

I cannot STAND having some guy bothering me all the time. I am a busy person. I have a long commute, a demanding job, two very young kids, and I really don't have the time or energy for a relationship. I have to give my time and attention to others all day, every day.

Masturbating gets old. I need a sex friend. But, logistics would be tough. I can't have men in my house, married guy can't exactly take me home, and the hotel thing it too.... oogie.

[Anonymous]

Wow... didn't realize this was so common. My DW and I have been married for years and have two kids. I love my DW very much but we haven't had sex since my youngest was conceived. In a way I feel trapped. I love my kids and my DW more than life itself and while I want to have sex with my DW I don't want to force it upon her. I've never felt that she really enjoyed it all that much. In my single years I was with women who I could tell enjoyed it by the way they participated. I get the feeling that when we do have sex that she is "doing her duty" and not doing it because she wants to be with me. That of course has a problematic effect on my "performance" shall we say. It has been a very long time since we've had sex and every once in a while she'll realize it and tell me that she feels really bad about it. I also don't want her to feel she has to have sex because of guilt. I'd never consider leaving or cheating on her but obviously there is a frustration and a feeling that we are missing out on what otherwise is a perfect marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow... didn't realize this was so common. My DW and I have been married for years and have two kids. I love my DW very much but we haven't had sex since my youngest was conceived. In a way I feel trapped. I love my kids and my DW more than life itself and while I want to have sex with my DW I don't want to force it upon her. I've never felt that she really enjoyed it all that much. In my single years I was with women who I could tell enjoyed it by the way they participated. I get the feeling that when we do have sex that she is "doing her duty" and not doing it because she wants to be with me. That of course has a problematic effect on my "performance" shall we say. It has been a very long time since we've had sex and every once in a while she'll realize it and tell me that she feels really bad about it. I also don't want her to feel she has to have sex because of guilt. I'd never consider leaving or cheating on her but obviously there is a frustration and a feeling that we are missing out on what otherwise is a perfect marriage.

God, this is depressing.

Tonight, I'm gonna lick DH's dick like a Dove Bar. 8)

[Anonymous]

Thanks for making all of us with problems feel even worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow... didn't realize this was so common. My DW and I have been married for years and have two kids. I love my DW very much but we haven't had sex since my youngest was conceived. In a way I feel trapped. I love my kids and my DW more than life itself and while I want to have sex with my DW I don't want to force it upon her. I've never felt that she really enjoyed it all that much. In my single years I was with women who I could tell enjoyed it by the way they participated. I get the feeling that when we do have sex that she is "doing her duty" and not doing it because she wants to be with me. That of course has a problematic effect on my "performance" shall we say. It has been a very long time since we've had sex and every once in a while she'll realize it and tell me that she feels really bad about it. I also don't want her to feel she has to have sex because of guilt. I'd never consider leaving or cheating on her but obviously there is a frustration and a feeling that we are missing out on what otherwise is a perfect marriage.

God, this is depressing.

Tonight, I'm gonna lick DH's dick like a Dove Bar. 8)

He he he - your little post inspired me 09:25! Tonight DW will get some oral attention and double digit Os (just like she got last night)!!!

[Anonymous]

As someone deprived of sex for many years by DH, I write to say that it is not fair to live in a sexless marriage. Do yourself a favor and trouble-shoot whether your spouse denying the sex has (1) health issues -depression, low hormones, etc; (2) is having an affair (?) or (3) is too busy or resentful of you to have sex. I would recommend finding someone on the side to satisfy your needs if you feel compelled to stay in the marriage for other reasons -- go ahead, flame away -- assuming you can find something no strings attached.....

[Anonymous]

I'd love to find a married guy in a sexless marriage. The hottest sex I ever had was with a married guy. He was like a guy who was in prison with no sex for 15 years. So hot!!! I'd do it again anytime. If the wife won't take care of her man, I'll gladly do it!!! Women blame all the cheaters and mistresses, but they don't look in the mirror and see their part in the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to find a married guy in a sexless marriage. The hottest sex I ever had was with a married guy. He was like a guy who was in prison with no sex for 15 years. So hot!!! I'd do it again anytime. If the wife won't take care of her man, I'll gladly do it!!! Women blame all the cheaters and mistresses, but they don't look in the mirror and see their part in the problem.

You sound like a classy lady, PP. Gosh, no wonder you can't find a man of your own and have to make do with other women's sloppy seconds.

[Anonymous]

When will these men realize that the reason their DWs don't want to have sex with them is not that they don't like SEX...it's that they don't like SEX with them. You guys who aren't getting sex are guys who aren't GOOD at sex. Generally, women in their mid30s-and beyond are at their sexual peak. If you aren't getting any, take a good long look at what you're doing in bed. Not rocket science.
PS - Think of it this way: Have you ever heard a woman pass up a massage. Why would a woman pass up sex unless the sex was just bad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When will these men realize that the reason their DWs don't want to have sex with them is not that they don't like SEX...it's that they don't like SEX with them. You guys who aren't getting sex are guys who aren't GOOD at sex. Generally, women in their mid30s-and beyond are at their sexual peak. If you aren't getting any, take a good long look at what you're doing in bed. Not rocket science.
PS - Think of it this way: Have you ever heard a woman pass up a massage. Why would a woman pass up sex unless the sex was just bad?

I wish life was that simple. Each scenarios described in this thread could be result of multiple issues... Some similar and some completely different. I realize that the dcurbanmom.com forums are not scientific or 100% true and accurate but people sharing fragments have helped me understand what I might be going through.

If a NFL team drafts a Quarterback that they scouted and vetted in detail... That quarterback had no issues in and was very succesful in high school and college.... And then the team never let that Quarterback take snaps in practice or in a game for <bold>several</bold> years... And that quarterback is not allowed to practice or play for other teams because of their contract with the team that drafted him... How would you expect that Quarterback to perform when they finally get a chance to play in the big game? Is it really fair to say that Quarterback was a bad player?

I am in a very bad situation because I am married with 2 kids that I love very very much. My wife has issues. If I leave her.. She would get my kids. I was in a relationship with someone who was a result of a divorced parents and was raised by her mom. It wasn't a good situation. I love my kids too much to risk that outcome.

Could you be right in some similar situations? Yes... But in the NFL.. If a team does not like a quarterback's performance, they release the quarterback... Just ask Drew Brees... The San Diego Charger let him go, but he does not seem to be a Quarterback with no skills.

[Anonymous]

Please most women are bad in bed. I remember one woman telling me she had....wait for it...2 orgasms when she last had sex and thats why she is great in bed. These are other issues. If your sex drive is a 1 out 10 and you hit your peak. What you have a sex drive of 1.5?