SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:..... and this thread is just another example of how women bend over backwards to conform themselves to a typical man's lifestyle instead of trying to change the workplace to fit the realities of women's lives.... Until the latter happens things will not change for women.

Bravo!

But atlas, women will continue to be their own worst enemies, with working moms being the worst offenders. I'm not holding my breath for a paradigm shift.

I think you need an economic shift...not a paradigm shift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would the question in the interview be? "Explain the gap in your resume?" , "Tell me about the past ten years?" Or would the interviewer simply ask about her latest office related experience?

I can't see how she could phrase an answer without referring to her children with the first two questions.

No, there's no way around that.

But let's say Candidate A states she spent the last 10 years caring for her children. Candidate B states the same thing but adds that she earned a certification in Area X and/or did some side jobs related to her field.

Whom would you hire?

someone who knows the difference between who and whom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would the question in the interview be? "Explain the gap in your resume?" , "Tell me about the past ten years?" Or would the interviewer simply ask about her latest office related experience?

I can't see how she could phrase an answer without referring to her children with the first two questions.

I can give you an example. My sister was a SAHM. During that time, however, she volunteered at a nonprofit and then sat on the board of one of her kids' pre-schools. She stayed at home fully for three years. She recently want back to work, and if this question was posed to her, she could answer (assuming she didn't put all of her volunteer work on her resume, but she did, so she actually didn't have a gap.):
"I was raising my children, and during that time I volunteered at XYZ, spearheaded and managed their ABC program which included a fundraiser A and gala B. I produced all of their marketing materials for these events as well as coordinated and managed all of the other volunteer efforts. Under my marketing strategy, our fundraiser was covered in This publication and showcased on This television program. The gala was spotlighted on That television show and appeared in 10 publications. Under my direction, these efforts raised $xyz. As a board member, I spearheaded 4 fundraising efforts, including....."
You get the point.
No one cares about your children. They care about whether they want to hire you for a job.

The "I was raising my children" part is where you would lose me. We all raise our children. Are you implying that the interviewer wasn't because she was working?

Oh Jesus Christ. No. Phrase it however you want for crying out loud. The focus was the rest of the post. There was no social commentary in that statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would the question in the interview be? "Explain the gap in your resume?" , "Tell me about the past ten years?" Or would the interviewer simply ask about her latest office related experience?

I can't see how she could phrase an answer without referring to her children with the first two questions.

I can give you an example. My sister was a SAHM. During that time, however, she volunteered at a nonprofit and then sat on the board of one of her kids' pre-schools. She stayed at home fully for three years. She recently want back to work, and if this question was posed to her, she could answer (assuming she didn't put all of her volunteer work on her resume, but she did, so she actually didn't have a gap.):
"I was raising my children, and during that time I volunteered at XYZ, spearheaded and managed their ABC program which included a fundraiser A and gala B. I produced all of their marketing materials for these events as well as coordinated and managed all of the other volunteer efforts. Under my marketing strategy, our fundraiser was covered in This publication and showcased on This television program. The gala was spotlighted on That television show and appeared in 10 publications. Under my direction, these efforts raised $xyz. As a board member, I spearheaded 4 fundraising efforts, including....."
You get the point.
No one cares about your children. They care about whether they want to hire you for a job.

The "I was raising my children" part is where you would lose me. We all raise our children. Are you implying that the interviewer wasn't because she was working?

Your sre seething with insecurity. Sad on you.

Not the PP, but that's just reality. You don't say something like that in an interview unless you are a moron.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Please do not submit a resume with a 10+ year gap and then tell me in your cover letter that you were off rearing children."

Huh? I was a SAHM for eleven years and then went back to work, and obviously I explained that the gap was because I was home with my children--good grief, what else would explain a gap that large?! Do I want them to think I was vacationing for eleven years? In prison? In outer space? You get the picture. Obviously, then I went on to discuss how I was a good fit for the job (which they must have agreed with, since I was hired), but not to mention it in passing is just absurd. ("Although I have been home with my children for a number of years, I am now eager to return to the workforce, etc., etc.")

Why even mention it at all? Wasn't that covered in your application materials? If you brought it up, it would be fair game for me to ask you if you had childcare in place, understood that occasionally the job required hours outside the normal working day. Are you going to explain why after 11 years off, you are suddenly eager to return to paid work, for reasons other than $$?

Are you really hiring in this economy? So many people have gaps in their resume due to layoffs, etc. Conventional wisdom says to briefly address the gap and move on. As for why someone wants to return to the workforce, why isn't money enough? Lord knows, it's the reason I keep working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:" The gala was spotlighted on That television show and appeared in 10 publications. Under my direction, these efforts raised $xyz"

Gala shit?

Yes, that's what they called it. A Gala. What's the problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:..... and this thread is just another example of how women bend over backwards to conform themselves to a typical man's lifestyle instead of trying to change the workplace to fit the realities of women's lives.... Until the latter happens things will not change for women.

I don't agree. As a working mom, I think the workplace should be flexible enough to fit the realities of both men's and women's lives. But at the end of the day, it is still a business (I'm an attorney, so I'm in a client driven industry).

Also, as a working mom, I'm not trying to conform myself to a man's lifestyle at all. I just don't think that is what this thread is about.

But your post makes it seem like working moms should bend over backwards to hire SAHMs, simply b/c of some bond of motherhood, even if the SAHM is not the best candidate. I have no problem, and welcome, hiring a SAHM if she is the best candidate. But it is hard for a SAHM - in this economy - to be the best candidate if she has been out of the workforce for 10+ years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would the question in the interview be? "Explain the gap in your resume?" , "Tell me about the past ten years?" Or would the interviewer simply ask about her latest office related experience?

I can't see how she could phrase an answer without referring to her children with the first two questions.

I can give you an example. My sister was a SAHM. During that time, however, she volunteered at a nonprofit and then sat on the board of one of her kids' pre-schools. She stayed at home fully for three years. She recently want back to work, and if this question was posed to her, she could answer (assuming she didn't put all of her volunteer work on her resume, but she did, so she actually didn't have a gap.):
"I was raising my children, and during that time I volunteered at XYZ, spearheaded and managed their ABC program which included a fundraiser A and gala B. I produced all of their marketing materials for these events as well as coordinated and managed all of the other volunteer efforts. Under my marketing strategy, our fundraiser was covered in This publication and showcased on This television program. The gala was spotlighted on That television show and appeared in 10 publications. Under my direction, these efforts raised $xyz. As a board member, I spearheaded 4 fundraising efforts, including....."
You get the point.
No one cares about your children. They care about whether they want to hire you for a job.

The "I was raising my children" part is where you would lose me. We all raise our children. Are you implying that the interviewer wasn't because she was working?

Your sre seething with insecurity. Sad on you.

Not the PP, but that's just reality. You don't say something like that in an interview unless you are a moron.

I understand that, but the part I bolded belies the poster's baggage she carries with her to work.

I feel sorry for many women here, so conflicted and bitter about their choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would the question in the interview be? "Explain the gap in your resume?" , "Tell me about the past ten years?" Or would the interviewer simply ask about her latest office related experience?

I can't see how she could phrase an answer without referring to her children with the first two questions.

I can give you an example. My sister was a SAHM. During that time, however, she volunteered at a nonprofit and then sat on the board of one of her kids' pre-schools. She stayed at home fully for three years. She recently want back to work, and if this question was posed to her, she could answer (assuming she didn't put all of her volunteer work on her resume, but she did, so she actually didn't have a gap.):
"I was raising my children, and during that time I volunteered at XYZ, spearheaded and managed their ABC program which included a fundraiser A and gala B. I produced all of their marketing materials for these events as well as coordinated and managed all of the other volunteer efforts. Under my marketing strategy, our fundraiser was covered in This publication and showcased on This television program. The gala was spotlighted on That television show and appeared in 10 publications. Under my direction, these efforts raised $xyz. As a board member, I spearheaded 4 fundraising efforts, including....."
You get the point.
No one cares about your children. They care about whether they want to hire you for a job.

The "I was raising my children" part is where you would lose me. We all raise our children. Are you implying that the interviewer wasn't because she was working?

Oh Jesus Christ. No. Phrase it however you want for crying out loud. The focus was the rest of the post. There was no social commentary in that statement.

Since we are being all judgy and everything today, I don't judge SAHMs. I do, however, judge those SAHMs who spend an "excess" amount of time on volunteer activities. Phew, there I said it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:..... and this thread is just another example of how women bend over backwards to conform themselves to a typical man's lifestyle instead of trying to change the workplace to fit the realities of women's lives.... Until the latter happens things will not change for women.

I don't agree. As a working mom, I think the workplace should be flexible enough to fit the realities of both men's and women's lives. But at the end of the day, it is still a business (I'm an attorney, so I'm in a client driven industry).

Also, as a working mom, I'm not trying to conform myself to a man's lifestyle at all. I just don't think that is what this thread is about.

But your post makes it seem like working moms should bend over backwards to hire SAHMs, simply b/c of some bond of motherhood, even if the SAHM is not the best candidate. I have no problem, and welcome, hiring a SAHM if she is the best candidate. But it is hard for a SAHM - in this economy - to be the best candidate if she has been out of the workforce for 10+ years.

I don't read that at all in the post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would the question in the interview be? "Explain the gap in your resume?" , "Tell me about the past ten years?" Or would the interviewer simply ask about her latest office related experience?

I can't see how she could phrase an answer without referring to her children with the first two questions.

I can give you an example. My sister was a SAHM. During that time, however, she volunteered at a nonprofit and then sat on the board of one of her kids' pre-schools. She stayed at home fully for three years. She recently want back to work, and if this question was posed to her, she could answer (assuming she didn't put all of her volunteer work on her resume, but she did, so she actually didn't have a gap.):
"I was raising my children, and during that time I volunteered at XYZ, spearheaded and managed their ABC program which included a fundraiser A and gala B. I produced all of their marketing materials for these events as well as coordinated and managed all of the other volunteer efforts. Under my marketing strategy, our fundraiser was covered in This publication and showcased on This television program. The gala was spotlighted on That television show and appeared in 10 publications. Under my direction, these efforts raised $xyz. As a board member, I spearheaded 4 fundraising efforts, including....."
You get the point.
No one cares about your children. They care about whether they want to hire you for a job.

The "I was raising my children" part is where you would lose me. We all raise our children. Are you implying that the interviewer wasn't because she was working?

Oh Jesus Christ. No. Phrase it however you want for crying out loud. The focus was the rest of the post. There was no social commentary in that statement.

Since we are being all judgy and everything today, I don't judge SAHMs. I do, however, judge those SAHMs who spend an "excess" amount of time on volunteer activities. Phew, there I said it.

What do you define as "excess?"

[Anonymous]

So the consensus is to just respond to any question of absence in employment with what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:..... and this thread is just another example of how women bend over backwards to conform themselves to a typical man's lifestyle instead of trying to change the workplace to fit the realities of women's lives.... Until the latter happens things will not change for women.

I don't agree. As a working mom, I think the workplace should be flexible enough to fit the realities of both men's and women's lives. But at the end of the day, it is still a business (I'm an attorney, so I'm in a client driven industry).

Also, as a working mom, I'm not trying to conform myself to a man's lifestyle at all. I just don't think that is what this thread is about.

But your post makes it seem like working moms should bend over backwards to hire SAHMs, simply b/c of some bond of motherhood, even if the SAHM is not the best candidate. I have no problem, and welcome, hiring a SAHM if she is the best candidate. But it is hard for a SAHM - in this economy - to be the best candidate if she has been out of the workforce for 10+ years.

Given this economy, it's difficult to imagine a SAHM as the best candidate. Maybe the question should be, what sort concessions in the hiring process should we give those who step out of the work force to care for others (e.g., children, parents, other family members needing care).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would the question in the interview be? "Explain the gap in your resume?" , "Tell me about the past ten years?" Or would the interviewer simply ask about her latest office related experience?

I can't see how she could phrase an answer without referring to her children with the first two questions.

I can give you an example. My sister was a SAHM. During that time, however, she volunteered at a nonprofit and then sat on the board of one of her kids' pre-schools. She stayed at home fully for three years. She recently want back to work, and if this question was posed to her, she could answer (assuming she didn't put all of her volunteer work on her resume, but she did, so she actually didn't have a gap.):
"I was raising my children, and during that time I volunteered at XYZ, spearheaded and managed their ABC program which included a fundraiser A and gala B. I produced all of their marketing materials for these events as well as coordinated and managed all of the other volunteer efforts. Under my marketing strategy, our fundraiser was covered in This publication and showcased on This television program. The gala was spotlighted on That television show and appeared in 10 publications. Under my direction, these efforts raised $xyz. As a board member, I spearheaded 4 fundraising efforts, including....."
You get the point.
No one cares about your children. They care about whether they want to hire you for a job.

The "I was raising my children" part is where you would lose me. We all raise our children. Are you implying that the interviewer wasn't because she was working?

Agree.

And here is the basic issue (finally). Isn't this REALLY about the WOHM interviewer not wanting to feel like she didn't raise her kids? Look, work/life issues are tough choices, and maybe both SAH or WOH choices are imperfect. The only difference is that once the SAHM reenters the workforce, the WOHM has a mommy-powerplay moment. I think some of us on this thread are reacting to the nastiness of a WOHM/interviewer enjoying the opportunity to mock the SAHM reentering the workforce.

I stayed at home with my kids and re-entered the workforce after a number of years. I kept up my skills and even did some freelance jobs to keep up my resume. Nevertheless, interviewing with women was uncomfortable many times because of these issues. I hate to say it but men were much more non-plussed about the time away from a corporate job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would the question in the interview be? "Explain the gap in your resume?" , "Tell me about the past ten years?" Or would the interviewer simply ask about her latest office related experience?

I can't see how she could phrase an answer without referring to her children with the first two questions.

I can give you an example. My sister was a SAHM. During that time, however, she volunteered at a nonprofit and then sat on the board of one of her kids' pre-schools. She stayed at home fully for three years. She recently want back to work, and if this question was posed to her, she could answer (assuming she didn't put all of her volunteer work on her resume, but she did, so she actually didn't have a gap.):
"I was raising my children, and during that time I volunteered at XYZ, spearheaded and managed their ABC program which included a fundraiser A and gala B. I produced all of their marketing materials for these events as well as coordinated and managed all of the other volunteer efforts. Under my marketing strategy, our fundraiser was covered in This publication and showcased on This television program. The gala was spotlighted on That television show and appeared in 10 publications. Under my direction, these efforts raised $xyz. As a board member, I spearheaded 4 fundraising efforts, including....."
You get the point.
No one cares about your children. They care about whether they want to hire you for a job.

The "I was raising my children" part is where you would lose me. We all raise our children. Are you implying that the interviewer wasn't because she was working?

Oh Jesus Christ. No. Phrase it however you want for crying out loud. The focus was the rest of the post. There was no social commentary in that statement.

Since we are being all judgy and everything today, I don't judge SAHMs. I do, however, judge those SAHMs who spend an "excess" amount of time on volunteer activities. Phew, there I said it.

What do you define as "excess?"

Anything more than I personally think is necessary? ( just kidding). A level that requires time away from their children; a level that makes one (or me rather) wonder why they do not get a part time job.