SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do

[Anonymous]

This thread reminds me of the "why do you people put your children in daycare and let someone else raise your child?" You can't have it both ways!! You just can't. You don't get points or credit or accolades or anything from the professional world for staying home with your kids. No one owes you anything for those choices. That was your choice, and most SAHMs I know are very, very happy with those choices. But see, a thing happened, around 2008. It's called a recession. If you're out of the work force for 10+ years as many of you are saying you have been, things have changed. Drastically. You are seriously competing against 100+ candidates for many jobs. The competition is fierce. So it's not that anyone has any contempt for SAHMs or SAHDs, it's that your competition is so fierce now when it's convenient for you to return. I think the lesson here isn't not to stay at home. Absolutely not. But if you think you want to go back to work some day, you better keep your skills up, be involved in other things, and be ready to talk about them come interview time. You aren't just going to waltz in and say, "I'm ready now! Hire me." Everyone has to earn their jobs today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drive by man here. "CRAZY"!!!

Yup, only work for a man. They know crazy when they see crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would the question in the interview be? "Explain the gap in your resume?" , "Tell me about the past ten years?" Or would the interviewer simply ask about her latest office related experience?

I can't see how she could phrase an answer without referring to her children with the first two questions.

No, there's no way around that.

But let's say Candidate A states she spent the last 10 years caring for her children. Candidate B states the same thing but adds that she earned a certification in Area X and/or did some side jobs related to her field.

Whom would you hire?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am now beginning to think about returning to work after almost 10 years-I had no idea that there was so much contempt for me out there

A few lessons here:

1.Women are bat shit crazy. Try your hardest to find a job working for a man. This thread makes me think that maybe women are not emotionally stable enough to work outside the home.

2. Not ALL women are nuts (but most are). I'm a working mom and a hiring manager and I have no problem about a candidate mentioning their family. We don't live in 1959 any longer.

3. See #1

Women are not crazy. There actually aren't many people in this thread that I think have gone off the rails? Could you point to an example? The only assholes I see are the men who drove by and dropped sexist comments...like yours.

Do you have problems with literacy? Or are you really that obtuse?

Perfectly literate and intelligent, thanks for asking.

[Anonymous]

---From an earlier topic-----
No, see, you are missing the big picture. As long as the women are fighting with each other, us guys can continue to get away with murder. Can you imagine if they put us under the same sort of scrutiny they give themselves? Personally, I'm pretty happy that deciding to send our kids to daycare didn't result in an existential crisis about whether or not I was being a good dad. Don't fix it if it isn't broke, I say.

Jsteele: 1/11/2012
-------------------------------------------
From the man who posted the topic from above...How's this one working out Jeff?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am now beginning to think about returning to work after almost 10 years-I had no idea that there was so much contempt for me out there

No, I don't think there is contempt for SAHMs who want to get back into the workforce after a long period of time. I just think you will need to articulate pretty clearly what else (other than watching your children) you have been doing during the last 10 years. Many (most in fact) of the SAHMs I know have done amazing things (along with staying home with their kids). They have raised money for Children's Hospital and related charities. They become actively involved in their local community - Junior League, etc. I know some who write books and get them published.

Now, obviously, a SAHM with very young kids is probably not doing these things. But presumably the gap for such moms is much shorter. But a 10+ year gap? You really need to sell yourself and what you've recently been doing very carefully. If you rely on what you did prior to quitting your job to SAHM, you aren't going to be very impressive.

[Anonymous]

..... and this thread is just another example of how women bend over backwards to conform themselves to a typical man's lifestyle instead of trying to change the workplace to fit the realities of women's lives.... Until the latter happens things will not change for women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would the question in the interview be? "Explain the gap in your resume?" , "Tell me about the past ten years?" Or would the interviewer simply ask about her latest office related experience?

I can't see how she could phrase an answer without referring to her children with the first two questions.

I can give you an example. My sister was a SAHM. During that time, however, she volunteered at a nonprofit and then sat on the board of one of her kids' pre-schools. She stayed at home fully for three years. She recently want back to work, and if this question was posed to her, she could answer (assuming she didn't put all of her volunteer work on her resume, but she did, so she actually didn't have a gap.):
"I was raising my children, and during that time I volunteered at XYZ, spearheaded and managed their ABC program which included a fundraiser A and gala B. I produced all of their marketing materials for these events as well as coordinated and managed all of the other volunteer efforts. Under my marketing strategy, our fundraiser was covered in This publication and showcased on This television program. The gala was spotlighted on That television show and appeared in 10 publications. Under my direction, these efforts raised $xyz. As a board member, I spearheaded 4 fundraising efforts, including....."
You get the point.
No one cares about your children. They care about whether they want to hire you for a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I interviewed a lovely woman who explained a four year gap in her resume by saying that she took time off as the only child to care for her terminally ill mother. Had no problem hiring her (and she's doing great!). That's way different that a SAHP situation though.

Why is it different for purposes of hiring and employment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:..... and this thread is just another example of how women bend over backwards to conform themselves to a typical man's lifestyle instead of trying to change the workplace to fit the realities of women's lives.... Until the latter happens things will not change for women.

No, it's really not.

This thread was about not saying things that make you sound like a sanctimonious jerk and/or how to be effective in selling yourself after a 10 year gap when you're competing with thousands of people for a much smaller pool of jobs. ANY person, woman or no, who takes 10 years off of their career has some explaining to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would the question in the interview be? "Explain the gap in your resume?" , "Tell me about the past ten years?" Or would the interviewer simply ask about her latest office related experience?

I can't see how she could phrase an answer without referring to her children with the first two questions.

I can give you an example. My sister was a SAHM. During that time, however, she volunteered at a nonprofit and then sat on the board of one of her kids' pre-schools. She stayed at home fully for three years. She recently want back to work, and if this question was posed to her, she could answer (assuming she didn't put all of her volunteer work on her resume, but she did, so she actually didn't have a gap.):
"I was raising my children, and during that time I volunteered at XYZ, spearheaded and managed their ABC program which included a fundraiser A and gala B. I produced all of their marketing materials for these events as well as coordinated and managed all of the other volunteer efforts. Under my marketing strategy, our fundraiser was covered in This publication and showcased on This television program. The gala was spotlighted on That television show and appeared in 10 publications. Under my direction, these efforts raised $xyz. As a board member, I spearheaded 4 fundraising efforts, including....."
You get the point.
No one cares about your children. They care about whether they want to hire you for a job.

The "I was raising my children" part is where you would lose me. We all raise our children. Are you implying that the interviewer wasn't because she was working?

[Anonymous]

" The gala was spotlighted on That television show and appeared in 10 publications. Under my direction, these efforts raised $xyz"

Gala shit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would the question in the interview be? "Explain the gap in your resume?" , "Tell me about the past ten years?" Or would the interviewer simply ask about her latest office related experience?

I can't see how she could phrase an answer without referring to her children with the first two questions.

I can give you an example. My sister was a SAHM. During that time, however, she volunteered at a nonprofit and then sat on the board of one of her kids' pre-schools. She stayed at home fully for three years. She recently want back to work, and if this question was posed to her, she could answer (assuming she didn't put all of her volunteer work on her resume, but she did, so she actually didn't have a gap.):
"I was raising my children, and during that time I volunteered at XYZ, spearheaded and managed their ABC program which included a fundraiser A and gala B. I produced all of their marketing materials for these events as well as coordinated and managed all of the other volunteer efforts. Under my marketing strategy, our fundraiser was covered in This publication and showcased on This television program. The gala was spotlighted on That television show and appeared in 10 publications. Under my direction, these efforts raised $xyz. As a board member, I spearheaded 4 fundraising efforts, including....."
You get the point.
No one cares about your children. They care about whether they want to hire you for a job.

The "I was raising my children" part is where you would lose me. We all raise our children. Are you implying that the interviewer wasn't because she was working?

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:..... and this thread is just another example of how women bend over backwards to conform themselves to a typical man's lifestyle instead of trying to change the workplace to fit the realities of women's lives.... Until the latter happens things will not change for women.

Bravo!

But atlas, women will continue to be their own worst enemies, with working moms being the worst offenders. I'm not holding my breath for a paradigm shift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would the question in the interview be? "Explain the gap in your resume?" , "Tell me about the past ten years?" Or would the interviewer simply ask about her latest office related experience?

I can't see how she could phrase an answer without referring to her children with the first two questions.

I can give you an example. My sister was a SAHM. During that time, however, she volunteered at a nonprofit and then sat on the board of one of her kids' pre-schools. She stayed at home fully for three years. She recently want back to work, and if this question was posed to her, she could answer (assuming she didn't put all of her volunteer work on her resume, but she did, so she actually didn't have a gap.):
"I was raising my children, and during that time I volunteered at XYZ, spearheaded and managed their ABC program which included a fundraiser A and gala B. I produced all of their marketing materials for these events as well as coordinated and managed all of the other volunteer efforts. Under my marketing strategy, our fundraiser was covered in This publication and showcased on This television program. The gala was spotlighted on That television show and appeared in 10 publications. Under my direction, these efforts raised $xyz. As a board member, I spearheaded 4 fundraising efforts, including....."
You get the point.
No one cares about your children. They care about whether they want to hire you for a job.

The "I was raising my children" part is where you would lose me. We all raise our children. Are you implying that the interviewer wasn't because she was working?

Your sre seething with insecurity. Sad on you.