SAHM Reentering the Work Force - What not to do

[Anonymous]

Wow, and they say women aren't supportive of each others choices.

Here's a thought for the interviewers out there: perhaps you should have a bit of compassion knowing that the woman in front of you realizes that she's at risk of ridicule for her choice to stay home. Maybe she's nervous that her choice to SAH (which she probably agonized over at some point) will now be used against her. If it's so had to muster this compassion, perhaps you might think of the time(s) that a SAHM saved your ass by picking up your kid when you were working late, watched your kid on the playground, or in some other way pitched in for you. Wouldn't that be so much better than being an embittered hag waiting for your chance to mock this woman's choice?

[Anonymous]

"I'll tell you why this happens a lot. A woman who SAH for 10 years is justifiably proud of her commitment to her children, and she's spent all that time talking to family and friends, who give her positive feedback for that. Often, she hasn't made the mental switch that an interview is a hard core work event where she should be selling herself for what she can do for the employer, not be seeking back pats as is common in social chitchat."

Yup, she sleeps with the person who is giving her employee evaluations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and please do not say anything about your children other than you have childcare covered.

why?? double standard, right?

No. I don't want to hear from any interview candidates, male or female, previously SAH or not, anything about their children during an interview.

Well, that's just weird. I've heard interesting things from people in interviews about their kids, or really, about how parenting has taught them things etc. I wouldn't say the subject should be taboo, but it needs to be relevant. Then again, if the interviewer doesn't have kids they're not going to understand what you're saying or they might find you annoying. Do you have kids?

I do, I have two of them. An interview is literally a test of how you would be the perfect person for the job. I frankly don't have time to deal with the candidate's personal life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Who the f--k would say this stuff, really? Have you really had SAHMs interview for positions and spout this ridiculous stuff? Or is this just hypothetical (and another mean-spirited attack). "

Happens a lot.

I'll tell you why this happens a lot. A woman who SAH for 10 years is justifiably proud of her commitment to her children, and she's spent all that time talking to family and friends, who give her positive feedback for that. Often, she hasn't made the mental switch that an interview is a hard core work event where she should be selling herself for what she can do for the employer, not be seeking back pats as is common in social chitchat.

Agreed.

My advice, don't go in to the interview and try and justify yourself. You either know your shit, or you don't.

Don't try to relate as a mom to a working mom with a new infant, you can't. Don't try to relate as a mom at all -

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and please do not say anything about your children other than you have childcare covered.

why?? double standard, right?

No. I don't want to hear from any interview candidates, male or female, previously SAH or not, anything about their children during an interview.

Well, that's just weird. I've heard interesting things from people in interviews about their kids, or really, about how parenting has taught them things etc. I wouldn't say the subject should be taboo, but it needs to be relevant. Then again, if the interviewer doesn't have kids they're not going to understand what you're saying or they might find you annoying. Do you have kids?

I have kids and do not ask about or expect to hear about kids in an interview.

[Anonymous]

I concur with all of the above. I had a child but I do not talk about her at work. People don't care if she can write her name all by herself now, or if she moved up to the red table in preK, or what funny thing she said this morning when we were getting ready to go. *I* definitely care, but I keep it to myself or my DH, family, and friends who also care. Just my two cents. . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Wow, and they say women aren't supportive of each others choices.

Here's a thought for the interviewers out there: perhaps you should have a bit of compassion knowing that the woman in front of you realizes that she's at risk of ridicule for her choice to stay home. Maybe she's nervous that her choice to SAH (which she probably agonized over at some point) will now be used against her. If it's so had to muster this compassion, perhaps you might think of the time(s) that a SAHM saved your ass by picking up your kid when you were working late, watched your kid on the playground, or in some other way pitched in for you. Wouldn't that be so much better than being an embittered hag waiting for your chance to mock this woman's choice?

We are flooded with applications from J.D.s and MS.s for entry level/clerical positions. Supply and demand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Wow, and they say women aren't supportive of each others choices.

Here's a thought for the interviewers out there: perhaps you should have a bit of compassion knowing that the woman in front of you realizes that she's at risk of ridicule for her choice to stay home. Maybe she's nervous that her choice to SAH (which she probably agonized over at some point) will now be used against her. If it's so had to muster this compassion, perhaps you might think of the time(s) that a SAHM saved your ass by picking up your kid when you were working late, watched your kid on the playground, or in some other way pitched in for you. Wouldn't that be so much better than being an embittered hag waiting for your chance to mock this woman's choice?

Of course her SAH will be used against her. So she has to make every effort to seem as un-SAHM like as possible. I'm offering to pay people over $100,000 a year - please tell me why exactly I need to have compassion for any candidate for any choice to work or not in the past?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Wow, and they say women aren't supportive of each others choices.

Here's a thought for the interviewers out there: perhaps you should have a bit of compassion knowing that the woman in front of you realizes that she's at risk of ridicule for her choice to stay home. Maybe she's nervous that her choice to SAH (which she probably agonized over at some point) will now be used against her. If it's so had to muster this compassion, perhaps you might think of the time(s) that a SAHM saved your ass by picking up your kid when you were working late, watched your kid on the playground, or in some other way pitched in for you. Wouldn't that be so much better than being an embittered hag waiting for your chance to mock this woman's choice?

Huh? I need to hire the BEST person for the job. Black, white, yellow, purple, male, female, unicorn, whatever. I'm NOT going to hire someone just because they MAY have picked up someone's kid once while they were staying home. I'm CERTAINLY not going to hire someone because I feel sorry for them.

If she's the best person for the job and she kept up with her skills. Yes. She's my man. But because she may have watched my kid once on the playground - you think I'll give her a preference?

Or, I should give her preference because she has a vaginia?

[Anonymous]

I am the OP and I have kids (two) and stayed home for over a year with both before I went back to work. The issue that I see in a lot of resumes is not only was there no work experience but there is nothing else - no charity work, no volunteering. The thing that set me off about the resume that cause me to write the post is that the candidate went on to state how she would be great for the position due to her extensive experience - which was 15 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Man here. I agree with these posts but you women need to get your shit together. Collectively, you are a mess. Such hatred spewed against each other on DCUM. Damn I'm glad to be a man and don't have to deal with this trivial shit everyday.

Enjoy yourselves ladies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Who the f--k would say this stuff, really? Have you really had SAHMs interview for positions and spout this ridiculous stuff? Or is this just hypothetical (and another mean-spirited attack). "

Happens a lot.

I'll tell you why this happens a lot. A woman who SAH for 10 years is justifiably proud of her commitment to her children, and she's spent all that time talking to family and friends, who give her positive feedback for that. Often, she hasn't made the mental switch that an interview is a hard core work event where she should be selling herself for what she can do for the employer, not be seeking back pats as is common in social chitchat.

To me it demonstrates someone who lacks the social skills to realize that she may or may not be interviewing and working with someone who made drastically different choices with regard to their personal lives. It's a personality flaw, and I don't think it's a product of staying at home for too long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Wow, and they say women aren't supportive of each others choices.

Here's a thought for the interviewers out there: perhaps you should have a bit of compassion knowing that the woman in front of you realizes that she's at risk of ridicule for her choice to stay home. Maybe she's nervous that her choice to SAH (which she probably agonized over at some point) will now be used against her. If it's so had to muster this compassion, perhaps you might think of the time(s) that a SAHM saved your ass by picking up your kid when you were working late, watched your kid on the playground, or in some other way pitched in for you. Wouldn't that be so much better than being an embittered hag waiting for your chance to mock this woman's choice?

Huh? I need to hire the BEST person for the job. Black, white, yellow, purple, male, female, unicorn, whatever. I'm NOT going to hire someone just because they MAY have picked up someone's kid once while they were staying home. I'm CERTAINLY not going to hire someone because I feel sorry for them.

If she's the best person for the job and she kept up with her skills. Yes. She's my man. But because she may have watched my kid once on the playground - you think I'll give her a preference?

Or, I should give her preference because she has a vaginia?

What's a vaginia?

[Anonymous]

Oh - and I give 30 minutes for an interview. If you want to waste that time with what Aiden said yesterday....then by all means. Go for it.

I have a person who is coming in after you with a JD who HAS spent the past 10 years working will spend 30 minutes telling me exactly how she is perfect for the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. I agree with these posts but you women need to get your shit together. Collectively, you are a mess. Such hatred spewed against each other on DCUM. Damn I'm glad to be a man and don't have to deal with this trivial shit everyday.

Enjoy yourselves ladies.

exactly!