Loud, Useless, Cheeping Birds Outside My Window; how to get rid them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make like a Disney princess and talk to them. Kindly. Not with your curse words.

Snow White fled from a jealous stepmother into the woods--was so traumatized by this that she gladly became the indentured servant of 7 filthy but lovable dwarves, and was later sleep raped by the son of a rich overlord.

Of course she sang to birds. But agreed, the cursing is beneath me. I'm just so very tired and incoherent.

[Anonymous]

http://icwdm.org/handbook/birds/BirdDispersal/BirdDispersal.aspx

[Anonymous]

City birds (chickadees, grackles, pigeons) are useless. They serve no purpose other than to foul the urban landscape. I am a lover of dogs. Particularly bird dogs such as spaniels and pointers and retreivers. I am very mean to sanctimonious, humorless peole, yes-yes I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're back. And no, I won't close my windows. I'm a cold weather person who can't sleep without a window open in winter. F*ck these birds and everything about them. They are a plague on the earth. They are a scourge of flapping feathers and filth, spreading feces and disease in their wake; disturbers of quiet and peace--the only good bird is a dead bird.

A late, post-mortem, recently deceased, passed on, kicked-the-bucket, laid-to-rest, gone-by-the-wayside, crossed-the-rainbow-bridge, six-feet-under parrot.

I could have written this word for word!

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking back over this thread, I see that skipped 2016 and 2017 because of my total demoralization at the hands (or tiny claws) of these hell-bent creatures.

They mock me with their cold, bloodless, non-mammalian bodies; staring into eternity with their dead, souless eyes and riffling their irridescent inky plumage. They have evolved this far with scrawny pates and toothpick legs to hop through milennia and strike at mankind year in and year out; they advance on the sanity of good women such as myself, deep in an over-priced urban hovel, armed only as I am, with handfuls of construction gravel, concrete rocks, and a coiled garden hose--I am left sleepless and riven, doomed to a rainy season of dreary toil with nary a full night's sleep.

Shouldn't this go in the political forum?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking back over this thread, I see that skipped 2016 and 2017 because of my total demoralization at the hands (or tiny claws) of these hell-bent creatures.

They mock me with their cold, bloodless, non-mammalian bodies; staring into eternity with their dead, souless eyes and riffling their irridescent inky plumage. They have evolved this far with scrawny pates and toothpick legs to hop through milennia and strike at mankind year in and year out; they advance on the sanity of good women such as myself, deep in an over-priced urban hovel, armed only as I am, with handfuls of construction gravel, concrete rocks, and a coiled garden hose--I am left sleepless and riven, doomed to a rainy season of dreary toil with nary a full night's sleep.

Shouldn't this go in the political forum?

LOL

[Anonymous]

Nay, off-topic is last refuge of the annoyed, outraged insomniac. Leave us be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They chirp and tweet at irregular intervals, keeping me awake from the wee hours of the morning. They are really, really loud. And I can't wear ear plugs, they irritate my ear canal . This isn't twitter, it's real life...I am sleep deprived.

I bet that you are more "useless" than these birds. Birds, at least, serve a purpose and are beautiful. You, I suspect, serve no useful purpose and are singularly unattractive

[Anonymous]

This thread makes me laugh.

The stick in the muds who don't realize this is a resurrected thread from 2015 do not make me laugh. Except mirthlessly as I mock them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me laugh.

The stick in the muds who don't realize this is a resurrected thread from 2015 do not make me laugh. Except mirthlessly as I mock them.

dear god the bleating of indignation

[Anonymous]

will no one think of the pidgeons

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me laugh.

The stick in the muds who don't realize this is a resurrected thread from 2015 do not make me laugh. Except mirthlessly as I mock them.

It's actually resurrected from 2011.