First sleep over for my daughter, and the mom was drinking wine.

[Anonymous]

People! One glass of wine is causing such an uproar? Am I the only one who finds many of these posts extremist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you need to look at yourself and question how well you know the family that is watching your 6 year old overnight. 6 years may be old enough for a sleep over but not at a family you don't know well enough to cause this much concern.

If my best friend were watching my daughter for the night, or my SIL, and they offered me a glass of wine, I wouldn't give it another thought because I trust them very much and would know without a doubt they were going to have a few sips of wine and stop at that. If it were a mom I didn't know that well I wouldn't be as confident.

I can say I wouldn't leave my 6 year old overnight with a family that prompted me to post on DCUM and ask if other moms thought it was okay. Big red flag there.

Why is all the blame being shifted to OP? And the drinking hosts get a total pass? This was a bday sleepover for a classmate and some other kids from school that OP 's DD is friends with. OP had the choice of her DD spending a night in a situation she wasn't totally thrilled with or missing out or making a scene and leaving. I too would have been surprised to find the parents knocking a few back while supervising a group of young kids they didn't know well. What if one of them needed to go home during the night? What if one of the hosts drove them after a few drinks? (OP noted that her DD would probably be fine sleeping elsewhere, but I doubt she was the only one who was on her first sleepover.) I don't think I would ever be all that comfortable saying "how many glasses of wine do you intend to have tonight and are we talking balloons?" to anyone. When do we expect other parents to act like responsible adults? How many of the "oh I would never let my child go to a house where XYZ" posters have school aged kids who go to schools where playdates sleepovers are common?

Umm...where was I giving the host mom a pass? My point was I probably wouldn't have let my kid sleep over. I'm just sick of the posts that start 100 comments where the mom should have grown a pair and said, you know, I'm not comfortable with this; or at least in the future rethink sleep over invites for a young child - when she is older it may be more appropriate to leave her with parents of classmates but 6 seems young for an overnight unless it's family or pretty close friends.

I really have no opinion on the host mom because I don't feel enough details were posted. Was she definitely drinking or hosting an "open house" type environment for drop off? Was her husband there and not drinking?

My point is, why was OP in this situation and why would she put her kid in it? And if you say "because it's just a sleep over, relax" then we need to think about why people are bringing up CPR, sexual abuse, ER, and dry drowning.

[Anonymous]

Sorry - meant silent drowning. But I have no doubt that dry drowning will be brought up soon as one of the dangers all of these girls were exposed to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People! One glass of wine is causing such an uproar? Am I the only one who finds many of these posts extremist?

No. No you are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People! One glass of wine is causing such an uproar? Am I the only one who finds many of these posts extremist?

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this the norm here?

Based on the responses you have gotten, looks like YEP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry - meant silent drowning. But I have no doubt that dry drowning will be brought up soon as one of the dangers all of these girls were exposed to.

There's no such a thing as "silent drowning". You clearly didn't read the topic we're talking about here.

The topic talked about how silent drowning is. There's no screaming, gasping for air, waving hands in the air. The child disappears under the water while all the other kids are playing around and splashing and very good swimmers all responsible adults are drinking just one beer or just one glass of wine by the pool side.

I worked with children safety in the water, coached swimming teams and I get the most weird looks when I attend pool parties and sit there just staring at the pool and turn down offers to let the kids play and walk away, drink and engage in extensive conversation while there are children in the pool. People have called me names and talked behind my back because they don't understand my concern.

That's exactly when such accidents happen. When there is a lot of adults around and nobody is really in charge, when adults think "kids will watch themselves". I don't want to be one of the adults in that party having to live with the guilt when something happens.

I've told this story here before and I will tell it once again: when I was an AP there was often a margarita stand in our cul-de-sac when the parents were waiting for the school bus drop off on Fridays. I always declined to participate (first thing I was working, second thing I've mentioned before, when there are children involved I never drink anyway). One day, as the bus was coming up the hill towards the end of the street one of the little kids crossed the street on her trike. The bus driver didn't see the kid and seems like none of the parents either. I was with the dog on a leash and holding my older charge by the hand. In a blink of an eye I had to push my charge to the ground on the side of the road in the grass, grab the leash tight and run in front of the bus to tackle the kid on the trike. The bus driver came out of the bus in shock, everybody was really upset with the whole situation. The mother of the child was in shock. She grabbed the kids' hands and marched inside w/o a word.

I don't doubt anybody would have done it to save the little one. I wonder which buzzed parent would succesfully be able to do that...

[Anonymous]

Wow! I have never seen this many comments. Well let me add one more then. OP, I don't want to judge and obviously you had a bad/uncomfortable feeling about seeing the moms having some wine when you dropped your child. My question is that why didn't you stay for some conversation wtih the moms? maybe take that as an opportunity to get to know the other moms and see how much or how fast they are drinking. For a first sleep over, I would make sure to carve out some free time to hang out with the adults to get to know them specially since the hostess invited the moms in for a little wine. And once you were talking and observing with other moms/hostess and were still uncomfortable about the drinking, I would stay throughout the party with the hostess or take my child early and go home. And that's it. end of hte story. by hanging out with them you'll know the next time they invite your child to their party. I hope that all went well with the party and that your child had a good time inspite of all these comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People! One glass of wine is causing such an uproar? Am I the only one who finds many of these posts extremist?

How do you know it was one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People! One glass of wine is causing such an uproar? Am I the only one who finds many of these posts extremist?

How do you know it was one?

This is the entire point. People in an uproar simply cannot fathom that some of us can have one glass of wine. They think one glass of wine in the evening MUST lead to inebriation and is the same as knocking back Jack Daniels in the middle of the day. I guess that's the crowd they hang with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People! One glass of wine is causing such an uproar? Am I the only one who finds many of these posts extremist?

How do you know it was one?

This is the entire point. People in an uproar simply cannot fathom that some of us can have one glass of wine. They think one glass of wine in the evening MUST lead to inebriation and is the same as knocking back Jack Daniels in the middle of the day. I guess that's the crowd they hang with.

Um, no. It's certainly easy to fathom that people can have only one glass of wine. The point is, you don't know that. I don't know that. The OP doesn't know that. And even if it IS "only one" glass of wine... is it really necessary to drink at all when you are supervising a bunch of little girls at a sleepover? It just seems misguided.

But then, maybe people who are rolling their eyes at the OP "can't fathom" an evening without alcohol?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry - meant silent drowning. But I have no doubt that dry drowning will be brought up soon as one of the dangers all of these girls were exposed to.

There's no such a thing as "silent drowning". You clearly didn't read the topic we're talking about here.

The topic talked about how silent drowning is. There's no screaming, gasping for air, waving hands in the air. The child disappears under the water while all the other kids are playing around and splashing and very good swimmers all responsible adults are drinking just one beer or just one glass of wine by the pool side.

I worked with children safety in the water, coached swimming teams and I get the most weird looks when I attend pool parties and sit there just staring at the pool and turn down offers to let the kids play and walk away, drink and engage in extensive conversation while there are children in the pool. People have called me names and talked behind my back because they don't understand my concern.

That's exactly when such accidents happen. When there is a lot of adults around and nobody is really in charge, when adults think "kids will watch themselves". I don't want to be one of the adults in that party having to live with the guilt when something happens.

I've told this story here before and I will tell it once again: when I was an AP there was often a margarita stand in our cul-de-sac when the parents were waiting for the school bus drop off on Fridays. I always declined to participate (first thing I was working, second thing I've mentioned before, when there are children involved I never drink anyway). One day, as the bus was coming up the hill towards the end of the street one of the little kids crossed the street on her trike. The bus driver didn't see the kid and seems like none of the parents either. I was with the dog on a leash and holding my older charge by the hand. In a blink of an eye I had to push my charge to the ground on the side of the road in the grass, grab the leash tight and run in front of the bus to tackle the kid on the trike. The bus driver came out of the bus in shock, everybody was really upset with the whole situation. The mother of the child was in shock. She grabbed the kids' hands and marched inside w/o a word.

I don't doubt anybody would have done it to save the little one. I wonder which buzzed parent would succesfully be able to do that...

your rambling has nothing to do with the my point that silent drowning was being discussed. it was. go read the thread - that term was used which was my only point. have no idea what yours was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry - meant silent drowning. But I have no doubt that dry drowning will be brought up soon as one of the dangers all of these girls were exposed to.

There's no such a thing as "silent drowning". You clearly didn't read the topic we're talking about here.

The topic talked about how silent drowning is. There's no screaming, gasping for air, waving hands in the air. The child disappears under the water while all the other kids are playing around and splashing and very good swimmers all responsible adults are drinking just one beer or just one glass of wine by the pool side.

I worked with children safety in the water, coached swimming teams and I get the most weird looks when I attend pool parties and sit there just staring at the pool and turn down offers to let the kids play and walk away, drink and engage in extensive conversation while there are children in the pool. People have called me names and talked behind my back because they don't understand my concern.

That's exactly when such accidents happen. When there is a lot of adults around and nobody is really in charge, when adults think "kids will watch themselves". I don't want to be one of the adults in that party having to live with the guilt when something happens.

I've told this story here before and I will tell it once again: when I was an AP there was often a margarita stand in our cul-de-sac when the parents were waiting for the school bus drop off on Fridays. I always declined to participate (first thing I was working, second thing I've mentioned before, when there are children involved I never drink anyway). One day, as the bus was coming up the hill towards the end of the street one of the little kids crossed the street on her trike. The bus driver didn't see the kid and seems like none of the parents either. I was with the dog on a leash and holding my older charge by the hand. In a blink of an eye I had to push my charge to the ground on the side of the road in the grass, grab the leash tight and run in front of the bus to tackle the kid on the trike. The bus driver came out of the bus in shock, everybody was really upset with the whole situation. The mother of the child was in shock. She grabbed the kids' hands and marched inside w/o a word.

I don't doubt anybody would have done it to save the little one. I wonder which buzzed parent would succesfully be able to do that...

your rambling has nothing to do with the my point that silent drowning was being discussed. it was. go read the thread - that term was used which was my only point. have no idea what yours was.

You're grasping at the wrong straw here. I was the poster who mentioned DRAWNING. There's no such a thing as "silent drowning". My post was re how silent drowning can be. It's very pertinent to the discussion since women around here think that it's OK to drink when you have 10 6yo children spending the night in your house since nothing will happen.

[Anonymous]

So for all the people who think the six year olds are going to take a trip to the ER, how old are your own kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So for all the people who think the six year olds are going to take a trip to the ER, how old are your own kids?

My kids are 8 and 5.

I've been to the ER 3 times with each one. 1/2 of the times when they were around 6yo.