First sleep over for my daughter, and the mom was drinking wine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents need to rethink sleep overs and drinking. A girl in our neighborhood was given alcohol at a friend's sleep over by the older brother. He ended up sexually abusing the girl after the parents went to bed. Very disturbing.

This is a whole topic all together ( a terrible one at that). How did we jump from teen drinking and sexual molestation all from a mom having a glass of wine. Who said that parent had a drop of alcohol? Dear Lord people get control over yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, I'll bet she also offered the girls grilled cheese sandwiches. The nerve of some people!

The horror!

[Anonymous]

12:05 and 12:09 here. I drink, average 2 glasses of wine a week. But I see more and more excuses for wine. Can't people understand that it is actually commom courtesy and manners not to drink when you are taking care of someone elses kid? I guess its OK then for a nanny to have "a" glass of wine mid-afternoon? What would be the opinion if the mom had been kicking back "a" shot of Jack Daniels or Southern Comfort?

[Anonymous]

I guess I don't belong here because I don't have time to read 80 some posts to apparently realise that the girl scout thing was a joke--which I don't believe anyhow. Oh well, back to work!! Bye!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
12:05 and 12:09 here. I drink, average 2 glasses of wine a week. But I see more and more excuses for wine. Can't people understand that it is actually commom courtesy and manners not to drink when you are taking care of someone elses kid? I guess its OK then for a nanny to have "a" glass of wine mid-afternoon? What would be the opinion if the mom had been kicking back "a" shot of Jack Daniels or Southern Comfort?

What if it was the 27 yr old au pair? An adult, and European to boot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I guess I don't belong here because I don't have time to read 80 some posts to apparently realise that the girl scout thing was a joke--which I don't believe anyhow. Oh well, back to work!! Bye!

I don't think it was a joke either.

[Anonymous]

Americans make me laugh.

[Anonymous]

I think people are reluctant to act like responsible adults and defer their own gratification for one Sat night.

To flip it around, if you were invited in for a few minutes before a bday sleep over to get to know the family a bit more, how many parents would be up in arms if they were offered sparkling water and lemonade to drink? How many really want to down a ballon glass of wine before they get in their cars to drive home? Would they trash those parents on the playground and call them uncool? I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

quote=Anonymous]
12:05 and 12:09 here. I drink, average 2 glasses of wine a week. But I see more and more excuses for wine. Can't people understand that it is actually commom courtesy and manners not to drink when you are taking care of someone elses kid? I guess its OK then for a nanny to have "a" glass of wine mid-afternoon? What would be the opinion if the mom had been kicking back "a" shot of Jack Daniels or Southern Comfort?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounded like a sleepover bday party and yes, some 6 year olds do have them.

I would personally prefer that adults in charge of my child for an evening abstain from drinking. I really am surprised that that is so unthinkable for most people. The need to drink or discomfort in socializing without it must be really strong for a lot of people.

If moms were just staying for a few minutes at drop off I would be even more concerned about serving them alcohol right before they walk out the door. If they were all going to stay and kill a few bottles that isn't cool with a house full of other people's kids. Esp kids as young as 6. OP had no way to know which scenario was in play and otherwise had only the choice of taking her kid home.

Not OP but I've refered to my kid as "chill" as have others. I'm 40.

For kids that aren't used to being around adults who are drinking a lot it can be scary to see them acting differently. For a lot of 6 year olds this was probably their first time sleeping over. Was the hostess really going to be as attentive in her supervision after a few drinks? By definition wouldn't the answer be no? Why is it ok and even cool that she can't not drink for an evening? If she was making pitchers of margaretas or gin and tonics would that get a different response? Why does wine always get such a pass on DCUM?

Completely agree with all of the above.

I am dumbfounded that so many posters can't fathom why a parent would take issue with another parent drinking while supervising a bunch of kids. As quoted posted said - WHY DO wine drinkers always seem to get a pass?

[Anonymous]

How would you feel if your child was the one in need of CPR and all the adults in the house were buzzed?

Anyone here recalls the post about how silent drowning is?

[Anonymous]

It is the other mother's home, so if she wants to have a glass of wine that is her right. If you are uncomfortable leaving your child there it is your right to take her home. Since OP obviously left her child for the sleep over, she clearly didn't think her child was in danger.

If I invite your child to my home, I will provide them the same level of care as I do for my own child. Some people may be less vigilant than I am and some more. But I will not feel obligated to meet your standards of care in my home.

[Anonymous]

I've been part of a few parent babysitting co-ops, including one now for elementary aged kids. All have required that at least 1 adult in the house not consume alcohol. It seems like common sense to me. The first time I was surprised that this needed to be spelled out, guess I'm not any more.

I have a glass or 2 of wine some weeks but we don't drink nightly. Guess a lot of people in the area do and they aren't going to stop just because your kid is there.

I didn't get the sense that the OP was fine with the mom drinking or she wouldn't have posted. She gambled that her kid would be ok and probably wouldn't need anything and didn't want to make a scene for her kid or in front of the moms. Still not a great position to be put in. Friends have told me that they took their kids to a sleep over to discover a babysitter there. Many people see having other kids over as kind of a child care assist, not just a fun and enriching activity. The kids are more or less ignored and left to supervise each other while the parents are out or catching a buzz.

[Anonymous]

OP I think you need to look at yourself and question how well you know the family that is watching your 6 year old overnight. 6 years may be old enough for a sleep over but not at a family you don't know well enough to cause this much concern.

If my best friend were watching my daughter for the night, or my SIL, and they offered me a glass of wine, I wouldn't give it another thought because I trust them very much and would know without a doubt they were going to have a few sips of wine and stop at that. If it were a mom I didn't know that well I wouldn't be as confident.

I can say I wouldn't leave my 6 year old overnight with a family that prompted me to post on DCUM and ask if other moms thought it was okay. Big red flag there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you need to look at yourself and question how well you know the family that is watching your 6 year old overnight. 6 years may be old enough for a sleep over but not at a family you don't know well enough to cause this much concern.

If my best friend were watching my daughter for the night, or my SIL, and they offered me a glass of wine, I wouldn't give it another thought because I trust them very much and would know without a doubt they were going to have a few sips of wine and stop at that. If it were a mom I didn't know that well I wouldn't be as confident.

I can say I wouldn't leave my 6 year old overnight with a family that prompted me to post on DCUM and ask if other moms thought it was okay. Big red flag there.

Why is all the blame being shifted to OP? And the drinking hosts get a total pass? This was a bday sleepover for a classmate and some other kids from school that OP 's DD is friends with. OP had the choice of her DD spending a night in a situation she wasn't totally thrilled with or missing out or making a scene and leaving. I too would have been surprised to find the parents knocking a few back while supervising a group of young kids they didn't know well. What if one of them needed to go home during the night? What if one of the hosts drove them after a few drinks? (OP noted that her DD would probably be fine sleeping elsewhere, but I doubt she was the only one who was on her first sleepover.) I don't think I would ever be all that comfortable saying "how many glasses of wine do you intend to have tonight and are we talking balloons?" to anyone. When do we expect other parents to act like responsible adults? How many of the "oh I would never let my child go to a house where XYZ" posters have school aged kids who go to schools where playdates sleepovers are common?