15yo smacked 5yo - SIL lost it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old was just at my niece's birthday party with a bunch of 3 year olds and handled himself more maturely. Did some 3 year olds bother him and cross his boundaries? Absolutely. He said no and then asked for a break.

Did none of the people talking about kids touching stuff not have younger siblings? I'm about 8 years older than my youngest sibling and yes, she got into stuff and no, I wasn't allowed to smack her.

If you read the OP‘s update, you’d see that the teenager tried by moving her things and going to a different room. The five year followed. The parent of the five-year-old should have intervened and redirected her child to something else instead of assuming a teenager is going to babysit for free.

The teen also could have talked to OP or her own parent. Like my 7 year old talked to me.

Again, not hard to avoid hitting a kid.

The 15 year old is ALSO a kid, dummy.

My kid's babysitter is 15. You guys infantilizing teenagers are doing them no favors.

Children can be babysitters. Treating children like children isn’t infantilizing. This is a weird response considering how helicoptery parents are on here towards their adult kids.

2 year olds in daycare get told "no, we don't hit". Acting like a 15 year old is somehow less savvy (and gets presents for hitting kids) is treating a kid appropriately?

A 15 year old should know not to hit. But, expecting them to act like an adult and calling them crap is unacceptable.

Where does it say they expected the 15 year old to act like an adult. SIL yelled at the boyfriend who demonstrated SIL was right by buying his child gifts. He literally rewarded his daughter smacking a preschooler. He's a shit parent, SIL is right.

People on this thread did. Teens make mistakes.

Stubbing your toe is a mistake. Deliberately hitting a preschooler is a very bad choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old was just at my niece's birthday party with a bunch of 3 year olds and handled himself more maturely. Did some 3 year olds bother him and cross his boundaries? Absolutely. He said no and then asked for a break.

Did none of the people talking about kids touching stuff not have younger siblings? I'm about 8 years older than my youngest sibling and yes, she got into stuff and no, I wasn't allowed to smack her.

If you read the OP‘s update, you’d see that the teenager tried by moving her things and going to a different room. The five year followed. The parent of the five-year-old should have intervened and redirected her child to something else instead of assuming a teenager is going to babysit for free.

The teen also could have talked to OP or her own parent. Like my 7 year old talked to me.

Again, not hard to avoid hitting a kid.

The 15 year old is ALSO a kid, dummy.

My kid's babysitter is 15. You guys infantilizing teenagers are doing them no favors.

Children can be babysitters. Treating children like children isn’t infantilizing. This is a weird response considering how helicoptery parents are on here towards their adult kids.

2 year olds in daycare get told "no, we don't hit". Acting like a 15 year old is somehow less savvy (and gets presents for hitting kids) is treating a kid appropriately?

A 15 year old should know not to hit. But, expecting them to act like an adult and calling them crap is unacceptable.

Where does it say they expected the 15 year old to act like an adult. SIL yelled at the boyfriend who demonstrated SIL was right by buying his child gifts. He literally rewarded his daughter smacking a preschooler. He's a shit parent, SIL is right.

People on this thread did. Teens make mistakes.

Stubbing your toe is a mistake. Deliberately hitting a preschooler is a very bad choice.

My brother in law is a teacher and he had a parent go "he just made a mistake" when her son literally set another kid's hair on fire.

[Anonymous]

The 15-year old and her father are not too bright. He will be supporting her for a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old was just at my niece's birthday party with a bunch of 3 year olds and handled himself more maturely. Did some 3 year olds bother him and cross his boundaries? Absolutely. He said no and then asked for a break.

Did none of the people talking about kids touching stuff not have younger siblings? I'm about 8 years older than my youngest sibling and yes, she got into stuff and no, I wasn't allowed to smack her.

Come back when your 7 year old has the hormones of a teenager and is being incessantly pestered by kids who aren’t even close to being his playmates.

Some of y’all are about as smart as a box of hair.

I'm sorry are you seriously arguing a 15 year old should be expected to have less impulse control that a 7 year old. That's just sad.

Spoken like the know-it-all mom of a 7 year. The teenage years are going to knock you on your @$$, and you totally deserve it

Also, your kid is DEFINITELY going to hate you when he’s a teen…

You know a lot of us were teen girls who babysat children. My kid's baby sitter is a 16 year old girl.

You sound like you're raising an absolute monster of you are going around excusing teenagers hitting children with "hormones".

No, that's not remotely normal behavior.

My kids are lovely. But they’re not going to babysit your brats for free because you’re too incompetent to parent your kids.

You also don’t understand the difference between excusing and explaining, so again, your kid is going to absolutely hate you (and rightly so) when he’s a teen. Good luck with that.

You think a teen is going to hate their parents if they don't buy them watches for smacking preschoolers?

Are you a troll? This has to be a troll.

You can’t read. Regroup and try again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old was just at my niece's birthday party with a bunch of 3 year olds and handled himself more maturely. Did some 3 year olds bother him and cross his boundaries? Absolutely. He said no and then asked for a break.

Did none of the people talking about kids touching stuff not have younger siblings? I'm about 8 years older than my youngest sibling and yes, she got into stuff and no, I wasn't allowed to smack her.

If you read the OP‘s update, you’d see that the teenager tried by moving her things and going to a different room. The five year followed. The parent of the five-year-old should have intervened and redirected her child to something else instead of assuming a teenager is going to babysit for free.

The teen also could have talked to OP or her own parent. Like my 7 year old talked to me.

Again, not hard to avoid hitting a kid.

The 15 year old is ALSO a kid, dummy.

Right which is why none of us are suggesting that the 4 year old’s parents press charges or knock he’s lights out, which is how we respond if an unrelated adult assaulted our child.

Really, you think pressing charging or attacking a child should be an Option?

If she worked as a counselor or in a daycare - heck yeah, I’d call the cops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old was just at my niece's birthday party with a bunch of 3 year olds and handled himself more maturely. Did some 3 year olds bother him and cross his boundaries? Absolutely. He said no and then asked for a break.

Did none of the people talking about kids touching stuff not have younger siblings? I'm about 8 years older than my youngest sibling and yes, she got into stuff and no, I wasn't allowed to smack her.

If you read the OP‘s update, you’d see that the teenager tried by moving her things and going to a different room. The five year followed. The parent of the five-year-old should have intervened and redirected her child to something else instead of assuming a teenager is going to babysit for free.

The teen also could have talked to OP or her own parent. Like my 7 year old talked to me.

Again, not hard to avoid hitting a kid.

The 15 year old is ALSO a kid, dummy.

Right which is why none of us are suggesting that the 4 year old’s parents press charges or knock he’s lights out, which is how we respond if an unrelated adult assaulted our child.

Really, you think pressing charging or attacking a child should be an Option?

If she worked as a counselor or in a daycare - heck yeah, I’d call the cops.

Why you are thinking of a 15yo girl as a default babysitter in all situations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old was just at my niece's birthday party with a bunch of 3 year olds and handled himself more maturely. Did some 3 year olds bother him and cross his boundaries? Absolutely. He said no and then asked for a break.

Did none of the people talking about kids touching stuff not have younger siblings? I'm about 8 years older than my youngest sibling and yes, she got into stuff and no, I wasn't allowed to smack her.

If you read the OP‘s update, you’d see that the teenager tried by moving her things and going to a different room. The five year followed. The parent of the five-year-old should have intervened and redirected her child to something else instead of assuming a teenager is going to babysit for free.

The teen also could have talked to OP or her own parent. Like my 7 year old talked to me.

Again, not hard to avoid hitting a kid.

The 15 year old is ALSO a kid, dummy.

Right which is why none of us are suggesting that the 4 year old’s parents press charges or knock he’s lights out, which is how we respond if an unrelated adult assaulted our child.

Really, you think pressing charging or attacking a child should be an Option?

I wrote "none of us are suggesting . . . " which obviously mean I'm not suggesting it. But if an adult did that to my child, one of those two things would be the outcome.

So, suggesting something like not taking the girl shopping, is recognizing that she's a child. Even children shouldn't get rewarded for violence. They should get age appropriate consequences.

[Anonymous]

Dump your boyfriend. He’s trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend’s 15yo hit my 4yo nephew. He was annoying her and she lightly smacked his arm. It wasn’t hard, didn’t cause injury, but he cried.

My SIL (brothers wife) immediately yelled at my boyfriend, called him a lazy dad, and my boyfriend yelled back at her, said she was dramatic and couldn’t control her kid, they were going on back and fourth for a couple minutes. After we left, he took his daughter to dinner, went shopping, bought her dessert and a new watch.

I guess everyone was reacting in the moment, but I’m still trying to process whether this was handled well and what would have been more appropriate. How would you have handled it? Did they overact?

I probably would have gone and got my gun and ended that abusive shit. Good Lord. What the eff is wrong with him? Was he born wrong or did your boyfriend screw up really bad in raising him?

I’m so thankful I don’t know you and none of my family knows a psychopath like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old was just at my niece's birthday party with a bunch of 3 year olds and handled himself more maturely. Did some 3 year olds bother him and cross his boundaries? Absolutely. He said no and then asked for a break.

Did none of the people talking about kids touching stuff not have younger siblings? I'm about 8 years older than my youngest sibling and yes, she got into stuff and no, I wasn't allowed to smack her.

If you read the OP‘s update, you’d see that the teenager tried by moving her things and going to a different room. The five year followed. The parent of the five-year-old should have intervened and redirected her child to something else instead of assuming a teenager is going to babysit for free.

The teen also could have talked to OP or her own parent. Like my 7 year old talked to me.

Again, not hard to avoid hitting a kid.

The 15 year old is ALSO a kid, dummy.

My kid's babysitter is 15. You guys infantilizing teenagers are doing them no favors.

Children can be babysitters. Treating children like children isn’t infantilizing. This is a weird response considering how helicoptery parents are on here towards their adult kids.

2 year olds in daycare get told "no, we don't hit". Acting like a 15 year old is somehow less savvy (and gets presents for hitting kids) is treating a kid appropriately?

A 15 year old should know not to hit. But, expecting them to act like an adult and calling them crap is unacceptable.

Where does it say they expected the 15 year old to act like an adult. SIL yelled at the boyfriend who demonstrated SIL was right by buying his child gifts. He literally rewarded his daughter smacking a preschooler. He's a shit parent, SIL is right.

People on this thread did. Teens make mistakes.

Stubbing your toe is a mistake. Deliberately hitting a preschooler is a very bad choice.

My brother in law is a teacher and he had a parent go "he just made a mistake" when her son literally set another kid's hair on fire.

I wish I could say I was surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your boyfriend and his daughter are crap people. She hit a small child. She didn't tell him to stop, didn't move away, didn't ask a parent to step in, just hit him. And her parent took her out and rewarded that behavior.

I would dump him and apologize to my actual relative.

Op are you a troll? This is such an obvious case of people being disgusting. I would dump that butthat so fast he wouldn't know what hit him. What horrible people. I completely understand why your sil was mad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team Teen. I’m assuming the girl didn’t immediately resort to swatting him on the arm. And I’m assuming SIL wasn’t discipline fhim or keeping a proper eye on him.

Depending on how long you’ve been dating your boyfriend, these are quasi-family. Teens and toddlers will sometimes scuffle or not act like their best selves. Your SIL overreacted. And your boyfriend got pissed and met her energy.

Your lack of judgement is so far off it's surprising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The kids were playing together at first. Later, my boyfriend’s daughter sat down by herself and my nephew followed her over. She told him no and told me that he kept touching her stuff, so I told him to play with the other kids, which he did.

A few minutes later he came back. That’s when she swatted his arm. He started to cry and reached for me, so I picked him up and comforted him. My SIL came in from another room when she heard him cry and comforted him, and after he had calmed down, she confronted my boyfriend. She didn’t say anything negative about his daughter, but did criticize him.

Sounds like the 15 yr old tried multiple times to get the 5 yo to stop. Used words, moved locations, etc. A swat on the arm is not “smacking” - so which is it? You initially made it seem like the 15 year old abused the 5 year old.
I imagine a swat on the arm is not hard - and has the intended purpose of getting the child to leave things alone without actually inflicting harm.

Your attempt to downplay what happened is pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 7 year old was just at my niece's birthday party with a bunch of 3 year olds and handled himself more maturely. Did some 3 year olds bother him and cross his boundaries? Absolutely. He said no and then asked for a break.

Did none of the people talking about kids touching stuff not have younger siblings? I'm about 8 years older than my youngest sibling and yes, she got into stuff and no, I wasn't allowed to smack her.

If you read the OP‘s update, you’d see that the teenager tried by moving her things and going to a different room. The five year followed. The parent of the five-year-old should have intervened and redirected her child to something else instead of assuming a teenager is going to babysit for free.

The teen also could have talked to OP or her own parent. Like my 7 year old talked to me.

Again, not hard to avoid hitting a kid.

The 15 year old is ALSO a kid, dummy.

My kid's babysitter is 15. You guys infantilizing teenagers are doing them no favors.

Children can be babysitters. Treating children like children isn’t infantilizing. This is a weird response considering how helicoptery parents are on here towards their adult kids.

2 year olds in daycare get told "no, we don't hit". Acting like a 15 year old is somehow less savvy (and gets presents for hitting kids) is treating a kid appropriately?

A 15 year old should know not to hit. But, expecting them to act like an adult and calling them crap is unacceptable.

Where does it say they expected the 15 year old to act like an adult. SIL yelled at the boyfriend who demonstrated SIL was right by buying his child gifts. He literally rewarded his daughter smacking a preschooler. He's a shit parent, SIL is right.

People on this thread did. Teens make mistakes.

Stubbing your toe is a mistake. Deliberately hitting a preschooler is a very bad choice.

My brother in law is a teacher and he had a parent go "he just made a mistake" when her son literally set another kid's hair on fire.

[Anonymous]

PPs it's quite clear this thread is getting troll bombed. Nobody is so stupid they'd call a little swat a big issue. A swat is like a gentle shove, nothing more.